Teardrops From Heaven.
A birthday message45 total reviews
Comment from syndactl
Beautiful story, Janilou. I enjoyed reading this because it showed how love of a lost one can cause pain for a time, but in the end, even though you miss them the pain will fade. I love the idea of the mother writing to her daughter from heaven. :)
-syndactl
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Beautiful story, Janilou. I enjoyed reading this because it showed how love of a lost one can cause pain for a time, but in the end, even though you miss them the pain will fade. I love the idea of the mother writing to her daughter from heaven. :)
-syndactl
Comment Written 16-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you so very much for this wonderful review!
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from potepoet
Great opening images of horizons and bruised clouds hanging. Revising "sheets of rain" and unsuccessful attempts at breakthrough to less frequently used language might enhance the imagery further.
Beautiful and believable letter.
I loved that she let the letter go so that the wind would take it away, symbolically, to the daughter.
I was thrown for a loop when the daughter read the letter and started missing the mom and was confused about who died and who was in heaven. I pinpointed that the mention of the study in heaven made me think that the mother was on earth.
Then I really liked the ending and re-reading the letter to see the parallels between the earth and heaven and each side of the love separated.
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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2008
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Great opening images of horizons and bruised clouds hanging. Revising "sheets of rain" and unsuccessful attempts at breakthrough to less frequently used language might enhance the imagery further.
Beautiful and believable letter.
I loved that she let the letter go so that the wind would take it away, symbolically, to the daughter.
I was thrown for a loop when the daughter read the letter and started missing the mom and was confused about who died and who was in heaven. I pinpointed that the mention of the study in heaven made me think that the mother was on earth.
Then I really liked the ending and re-reading the letter to see the parallels between the earth and heaven and each side of the love separated.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2008
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Thank you so much for the review. My intention was exactly that - to make the reader think the daughter was dead, not the mother. :-) A twist to make the writing more interesting. So glad you enjoyed this one.
Jan
Comment from Costa J John
Death is often written about casually and with no respect, but more for entertainment purposes. A topic like this however is really sad.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Death is often written about casually and with no respect, but more for entertainment purposes. A topic like this however is really sad.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you for your review.
Jan
Comment from Lady & Louis
That's a nice touch, Jan, having the turn-around at the end. Margaret's feelings are a good reminder to the people who think the departed don't have human cares and feelings, that people are still people, whether they are in this flesh or that of the next life.
There was only one nit that I saw, a quote mark the Evil Editor seems to have stuck in:
Margaret reached up and squeezed the comforting hand."
(Like the way Margaret's companion is unidentified, and the "She's d..." left unfinished... "down there" perhaps?)
Good to see you on site again... Hugs!
Louise xxxx
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2008
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That's a nice touch, Jan, having the turn-around at the end. Margaret's feelings are a good reminder to the people who think the departed don't have human cares and feelings, that people are still people, whether they are in this flesh or that of the next life.
There was only one nit that I saw, a quote mark the Evil Editor seems to have stuck in:
Margaret reached up and squeezed the comforting hand."
(Like the way Margaret's companion is unidentified, and the "She's d..." left unfinished... "down there" perhaps?)
Good to see you on site again... Hugs!
Louise xxxx
Comment Written 16-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2008
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Yes! You got it, exactly. "She's down there." :-) I will fix the nit. LOL
Thanks for the great review! I used my mother's middle name and my middle name, and when I typed Louise, I thought of you immediately.
Hugs,
Jan
Comment from AlvinTEthington
A highly experimental poem, but it works. This is the closest to stream of consciousness I have seen you write. You also leave the reader involved, as s/he doesn't know what part is reality and what part is fiction. Tying the stories together by the image of the three tears is a beautiful flow. It's interesting you use the word "messenger" at the end, for that is what "angel" in both Hebrew and Greek means.
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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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A highly experimental poem, but it works. This is the closest to stream of consciousness I have seen you write. You also leave the reader involved, as s/he doesn't know what part is reality and what part is fiction. Tying the stories together by the image of the three tears is a beautiful flow. It's interesting you use the word "messenger" at the end, for that is what "angel" in both Hebrew and Greek means.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008
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Thank you, Al. I have missed your haiku lately. I really appreciate your comments.
Jan
