Stalker
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Sadie"Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker
18 total reviews
Comment from William Walz
Story moving along nicely, completely holding my attention. Nothing to suggest. No need to reply. As I get closer to being caught up with the story I will be in a better position to give an overall impression.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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Story moving along nicely, completely holding my attention. Nothing to suggest. No need to reply. As I get closer to being caught up with the story I will be in a better position to give an overall impression.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2008
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My dear, if you review, I'll reply! I'm so glad you're reading along like this, I just wish the bucks were there.
Thanks so much!
Hugs,
Gayle
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You don't really have to reply, and certainly stop worrying about the bucks. I am having a good time reading your book, and learning about who you are as a writer. It's funny about the fanstory editor. When I copy from Word it copies it exactly, italics, punctuation, everything. But it didn't do that when I first got here. Strange.
You story is really good, and I am actually looking forward to seeing what happens next--the true test of a good novel!
Comment from Sissy
Hey Gayle,
Ooh! I even love Sadie! :) Very nice chapter here. You have me wondering about the stalker guy. Can't wait to find out what happens next.
Overall, not much to pick on, Gayle. Just check these out:
"He's a nice dog. We're gonna get one like him, aren't we, Mom?" Sara grinned then turned back to Tony. "Yep, a great big one." (be careful with the 'turned' and 'turned back', Gayle. You've used them a few times at this point. Reread from the beginning and see if you see what I mean.)
Rudy smiled, shaking hands with Candace and Andy Baker (<--need 'Baker'?) while Jim made the introductions.
Andy Baker (<--need 'Baker'?) nudged Jim, not wanting to break the mood. He flicked his head towards the outdoors and nodded.
She looked at her first horse that way." (<--hahahah)
Take care,
Sissy
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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Hey Gayle,
Ooh! I even love Sadie! :) Very nice chapter here. You have me wondering about the stalker guy. Can't wait to find out what happens next.
Overall, not much to pick on, Gayle. Just check these out:
"He's a nice dog. We're gonna get one like him, aren't we, Mom?" Sara grinned then turned back to Tony. "Yep, a great big one." (be careful with the 'turned' and 'turned back', Gayle. You've used them a few times at this point. Reread from the beginning and see if you see what I mean.)
Rudy smiled, shaking hands with Candace and Andy Baker (<--need 'Baker'?) while Jim made the introductions.
Andy Baker (<--need 'Baker'?) nudged Jim, not wanting to break the mood. He flicked his head towards the outdoors and nodded.
She looked at her first horse that way." (<--hahahah)
Take care,
Sissy
Comment Written 21-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2008
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Hey Sissy,
No, we don't need the names all the time. Sheesh, what's with that? Also, the turn/turned thingy. Will fix. I take spells. For a while there, it was 'leaned' man, all the leaning going on...like the shrugging..or the nodding. God!
Thanks so much, dear friend, will fix,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from bookishfabler
"His name is Tony and yes, you can. Just make a fist, reach out your hand and let him sniff it first."
You can always tell when someone knows dogs. I grew up with German Shepards and out of habit, when I see a dog I want to say hello too, I always let him sniff my hand first and read their eyes, and watch their tail.
"Please come in and sit," Rudy said, waving at the long leather couch and
matching armchairs. "Jim brought me up to speed on what you're looking for and I think we have two good candidates.
(Your buddy, evil eddie- pull up the sentence)
They'll give you all the stranger protection you want by instinct, and they'll be standoffish with non-family members, but with their family, they give their lives, no questions asked." (Shepards are exactly the same way.)
I think I'm going to enjoy reading this book.
hugs
Heidi
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
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"His name is Tony and yes, you can. Just make a fist, reach out your hand and let him sniff it first."
You can always tell when someone knows dogs. I grew up with German Shepards and out of habit, when I see a dog I want to say hello too, I always let him sniff my hand first and read their eyes, and watch their tail.
"Please come in and sit," Rudy said, waving at the long leather couch and
matching armchairs. "Jim brought me up to speed on what you're looking for and I think we have two good candidates.
(Your buddy, evil eddie- pull up the sentence)
They'll give you all the stranger protection you want by instinct, and they'll be standoffish with non-family members, but with their family, they give their lives, no questions asked." (Shepards are exactly the same way.)
I think I'm going to enjoy reading this book.
hugs
Heidi
Comment Written 15-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
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Hi Heidi,
Dobies and Shepards are my faves of the big dogs. Loyal to the end, and the psychological impact of their presence keeps most folks in line. Who wants to mess with all those teeth? Besides, when they stand on their hind legs they're like, 5' tall. Teeth right next to nose. Nah, I'll pass.
Let me check that editor glitch. He's an idiot!
Thanks for the comments and R&R,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Sylvia Page
Hi Gayle, Wonderful the way you introduced the dogs. I particularly like Dobes and have always gone for the bigger breeds. I lost one recently and still haven't the heart to replace him. My favorite is the Rhodesian Ridgeback, great hunters. The Dobes like to work in a group. Dogs understand every word you say and they have a way about them. They are able to communicate with you if you know how to read them.
Regards,
Sylvia
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
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Hi Gayle, Wonderful the way you introduced the dogs. I particularly like Dobes and have always gone for the bigger breeds. I lost one recently and still haven't the heart to replace him. My favorite is the Rhodesian Ridgeback, great hunters. The Dobes like to work in a group. Dogs understand every word you say and they have a way about them. They are able to communicate with you if you know how to read them.
Regards,
Sylvia
Comment Written 15-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
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Another dog lover! Hey Sylvia,
I love the Ridgeback, too, gorgous. One of my neighbor's has one, Tess, and she's a Frizbie Fool. Even in the heat, she'll retrieve them all day long. And that coat, that deep chestnut red with the gold undertones. Gorgeous.
Dobie's are my fave, though and you're right, they understand and they 'think' I don't care what anyone says. They think.
Always great to see you, my friend, and get your input on something that is dear to both our hearts.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Another fine chapter, Gayle. I especially liked the comment about Candace looking at Sadie the way she looks at a new horse. That's so appropriate for this setting. I'll try to read more tomorrow. Hope you are well. Love, Jan
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
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Another fine chapter, Gayle. I especially liked the comment about Candace looking at Sadie the way she looks at a new horse. That's so appropriate for this setting. I'll try to read more tomorrow. Hope you are well. Love, Jan
Comment Written 14-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
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Hey Jan,
How are you doing, dear? Hope all is well. Thanks so much for the R&R. I love including the dogs in my stories and these guys are developing their own fans!
Thanks so much for your support,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Lynn27
Hi Galye,
This is a wonderful chapter, that you have penned here. I enjoyed reading it and time flew by. Your details were great and that painted images as I read.
Excellent Job!
Lynn
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2008
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Hi Galye,
This is a wonderful chapter, that you have penned here. I enjoyed reading it and time flew by. Your details were great and that painted images as I read.
Excellent Job!
Lynn
Comment Written 13-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2008
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Hey Lynn,
Isn't it super when you can come in at the beginning of a novel? I hate when I miss the early chapters.
I think you're going to like this one. See you soon and thanks again,
Gayle
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Gayle
Yes, it is, I am so glad that I saw your first chapter. I enjoying your tale so far.
Keep up the wonderful work!
Lynn
Comment from butterflykiss
This is a very interesting concept for a story. My understanding is that the dogs are going to be part of the main characters. If so, It is a wonderful way to show the "human side" of the dobies.
Good luck.
Butterflykiss
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2008
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This is a very interesting concept for a story. My understanding is that the dogs are going to be part of the main characters. If so, It is a wonderful way to show the "human side" of the dobies.
Good luck.
Butterflykiss
Comment Written 13-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2008
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Hi Ms. Kiss,
This is the 4th series of books where the dogs play an integral part. I love animals and they seem to have worked up a fanbase of their own! LOL! Watch for a pm soon.
Gayle
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Hello,
That interesting to know. My granddaughter ,I think sometimes she loves her dobie more than her husband. LOL
I have enjoyed your work very much. I'm not a dog person, but I do enjoy a good story about them.
Good luck on you next chapter.
Butterflykiss
Comment from medisec
Another excellent chapter. You've either done your homework, or you know dogs well (the training). The story keeps me quite captivated, and of course, that's crucial with any story I read. Well done. I have made note of a few nits:
moment(,) then shook her head.
a moment(,) then pulled out
Tony(,) and yes,
Baker(,) while Jim made..
Format: move 'matching armchairs' up to previous line (if you can)
Now(,) who will be
not sure 'littler' is a proper word ... suggest 'smaller'
(')cause (you need the apostrophe to substitute for 'be'cause)
aggressive(,) but completely
the itinerary is (a) killer
Rae
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2008
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Another excellent chapter. You've either done your homework, or you know dogs well (the training). The story keeps me quite captivated, and of course, that's crucial with any story I read. Well done. I have made note of a few nits:
moment(,) then shook her head.
a moment(,) then pulled out
Tony(,) and yes,
Baker(,) while Jim made..
Format: move 'matching armchairs' up to previous line (if you can)
Now(,) who will be
not sure 'littler' is a proper word ... suggest 'smaller'
(')cause (you need the apostrophe to substitute for 'be'cause)
aggressive(,) but completely
the itinerary is (a) killer
Rae
Comment Written 13-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2008
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Hi Rae,
Dang those commas! Hate the little buggers. Let me get in there and see if I can move that sentence. I sure do appreciate the eagle eye and your wonderful and encouraging comments,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Domino
Hi, Gayle.
You're marching on here; wish I were 10% as prolific (and had 10% as much talent) LOL
Great and realistic entrance by the spoilt Sarah.
Not sure, but shouldn't 'the sign on the fence---' be in quote marks?
Aside the story, I'm fascinated at Dobies' behaviour. How do they know who's a friend of their master and who's a 'stranger'? If a stalker approached the dog when it were alone, and stretched out his hand for the dog to sniff, would the dog then thinf the enemy was a friend? - just a thought.
"I cull the pups" -what! -- does that means he kills the ones that bark too loud? LOL
Great description of the Rudy/dog relationship and expressions.
You're so observant and have wonderful descriptive skills of the dog's mannerisms.
Can't see anything needs improving, you're well polished.
Cheers, Ray xx
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2008
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Hi, Gayle.
You're marching on here; wish I were 10% as prolific (and had 10% as much talent) LOL
Great and realistic entrance by the spoilt Sarah.
Not sure, but shouldn't 'the sign on the fence---' be in quote marks?
Aside the story, I'm fascinated at Dobies' behaviour. How do they know who's a friend of their master and who's a 'stranger'? If a stalker approached the dog when it were alone, and stretched out his hand for the dog to sniff, would the dog then thinf the enemy was a friend? - just a thought.
"I cull the pups" -what! -- does that means he kills the ones that bark too loud? LOL
Great description of the Rudy/dog relationship and expressions.
You're so observant and have wonderful descriptive skills of the dog's mannerisms.
Can't see anything needs improving, you're well polished.
Cheers, Ray xx
Comment Written 13-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2008
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Oh Ray, what a lovely thing to say. Thank you.
Well, Dobies, for the most part, are standoffish with strangers unless they're deeply socialized as puppies. Like for a family dog with young kids, you want them very friendly. If someone tries to harm the family the dog instinctively will guard. It seems to come naturally and their loyalty is unquestioned but they don't go around looking for trouble.
LOL! Culling is when Rudy sees signs of early aggression, he keeps those dogs together. The ones that are born docile and would make great family pets, he keeps them together. Behavior is learned, so if you keep like to like it's best.
I love dogs and horses, wonderful animals!
Thanks!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Johnny Carwash
This story is shaping up nicely. Its the type of thing I would definitely shell out dough to see on the big screen, the perfect blend of horror and suspense. You've got yourself another winner here, Gayle.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2008
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This story is shaping up nicely. Its the type of thing I would definitely shell out dough to see on the big screen, the perfect blend of horror and suspense. You've got yourself another winner here, Gayle.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2008
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Hey Johnny,
It is shaping up creepy in real subtle undertones. Let's see where we're going! Thanks for the R&R and the fine comments,
Hugs,
Gayle
