Life Isn't Fair.
A short essay for a friend.47 total reviews
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Janilou,
Nothing is more painful than despair. The deep dark feeling that things can never be better, that there is no way up. Soren Kierkegaard the great Danish philosopher said that the person in such depression must experience "Despair unto Death." He didn't mean they had to die, but rather experience the threshold of death, the point so low that the only direction is up..
Many people have attempted suicide and lived only to learn that every thing was better than death, because death robs you of the gifts that God has in store for you. Gifts you only receive as you live your life.
Jack London jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge because his writing wasn't good enough to sell. Not only was he failing at writing, he hailed at suicide. A barge captain was passing by and pulled him from almost certain death. In a short time his stories of the far north were classics. His suicide would have been a selfish act that would have destroyed a great talentand kept his writing from the world.
I lost two uncles to suicide. I never knew either one. One was my mother's only brother who lost his girlfriend because he couldn't afford gifts she demanded. She would likely have been no loss, but my uncle's loss cused my grandfather to abandon his church where he was a deacon and left my mother neurotic for the rest of his life. From what I've been told my uncle never wanted to hurt those he loved .It wasn't his nature.
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My other uncle was a very different case. He was a brilliant scientist and inventor who became immensely wealthy. His suicide appears to be from a bipolar mind. He could go from the heigths of creativity to the depths of despair in the space of a few minutes. He died at the age of thirty-nine perhaps for no more reason than a failed experiment. I think from studying his achievements, that he robbed the world of mnay spectacular biodegradable plastics. He had formulated them by 1939, but the secrets of their formulation has still not been rediscovered.
So In general suicide comes either from a disfunctional brain or a deep despair taht can pass leaving a stronger person. One of my best friends had a motto that never let him down,"ADVERSITY BUILDS CHARACTER."
My own philosophy is that, "LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING." By that I mean that when we lose family or friends by death, we should compensate for their loss by pouring our energy into living. Do the things that would have made those who are gone, happy if they were still alive. Putting our energy into life is the payment of a debt we owe God for giving us the gift of life and in the end it will heal our souls.
Janilou, I suggest you look at 'Life's Enema' by boberto. In this he hints at suicide as a solution to his pain, suffering and old age, but that's not what I want you to read. Read all the wonderful reviews some expressing alarm , other offering hope and an outpouring of love.
After these reviews appeared, Boberto has risen to new and higher level of writing an expression of pute love for humanity and God.
May God bless and keep you and your friends. I pray I have given you some seeds for hope. Now give your friend and yourself a big hug.
Roger
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Hi Janilou,
Nothing is more painful than despair. The deep dark feeling that things can never be better, that there is no way up. Soren Kierkegaard the great Danish philosopher said that the person in such depression must experience "Despair unto Death." He didn't mean they had to die, but rather experience the threshold of death, the point so low that the only direction is up..
Many people have attempted suicide and lived only to learn that every thing was better than death, because death robs you of the gifts that God has in store for you. Gifts you only receive as you live your life.
Jack London jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge because his writing wasn't good enough to sell. Not only was he failing at writing, he hailed at suicide. A barge captain was passing by and pulled him from almost certain death. In a short time his stories of the far north were classics. His suicide would have been a selfish act that would have destroyed a great talentand kept his writing from the world.
I lost two uncles to suicide. I never knew either one. One was my mother's only brother who lost his girlfriend because he couldn't afford gifts she demanded. She would likely have been no loss, but my uncle's loss cused my grandfather to abandon his church where he was a deacon and left my mother neurotic for the rest of his life. From what I've been told my uncle never wanted to hurt those he loved .It wasn't his nature.
.
My other uncle was a very different case. He was a brilliant scientist and inventor who became immensely wealthy. His suicide appears to be from a bipolar mind. He could go from the heigths of creativity to the depths of despair in the space of a few minutes. He died at the age of thirty-nine perhaps for no more reason than a failed experiment. I think from studying his achievements, that he robbed the world of mnay spectacular biodegradable plastics. He had formulated them by 1939, but the secrets of their formulation has still not been rediscovered.
So In general suicide comes either from a disfunctional brain or a deep despair taht can pass leaving a stronger person. One of my best friends had a motto that never let him down,"ADVERSITY BUILDS CHARACTER."
My own philosophy is that, "LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING." By that I mean that when we lose family or friends by death, we should compensate for their loss by pouring our energy into living. Do the things that would have made those who are gone, happy if they were still alive. Putting our energy into life is the payment of a debt we owe God for giving us the gift of life and in the end it will heal our souls.
Janilou, I suggest you look at 'Life's Enema' by boberto. In this he hints at suicide as a solution to his pain, suffering and old age, but that's not what I want you to read. Read all the wonderful reviews some expressing alarm , other offering hope and an outpouring of love.
After these reviews appeared, Boberto has risen to new and higher level of writing an expression of pute love for humanity and God.
May God bless and keep you and your friends. I pray I have given you some seeds for hope. Now give your friend and yourself a big hug.
Roger
Comment Written 07-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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What an exceptional review this is. Thank you so much, Roger. I can honestly tell you, that is truly is my friend who was suicidal and not myself. But I can also be completely honest and say, I know how he feels because I have stood on that brink myself, years ago after I was attacked. I will certainly take a look at that piece and the reviews.
Your kind words will be remembered for a very long time. Bless your heart.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from babylonia
watching someone die or having someone die while angry words float in the air ... how awful. but it is a reminder that we should regard all life and time as precious. we never know when we will see that person next.
easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. keep up the good work~ good support~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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watching someone die or having someone die while angry words float in the air ... how awful. but it is a reminder that we should regard all life and time as precious. we never know when we will see that person next.
easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. keep up the good work~ good support~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 07-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much! :-) I do appreciate your comments.
Jan
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jan,
you are very welcome~
love,
barbara
Comment from Nicky B
For your friend all I can is this. There will be no getting over it, but if he holds on really tight he will learn to live with it, and in actual fact gain a tremendous amount of insight and wisdom. This will help others who he meets along the path. If he ended his life now, imagine the lives that would not have been helped and blessed by his personal experience and empathy.
I just got interrupted while writing this by a customer (I am working in my second hand bookshop), she is a regular customer who just informed me that she had a malignant brain tumor taken out. She doesn't know if it was successful or not. She lives alone and cannot read anymore due to what the operation incurred. She wants to live though she does not have much in her life. Life is precious and a gift from God. I don't think suicide is a sin, but I think it would be a tragic loss to take your life when you are alive and healthy. He should honor his friends death by leading a loving and productive life. No one can blame him for feeling the pain, but he is going to have let himself off the hook by loving himself unconditionally. I really feel for you and I am incredibly impressed that you would share this personal tragedy. My heart goes out to the girlfriend too, but she has to accept that she wasn't literally to blame, nor could she have envisioned what tragedy would come to pass. They both sound like wonderfully sensitive people and I hope that some day soon that they will see that. God bless. Nick.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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For your friend all I can is this. There will be no getting over it, but if he holds on really tight he will learn to live with it, and in actual fact gain a tremendous amount of insight and wisdom. This will help others who he meets along the path. If he ended his life now, imagine the lives that would not have been helped and blessed by his personal experience and empathy.
I just got interrupted while writing this by a customer (I am working in my second hand bookshop), she is a regular customer who just informed me that she had a malignant brain tumor taken out. She doesn't know if it was successful or not. She lives alone and cannot read anymore due to what the operation incurred. She wants to live though she does not have much in her life. Life is precious and a gift from God. I don't think suicide is a sin, but I think it would be a tragic loss to take your life when you are alive and healthy. He should honor his friends death by leading a loving and productive life. No one can blame him for feeling the pain, but he is going to have let himself off the hook by loving himself unconditionally. I really feel for you and I am incredibly impressed that you would share this personal tragedy. My heart goes out to the girlfriend too, but she has to accept that she wasn't literally to blame, nor could she have envisioned what tragedy would come to pass. They both sound like wonderfully sensitive people and I hope that some day soon that they will see that. God bless. Nick.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much! :-) I do appreciate your comments and I will pray for the customer with the brain tumor.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from Lois Delaney
Hi Janilou,
This is such a sad story. I'm so sorry to hear ab out this. I sure do hope and pray the friend gets through this. Life doesn't feel fair a lot of the time.
So glad to read something from you. I've been off for a long time. Ttyl Hugs from your old friend, HM
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Hi Janilou,
This is such a sad story. I'm so sorry to hear ab out this. I sure do hope and pray the friend gets through this. Life doesn't feel fair a lot of the time.
So glad to read something from you. I've been off for a long time. Ttyl Hugs from your old friend, HM
Comment Written 07-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much! :-) I do appreciate your comments. I have been pretty much gone myself from here lately! LOL
Jan
Comment from venusanblue
Please tell him if God needs him, he will call him. He gave us all life, it is not ours to take. God has not forgotten about him, he has given him time to heal. I am not a overly religious person, I do not attend church, but some time in my life, when young, I did something silly. Its not the way, I heard the words. Telll him to hang on in there. It will come in dreams.
HUgs, V,xxx
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Please tell him if God needs him, he will call him. He gave us all life, it is not ours to take. God has not forgotten about him, he has given him time to heal. I am not a overly religious person, I do not attend church, but some time in my life, when young, I did something silly. Its not the way, I heard the words. Telll him to hang on in there. It will come in dreams.
HUgs, V,xxx
Comment Written 06-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much! :-) I do appreciate your comments. I will pass along your words of wisdom.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from Dave M
Janilou,
This is such a tragic account. Sometimes, people get hurt bad even when they are doing things "right," such as standing behind the guard rail. But as you said, life is not fair.
I couldn't find anything in your writing to criticize.
Dave M
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Janilou,
This is such a tragic account. Sometimes, people get hurt bad even when they are doing things "right," such as standing behind the guard rail. But as you said, life is not fair.
I couldn't find anything in your writing to criticize.
Dave M
Comment Written 06-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you, Dave. Much appreciated.
Jan
Comment from artemis123
I`ts such a sad story and if it`s a true story as it seems i`m pretty sure your friend will realize how much you care when he reads this. It is a bit confusing to me as to whom you are writing this for, the girl or the boy in the story. Maybe you can explain this to me? Nevertheless, the essay is wonderfully written and so heartfelt. I liked it a lot. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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I`ts such a sad story and if it`s a true story as it seems i`m pretty sure your friend will realize how much you care when he reads this. It is a bit confusing to me as to whom you are writing this for, the girl or the boy in the story. Maybe you can explain this to me? Nevertheless, the essay is wonderfully written and so heartfelt. I liked it a lot. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 06-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much! :-) I do appreciate your comments. It is two different situations. The first one about a friend who is suicidal. The second one about the girl whose boyfriend was killed. Sorry for the confusion.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from Jnetgame
Excellent essay. Your friend is lucky to have a friend like you. It's nice to see that people are there for each other when they are going through rough times. Your're right that about all you can do for your friend right now is listen and be there. If your friend has a plan for suicide, you may need to get her to a hospital.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Excellent essay. Your friend is lucky to have a friend like you. It's nice to see that people are there for each other when they are going through rough times. Your're right that about all you can do for your friend right now is listen and be there. If your friend has a plan for suicide, you may need to get her to a hospital.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much! :-) I do appreciate your comments. I don't live close enough to help in that way, but wouldn't hesistate to call 911 if I needed to!
Jan
Comment from ritter1116
I'm no Dr. Phil so not sure what to say but that i was touched by this story. I'll be praying for you and your friends and family. Was a sad sad story.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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I'm no Dr. Phil so not sure what to say but that i was touched by this story. I'll be praying for you and your friends and family. Was a sad sad story.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much! :-) I do appreciate your comments. The prayers are more than enough.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from c_lucas
A very well written account of young people in pain. The mention of suicide caught my attention. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This sounds heartless, but a friend could tell the person abount all the hurt he would cause those love ones he left behind.
Your story is error-free. Good imagery and good descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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A very well written account of young people in pain. The mention of suicide caught my attention. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This sounds heartless, but a friend could tell the person abount all the hurt he would cause those love ones he left behind.
Your story is error-free. Good imagery and good descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much! :-) I do appreciate your comments. It is never the answer.
Jan
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You're welcome, Jan. Charlie
