Lady Detective
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "A Lot of Fight"Suspense crime novel with romance.
17 total reviews
Comment from Earthwriter
this piece has it all drama suspense and elation i was very entertained and felt the dialog had a very real feel to it nice job my friend
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this piece has it all drama suspense and elation i was very entertained and felt the dialog had a very real feel to it nice job my friend
Comment Written 14-Jun-2008
Comment from Jonez08
Elaine, awesome ending. Wow. Good imagery and dialog. The weather aspect added so much to the scene. Excellent. Ryan my hero. It's over!
Cassandra
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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Elaine, awesome ending. Wow. Good imagery and dialog. The weather aspect added so much to the scene. Excellent. Ryan my hero. It's over!
Cassandra
Comment Written 12-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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thank you for reading, it has been quite an adventure
Comment from mrscsmart
Oh wow wow wow . Seems like i had to wait forever for this chapter but it was WELL worth the wait. Excellent job my dear.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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Oh wow wow wow . Seems like i had to wait forever for this chapter but it was WELL worth the wait. Excellent job my dear.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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thank you so much for taking this trip with me
Comment from nitad
okay, it's official, I'm going to have to go back and start this book from chapter one! Great storyline, lots of drama and excellent dialogue.
Well done.
Nita
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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okay, it's official, I'm going to have to go back and start this book from chapter one! Great storyline, lots of drama and excellent dialogue.
Well done.
Nita
Comment Written 12-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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thank you for reading, it's kind of long but a good story. thank you for reading.
Comment from earthlybeing
Oh a great chapter. Can't wait to see if Ruckus and Burly end up ok. I sure hope so. This chapter was well written. It flows well and is easy to read and understand. The action was great and the dialogue also. Thanks, Jeanette
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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Oh a great chapter. Can't wait to see if Ruckus and Burly end up ok. I sure hope so. This chapter was well written. It flows well and is easy to read and understand. The action was great and the dialogue also. Thanks, Jeanette
Comment Written 12-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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thank you for reading
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Elaine :)
I'm glad to see the end approaching, but sad too because I'll miss these characters, Will they be back in another story? This is an excellent chapter with a tiny bit of SPAG:
1. She rolled to the base of the bleachers, used them to pull herself up [with].[I recommend that you delete with. It is not needed.)
2. Burly didn't have time to move before he fell, and he landed right [ontop ==> on top} of her.
3. She tried to pick up her head up, but Ryan held her still.... (Did you mean: [She tried to pick her head up, but Ryan held her still....
Now for the ep[logue.
Roger
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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Hi Elaine :)
I'm glad to see the end approaching, but sad too because I'll miss these characters, Will they be back in another story? This is an excellent chapter with a tiny bit of SPAG:
1. She rolled to the base of the bleachers, used them to pull herself up [with].[I recommend that you delete with. It is not needed.)
2. Burly didn't have time to move before he fell, and he landed right [ontop ==> on top} of her.
3. She tried to pick up her head up, but Ryan held her still.... (Did you mean: [She tried to pick her head up, but Ryan held her still....
Now for the ep[logue.
Roger
Comment Written 11-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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thank you for the suggestions, going to fix them now.
You have been wonderful pointing out my errors and expressing them in a constructive way. I appreciate your help, thank you.
Comment from RenieReader
Wow! Talk about your action! I was just getting ready to cheer for Burly, and now this. I don't think I can stand it. Please let the Epilogue be positive, mcdaniel1299. This is very well written, just a couple of nits.
Burly didn't have time to move before he fell, and he landed right on[space]top of her. (Two words)
[Your==>You're] bleeding."
She tried to pick [up==>her] head up, but Ryan held her still.
Renie
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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Wow! Talk about your action! I was just getting ready to cheer for Burly, and now this. I don't think I can stand it. Please let the Epilogue be positive, mcdaniel1299. This is very well written, just a couple of nits.
Burly didn't have time to move before he fell, and he landed right on[space]top of her. (Two words)
[Your==>You're] bleeding."
She tried to pick [up==>her] head up, but Ryan held her still.
Renie
Comment Written 11-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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Thank you for reading
Comment from ThyLordDracula
Well done- great plot and characters- terrific dialogue- lots of action- hope Burly and Ruckus will be okay- very descriptive- Respectfully ^V^
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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Well done- great plot and characters- terrific dialogue- lots of action- hope Burly and Ruckus will be okay- very descriptive- Respectfully ^V^
Comment Written 11-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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Thank you for reading
Comment from heyjude
Mcdaniel,
This has been thrilling all the way through. Now to read the next chapter and find out how Ruckus and Burly are doing. I'll be waiting to hear when it's in print.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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Mcdaniel,
This has been thrilling all the way through. Now to read the next chapter and find out how Ruckus and Burly are doing. I'll be waiting to hear when it's in print.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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I may put my characters through the wringer, but I don't think I could kill them off. I would have to have a funeral for them and everything, it's bad enough that the story is about to end. Sniff. Sniff.
Thank you for reading
Comment from Oatmeal
mcdaniel,
This is a well written chapter. The story line flows very well. The characters are very realistic. The dialog is easy to follow.
There were no homophones, no spelling or grammatical errors.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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mcdaniel,
This is a well written chapter. The story line flows very well. The characters are very realistic. The dialog is easy to follow.
There were no homophones, no spelling or grammatical errors.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 11-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2008
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thank you for reading, I appreciate the time you took and the suggestions.
