Precious Gems: An Anthology
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "The Hardened Land"A Rhyming Collection of Treasured Works
23 total reviews
Comment from mmichelle97219
Too much drought
Too much rain
Both can bring too much pain
Another really well done insightful poem. I liked it a lot.
michelle
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2008
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Too much drought
Too much rain
Both can bring too much pain
Another really well done insightful poem. I liked it a lot.
michelle
Comment Written 25-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2008
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Very clever words here my friend!
I was thinking about how much harder it would be to write about a flood situation than a drought the other day, so that may have to wait a bit...
I'm glad you liked this and thanks for your comments and support as always xoxoxoxo
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just take a look at Iowa right now. there is flooding so bad that there our thousands of people who can only see rooftops. Then turn to the Carolinas where a year or so ago they were rationing water down to the last drop. It is a crazy time, and I just pray that where I am these do not come. I really did like your post.
Michelle
Comment from Paradox Tremors
I must confess, this is a bit longer than I normally like to read in a poem, but--it held me and kept me till I finish much to my surprise. I enjoyed this very much. Great write.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2008
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I must confess, this is a bit longer than I normally like to read in a poem, but--it held me and kept me till I finish much to my surprise. I enjoyed this very much. Great write.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2008
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Thank you PT! I know what you mean! Long poems can seem like such a chore, but sometimes they keep your attention and you're glad to have read them. I'm very happy mine was one of these for you; it does the old ticker good to hear this! Bless you for a wonderful review! xoxoxoxoxoxo
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It deserves better praise than I can write. I enjoyed it very, very much.
Comment from Fish
You've simply got to take out "new" from:
In rising dawn, new sun on the hill.
Or, fix it some other way. It's in nine and
every other line is in eight.
Dammit! this happens to me all the time.
The very end of the poem is the hardest
part. Cuz you think you're done. At least,
I do. Then kind of stray a bit or get lazy.
Otherwise, awesome work! I think I'll go
take a bath with my sheep now. Oops,
while you're at it, fix:
The rifle glints beside him, teasing.
Nine again. Your fishy friend, Fish
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2008
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You've simply got to take out "new" from:
In rising dawn, new sun on the hill.
Or, fix it some other way. It's in nine and
every other line is in eight.
Dammit! this happens to me all the time.
The very end of the poem is the hardest
part. Cuz you think you're done. At least,
I do. Then kind of stray a bit or get lazy.
Otherwise, awesome work! I think I'll go
take a bath with my sheep now. Oops,
while you're at it, fix:
The rifle glints beside him, teasing.
Nine again. Your fishy friend, Fish
Comment Written 24-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2008
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Thanks for the rating and review Fish. But you know, I'll leave those little "annoying" bits of meter that don't quite fit. I have decided that to a degree, any poetry I write won't be a slave to exact meter now. I've written some in the past that read like hoary lecture-type things because I stuck rigidly to meter, and ended up losing the emotional thread somewhat. Correct you are in these observations, but I'm gonna err on the side of art for art's sake! Thanks again and enjoy your sheepy bath. Are ya gonna put bubbles in too? I'm sure they'd enjoy it...!? xoxoxoxoxo
Comment from dportwood
alpacalady,
Perfect imagery and description of a man disheartened by days, months, years of land hardening drought and heat, losing cattle through sale or otherwise, yet crying tears only in the presence of God because he wants to maintain hope for the benefit of loved ones. A story told and retold in farm and ranch life. Sad but so true. Good writing with nice rhyme and rhythm throughout.
dportwood
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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alpacalady,
Perfect imagery and description of a man disheartened by days, months, years of land hardening drought and heat, losing cattle through sale or otherwise, yet crying tears only in the presence of God because he wants to maintain hope for the benefit of loved ones. A story told and retold in farm and ranch life. Sad but so true. Good writing with nice rhyme and rhythm throughout.
dportwood
Comment Written 24-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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Thank you dportwood. Your comments are thoughtful, encouraging, and I appreciate all you have said here. I'm glad you liked this effort, and as said, appreciate your comments very much xoxoxoxoxo
Comment from mamre07
The land is one of the gifts that sustain us. No wonder many religions describe her as Mother Earth because we are raised by her fruits. I love your use of color to display the poem.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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The land is one of the gifts that sustain us. No wonder many religions describe her as Mother Earth because we are raised by her fruits. I love your use of color to display the poem.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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Thank you very much mamre07. I'm very glad you liked this one, and appreciate your comments xoxoxoxoxo
Comment from heyjude
Alpacalady,
Very well written. This describes well how a man might feel
who's worked and worked his land and drought devastates what he's
worked so hard for. You're right, men don't want their families to see their tears.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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Alpacalady,
Very well written. This describes well how a man might feel
who's worked and worked his land and drought devastates what he's
worked so hard for. You're right, men don't want their families to see their tears.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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Thank you heyjude. I'm glad you enjoyed this one, and your comments as always, are greatly appreciated xoxoxoxoxoxo
Comment from Kentucky Sweet Pea
I am weeping within what is a metaphor for me in this post. Life isn't easy here right now either. We are struggling and I see it in my man, and was thinking along these very lines yesterday afternoon. Then here you come with this poem.
Now, let's address the greatness of your work. Chris, you are, and I know I've said this before, ONE OF THE BEST writers on this site. I am continually impressed with the caliber of your work, the caliber of who you are as a human being and the caliber of who you are as a friend and family member.
I adore you.
Pea
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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I am weeping within what is a metaphor for me in this post. Life isn't easy here right now either. We are struggling and I see it in my man, and was thinking along these very lines yesterday afternoon. Then here you come with this poem.
Now, let's address the greatness of your work. Chris, you are, and I know I've said this before, ONE OF THE BEST writers on this site. I am continually impressed with the caliber of your work, the caliber of who you are as a human being and the caliber of who you are as a friend and family member.
I adore you.
Pea
Comment Written 24-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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You got me blubbering like little baby you did Pea...To say I appreciate this review is an understatement. Your comments about "caliber" were a huge surprise and I take this, and the reivew, as extremely high praise indeed. Your encouragement is like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow my friend. I truly hope that things improve for you and hubby. they do say it gets worse before it gets better, so hopefully you're in the "worst" now, and will come out the other side very soon.
As to who is a "high caliber" human being? Well, methinks you might just shoot past me in those stakes! I totally ADORE you too, and appreciate more than you can know what you have said here. Your support is awesome. xoxoxoxoxoxo
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there is that word "blubber" that most of us omitted in the use these words contest. lol!
girl, the only thing that matters is that we've found one another. 20 years ago, had we been the same age, the same people but 20 years sooner~~~i'd never have known you. we are so blessed! thank you so much!
love you,
penny
Comment from babylonia
yes, they can and many bellies can go unfilled. how sad. it is feast or famine. i still think there is a way to take the excess water in the flooded areas and send it to the arid ones.
easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. stanzas are well written. definitely keep up the good work~
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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yes, they can and many bellies can go unfilled. how sad. it is feast or famine. i still think there is a way to take the excess water in the flooded areas and send it to the arid ones.
easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. stanzas are well written. definitely keep up the good work~
Comment Written 24-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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I agree! And what about the oceans? For gawd's sake, they know how to desalinate, yet are they doing it? Nah! this way, they can still keep us in a strangle-hold. It makes my blood boil.
Thank you so very much babylonia for your comments and rating - very, very much appreciated! xoxoxoxoxo
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yep, gets my goat as well. LOL look at the things we can do to not be dependent on fossil fuels. do we get to do them? nope, and for the same reason as you have already stated. they want to control us. 1984 came all right just not in the way most people would have thought.
love,
barbara
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Yep, sadly it appears Bowie got it wrong, or maybe not...
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there is always a little truth in fiction and vice versa. when the government attempts to "regulate" everything in people's lives then they are controlling them. where is the freedom in homeland security? i don't feel it.
thanks for listening.
love,
barbara
Comment from eraserlynch
Great poem and you areso right in your author notes - so many young farmers committing suicide as it is so hard on the land. Look forward to reading more in the future.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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Great poem and you areso right in your author notes - so many young farmers committing suicide as it is so hard on the land. Look forward to reading more in the future.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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Yes, we had a friend of ours commit suicide some years ago as life on the dairy farm got too overwhelming for him, along with raising a family of 4 children. I wondered what went through his mind before he put the rope around his neck...
Thank you, for an insightful and encouraging review - it is very much appreciated xoxoxoxoxoxo
Comment from c_lucas
Well written. One observation. Red on black is hard on old people's eyes. I had to highlight (changing black to blue and red to white) the poem to read it.Good imagery. Good descriptive scheme.
He'll head for home, though shoulders bent
With mission done, and sorrow spent
His loved ones won't know how he cried
Nor sense the worry kept inside
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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Well written. One observation. Red on black is hard on old people's eyes. I had to highlight (changing black to blue and red to white) the poem to read it.Good imagery. Good descriptive scheme.
He'll head for home, though shoulders bent
With mission done, and sorrow spent
His loved ones won't know how he cried
Nor sense the worry kept inside
Comment Written 24-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
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I'll take a look at that c_lucas! And thank you for suh a lovely and encouraging review xoxoxoxxoo
