Stalker
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Andy Makes A Move"Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker
22 total reviews
Comment from Lynn27
Hi Gayle,
If this novel was in my bookstore, I would buy it! This is so good. I was on the edge of my seat again.
Excellent work!
Lynn
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2008
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Hi Gayle,
If this novel was in my bookstore, I would buy it! This is so good. I was on the edge of my seat again.
Excellent work!
Lynn
Comment Written 29-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2008
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Hi Lynn,
Oh, that's the kind of review we all love to get, huh? Thank you so much for the for supportive comments.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Allezw2
Lady Gayle,
Indeed, what a terrible dilemma.
You might consider the "formula" more as a process.
There is no secret about the ingredients in Coca-Cola's ingredients. The secret is the process that yields the syrup.
Liquid and gas chromatographs can analyze a substance down to parts per million.
Coke's secret is how they mix the ingredients and how they process them.
Play on!
Wayne
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2008
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Lady Gayle,
Indeed, what a terrible dilemma.
You might consider the "formula" more as a process.
There is no secret about the ingredients in Coca-Cola's ingredients. The secret is the process that yields the syrup.
Liquid and gas chromatographs can analyze a substance down to parts per million.
Coke's secret is how they mix the ingredients and how they process them.
Play on!
Wayne
Comment Written 25-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2008
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Hey Wayne,
Thanks for stopping by. That's the problem, actually. Andy's working on developing the 'reactor' but I had to change that because you can't go toting a reactor all over LA. So it is indeed the process.
Thanks so much for your support...man, five years, my friend!
Hugs,
Gayle
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Time flies when you are having fun!
Comment from Sissy
Hi Gayle,
Finally, Andy meets up w/ the guys. Wonder what's going to happen next. Very well written, I had to struggle to find stuff to pick on. See what you think:
We found several strands of blonde hair clinging to the hole in the fence. Tentatively identified as belonging to Mrs. Baker.
(I wasn't sure about stop after 'fence', and then the fragment after w/ 'Tenatively...' - consider combining.)
strictly on a need(-)to(-)know basis and
That depends on a lot of different things(,) including a huge slice of luck."
Jim remembered those days and shuddered. (<--what days? I was a little confused. The cold war?)
race horses an (racehorses - 1 word/dictionary.com)
Andy paused to let the info sink in (I thought 'info' was a little informal, but that's just my opinion. If you like it, keep it!)
Hope this helps!
Take care,
Sissy
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2008
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Hi Gayle,
Finally, Andy meets up w/ the guys. Wonder what's going to happen next. Very well written, I had to struggle to find stuff to pick on. See what you think:
We found several strands of blonde hair clinging to the hole in the fence. Tentatively identified as belonging to Mrs. Baker.
(I wasn't sure about stop after 'fence', and then the fragment after w/ 'Tenatively...' - consider combining.)
strictly on a need(-)to(-)know basis and
That depends on a lot of different things(,) including a huge slice of luck."
Jim remembered those days and shuddered. (<--what days? I was a little confused. The cold war?)
race horses an (racehorses - 1 word/dictionary.com)
Andy paused to let the info sink in (I thought 'info' was a little informal, but that's just my opinion. If you like it, keep it!)
Hope this helps!
Take care,
Sissy
Comment Written 15-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2008
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LOL! Sissy,
In the first book, SL, when Ella killed Bob? At that time, Lenny was questioning them.... However, if you didn't pick that up and you've read Secret Lives, I guess I better pull that line. Just me...remember how the kids refer to the pirates in the other books??? Silly girl.
Hey, will make the corrections as soon as I get all the reviews answered.
Love ya,
Gayle
Comment from Johnny Carwash
Another slam dunk of a chapter, although this one seemed to grab me even more than the others. Great writing and excellent characterizations here. Like a true horror classic.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2008
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Another slam dunk of a chapter, although this one seemed to grab me even more than the others. Great writing and excellent characterizations here. Like a true horror classic.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2008
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Now, words and all that praise coming from one who makes a mighty scary poem, I take that as the highest compliment. The sixer is just the icing o the lovely cake, m'dear. Now that you're back, I'm looking for more great stuff.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from bookishfabler
Wow. I had to go back and read this. I like these adult books more than the teen books.
Twenty-eight bucks for calamari, if you can believe it, but girl, it was to die for. They dipped these nice tender rings in some sort of egg-white batter then deep fried them; very light and crunchy. Served a nice sized portion on greens with a ramekin of pomegranate seeds and slices of pickled mango ... you could rub it in your hair it was so good, and a bastardized version of Wasabi dressing ... sweet but still hot; man." She swallowed convulsively and giggled. "Absolutely exquisite presentation...."
(This sounds great, but very high price. LOL. Now I want calamari.) I found no nits or spags. Great chapter.
hugs
book
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2008
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Wow. I had to go back and read this. I like these adult books more than the teen books.
Twenty-eight bucks for calamari, if you can believe it, but girl, it was to die for. They dipped these nice tender rings in some sort of egg-white batter then deep fried them; very light and crunchy. Served a nice sized portion on greens with a ramekin of pomegranate seeds and slices of pickled mango ... you could rub it in your hair it was so good, and a bastardized version of Wasabi dressing ... sweet but still hot; man." She swallowed convulsively and giggled. "Absolutely exquisite presentation...."
(This sounds great, but very high price. LOL. Now I want calamari.) I found no nits or spags. Great chapter.
hugs
book
Comment Written 14-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2008
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Hey my little Sous Chef, where you been?
Yeah, out here, food at a good restaurant is unbelievably high, really over the top. Doesn't that sound like a good recipe? I have half a mind to try it! LOL!
Thanks for the smiles and the great comments!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from K Ames
Is there anything n the moon worth mining? I think being less direct here at the end would be brilliant. Or maybe reference how Russia is no longer a super power, but if they had cold fusion capabilities and no one else did...
"flipped his notebook closed " - shut?
"closed the screen then stood there" - you can drop the THEN
He put his finger to his lips - a finger
"different things including a huge" - comma after things?
"beside the US with " - besides the US
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2008
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Is there anything n the moon worth mining? I think being less direct here at the end would be brilliant. Or maybe reference how Russia is no longer a super power, but if they had cold fusion capabilities and no one else did...
"flipped his notebook closed " - shut?
"closed the screen then stood there" - you can drop the THEN
He put his finger to his lips - a finger
"different things including a huge" - comma after things?
"beside the US with " - besides the US
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2008
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Hey XLK,
Thanks for the great R&R! I really appreciate it. I got the 'then' out and added the 's'...don't know where the heck it went in the first place, lol!
Thank you so much for stopping by!
Gayle
Comment from Domino
Hi, Gayle.
As I'm not a Middle East Sheik, I feel able to review imparcially, LOL
'Other than that, cleanest snatch I've ever worked.' - What! LMAO! (dunno if 'snatch' means the same over there!
The cop flipped his notebook closed [comma, closes IT and nodded ?]
Another believable well presented chapter. I'm into this and trying to find nits puts me off the enjoyment.
Excellent dialogue, plot and scene shifts.
Great stuff
Ray xx
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2008
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Hi, Gayle.
As I'm not a Middle East Sheik, I feel able to review imparcially, LOL
'Other than that, cleanest snatch I've ever worked.' - What! LMAO! (dunno if 'snatch' means the same over there!
The cop flipped his notebook closed [comma, closes IT and nodded ?]
Another believable well presented chapter. I'm into this and trying to find nits puts me off the enjoyment.
Excellent dialogue, plot and scene shifts.
Great stuff
Ray xx
Comment Written 06-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2008
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Oh Ray,
Well, I'm as red as a beet. I shall fix! It's now 'grab', you naughty boy!
Thanks for the great comments, and I agree, when I'm really enjoying something, I hate to have one part of my brain trying to find nits! AARGH!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from butterflykiss
A mystery on top of a mystery. Its fast paced, it flows well from one to the other. The characters are rich and likeable, doing what they should be doing.
It a very good read.
Good luck.
Butterflykiss
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2008
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A mystery on top of a mystery. Its fast paced, it flows well from one to the other. The characters are rich and likeable, doing what they should be doing.
It a very good read.
Good luck.
Butterflykiss
Comment Written 06-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2008
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Hi Jane,
So good to see you, as always the to read your wonderful reviews. Thank you for the support and encouragement. It's so appreciated,
Hugs,
Gayle
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Hello,
You're welcome. Looking forward to the next installment and helping to finding her and brining her home alive.
Good luck.
Jane--Butterflykiss
Comment from Stephy Jemmisparks
I like the imagery , of the expressions of the chracters, mainly. The science part may be sharpened a bit for impact, overall beautiful, well-written.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2008
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I like the imagery , of the expressions of the chracters, mainly. The science part may be sharpened a bit for impact, overall beautiful, well-written.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2008
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Hi Stephy,
Thank you so much for the R&R and your fine comments. I'm not much of a science nut, but I will be adding a bit more here and there for additional realism.
Thanks again!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from RenieReader
This is some serious stuff and Andy is caught in the middle, with Candace's life up for grabs. A terrible choice to have to make and I'd sure hate to be in the hot seat. Excellent writing, Gayle. Whew.
Jim said, (omit==>voice) his voice low, thoughtful.
Renie
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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This is some serious stuff and Andy is caught in the middle, with Candace's life up for grabs. A terrible choice to have to make and I'd sure hate to be in the hot seat. Excellent writing, Gayle. Whew.
Jim said, (omit==>voice) his voice low, thoughtful.
Renie
Comment Written 06-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2008
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Hey Renie,
Man, talk about a rock and a hard spot. Can't wait to see what he does...what Tony does...and how about Sadie?
thanks for the great comments and the R&R!
Hugs,
Gayle
