Life Isn't Fair.
A short essay for a friend.47 total reviews
Comment from SilverFoxes
I hope your friend is okay. I am certain such a heartfelt article would make that person realize, he or she has real friends who care. Very nice and heartfelt work.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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I hope your friend is okay. I am certain such a heartfelt article would make that person realize, he or she has real friends who care. Very nice and heartfelt work.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
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Thank you so much! I hope so too.
Jan
Comment from Permelia
So often the young's emotions are stronger then the older person's, or the young have not yet learned to control them. I feel sorry for the young girl who's last memories are of screaming at her boyfriend. This is a bitter lesson to learn. And the young man who is in so much pain- I hope the doctor's are able to relieve him of some of his pain. You show great sympathy for those you know and care about.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2008
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So often the young's emotions are stronger then the older person's, or the young have not yet learned to control them. I feel sorry for the young girl who's last memories are of screaming at her boyfriend. This is a bitter lesson to learn. And the young man who is in so much pain- I hope the doctor's are able to relieve him of some of his pain. You show great sympathy for those you know and care about.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much. Your kind words are deeply appreciated.
Jan
Comment from writerjen
I liked this story it had depth and you expressed yourself well, my only suggestion is the cliche at the end"he ain't heavy, he's my brother" from an old song. This seemed to ruin the story...it wasn't you but something you picked up along the way. Perhaps rephrase it to make it yours, not somebody else's creative thoughts. Just a thought...otherwise, well done.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2008
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I liked this story it had depth and you expressed yourself well, my only suggestion is the cliche at the end"he ain't heavy, he's my brother" from an old song. This seemed to ruin the story...it wasn't you but something you picked up along the way. Perhaps rephrase it to make it yours, not somebody else's creative thoughts. Just a thought...otherwise, well done.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2008
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Many thanks for the review. I thought about removing that line, but several other reviewers really loved it. I know it could sound cliched, but it isn't meant to be.
Jan
Comment from Ida B
This is a very well written essay about your true feelings about life and the love you have for a friend..You write with lots of passion and you can feel it when you read it.I had a neighbor when I was a young girl that commited suicide. Noone could understand why, because he was just given a job as a F.B.I. agent. Suicide is mysterious and we never know why someone chooses to do it. This is excellent. Ida B
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2008
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This is a very well written essay about your true feelings about life and the love you have for a friend..You write with lots of passion and you can feel it when you read it.I had a neighbor when I was a young girl that commited suicide. Noone could understand why, because he was just given a job as a F.B.I. agent. Suicide is mysterious and we never know why someone chooses to do it. This is excellent. Ida B
Comment Written 10-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review. It is a tragedy anytime it happens.
Jan
Comment from Nescher Pyscher
Well, there's nothing wrong with it, near as I can tell andI DID look for something to clean up. I almost always do. :0)
. It's well written and clean, with nothing I can see to critique.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Well, there's nothing wrong with it, near as I can tell andI DID look for something to clean up. I almost always do. :0)
. It's well written and clean, with nothing I can see to critique.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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LOL Thanks!
Jan
Comment from Annmuma
That's the whole point of life, isn't it -- offering a helping hand every chance we get. Good article and certainly my prayers go out for your friend and for your efforts to help him. ann
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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That's the whole point of life, isn't it -- offering a helping hand every chance we get. Good article and certainly my prayers go out for your friend and for your efforts to help him. ann
Comment Written 08-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much! :-) I do appreciate your comments.
Jan
Comment from davidray
Hi Jan,
How nice of you to take the time to write something so personal, reaching out to a special person in your life. Well done. Nice touch.
David
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2008
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Hi Jan,
How nice of you to take the time to write something so personal, reaching out to a special person in your life. Well done. Nice touch.
David
Comment Written 08-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much, David.
Jan
Comment from Teri7
He told me so in as many words.
Suggestion: Do you think it would sound better if you said in so many words?
This is a wonderful but very sad poem you have penned my friend. IT made me have tears as I was reading it. I understand if you don't want to change anything. I have work like that too. Love you my sweet friend. Teri
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2008
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He told me so in as many words.
Suggestion: Do you think it would sound better if you said in so many words?
This is a wonderful but very sad poem you have penned my friend. IT made me have tears as I was reading it. I understand if you don't want to change anything. I have work like that too. Love you my sweet friend. Teri
Comment Written 08-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2008
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Thanks, Teri. I will take a look at that! :-)
Hugs,
Jan
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It was truly a great write my friend. Love you, Teri
Comment from Sue-z-Q
Hi Jan:
Haven't heard from you for a while. I guess you're very busy.
Note:
[All I can do is help him carry it to the cross. ] Am I confused Should that "him" be "her?" I thought it was the boy that died.
Except for my confusion at the end, this is a well written piece, something so many of us can relate to, regrettably.
Your friend and fan,
Sue-z-Q
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2008
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Hi Jan:
Haven't heard from you for a while. I guess you're very busy.
Note:
[All I can do is help him carry it to the cross. ] Am I confused Should that "him" be "her?" I thought it was the boy that died.
Except for my confusion at the end, this is a well written piece, something so many of us can relate to, regrettably.
Your friend and fan,
Sue-z-Q
Comment Written 08-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2008
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Thanks, Sue-z-Q. I will add a line or two to clear up the misunderstanding.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from Cairn Destop
Thought your best line was when you said if you (your friend) commit suicide, I'll remember you forever. Ask her if that is how she feels about the boyfriend killed in that accident. She will remember him forever. In a way, he will always be alive because she keeps his memory alive. If she takes the time to list how many people will carry both the hurt and the memory, she might have second thoughts. As you said, life isn't fair.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2008
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Thought your best line was when you said if you (your friend) commit suicide, I'll remember you forever. Ask her if that is how she feels about the boyfriend killed in that accident. She will remember him forever. In a way, he will always be alive because she keeps his memory alive. If she takes the time to list how many people will carry both the hurt and the memory, she might have second thoughts. As you said, life isn't fair.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2008
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Thank you so much for the thoughtful review. It is deeply appreciated.
Hugs,
Jan
