On Your Mark! Get Set! GO!
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "End of Romance"Life stories in only six words!
87 total reviews
Comment from Popcorn69
Amada,
This was great to read and I could see a visual of this as I read it. I know people who this has happen too. I think this piece will do good in the contest. I do not see any errors. Well done and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-May-2008
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Amada,
This was great to read and I could see a visual of this as I read it. I know people who this has happen too. I think this piece will do good in the contest. I do not see any errors. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-May-2008
reply by the author on 05-May-2008
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Thank you, Popcorn69, for liking this entry.
Comment from heyjude
Amada,
Unfortunately, sometimes the romance does go along the
wayside. A little humorous, but also true. We forget to spice
up our marriage with fun and romance.
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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Amada,
Unfortunately, sometimes the romance does go along the
wayside. A little humorous, but also true. We forget to spice
up our marriage with fun and romance.
Comment Written 04-May-2008
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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This is so true, heyjude. I was trying to do something different in the funny side. Based on a poem I'm writing, first love romance, you know, we are so dense at that time. Thank you for the concern.
Comment from Asian Sapphire
My first reaction was to stare and blink. I waited several seconds for the page to load...until I realized that the six words was the story.
Anyway, that's beside the point. Despite it's brevity, I think you captured the image very well. Short and to the point. It leaves the rest to the imagination, and I like open-ended things like that.
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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My first reaction was to stare and blink. I waited several seconds for the page to load...until I realized that the six words was the story.
Anyway, that's beside the point. Despite it's brevity, I think you captured the image very well. Short and to the point. It leaves the rest to the imagination, and I like open-ended things like that.
Comment Written 04-May-2008
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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Thank you, Asuab Sapphire for the great review.
Comment from Country Hermit
When I read this the first time I laughed because the images that flew through my brain ended in a big bloody splat.
Same thing happened when I read it the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th times!
This is priceless. A whole story from beginning to end in six words....done beautifully! Hope you won......I would have definately voted for this. How am I gonna get that image out of my head before I go to bed? I see a nightmare in the making!
All my best,
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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When I read this the first time I laughed because the images that flew through my brain ended in a big bloody splat.
Same thing happened when I read it the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th times!
This is priceless. A whole story from beginning to end in six words....done beautifully! Hope you won......I would have definately voted for this. How am I gonna get that image out of my head before I go to bed? I see a nightmare in the making!
All my best,
Comment Written 04-May-2008
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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Thank you Country Hermit for understanding the poem. Many don't. I hope those six words don't give you a nightmare, pleeease.
Comment from redrider6612
I didn't get much of a picture from this. I know it's hard to convey much with only six words, but the idea is to put a complete thought or concept or scene in the six words, which I didn't get with this. Sorry, but I think it could be better.
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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I didn't get much of a picture from this. I know it's hard to convey much with only six words, but the idea is to put a complete thought or concept or scene in the six words, which I didn't get with this. Sorry, but I think it could be better.
Comment Written 04-May-2008
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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Thank you for review, redrider6612; next time will be better.
Comment from Earthwriter
very interesting write on this contest i really liked your presentation on this one painted a vivivd picture for the reader excellent
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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very interesting write on this contest i really liked your presentation on this one painted a vivivd picture for the reader excellent
Comment Written 04-May-2008
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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Thank you Earthwriter for the great review.
Comment from Candis
This is a really tough one to review. Per contest description, you've achieved your goal. Six words is a hard one. "Wipe off tears, turns and leaves." I had to try it. Good job, you told your story.
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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This is a really tough one to review. Per contest description, you've achieved your goal. Six words is a hard one. "Wipe off tears, turns and leaves." I had to try it. Good job, you told your story.
Comment Written 04-May-2008
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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Thank you, Candis, for the fruitful review, and your understanding to the rules of the contest.
Comment from Mr Hyde
I've always taken Hemingway's flash story as the Holy Grail for conveying so much in so few words. I know the key is finding a common experience with the reader so that they can fill in with words you haven't used.
I haven't had this experience personally :) but I got the idea clearly. Good job.
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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I've always taken Hemingway's flash story as the Holy Grail for conveying so much in so few words. I know the key is finding a common experience with the reader so that they can fill in with words you haven't used.
I haven't had this experience personally :) but I got the idea clearly. Good job.
Comment Written 04-May-2008
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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That's exactly, I took Hemingway's example: For sale. Baby shoes. Never used. I am trying to make it a Never used Bridal gown Besto offer. But I thought I would be cheating. This is the way it happened. Something dramatic. Thank you for understanding it
Comment from RossJM
Well, Amada.
You have certainly demonstrated your ability to write a story in six words.
I think a good artwork could illustrate it very well.
Good luck in that contest.
Ross
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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Well, Amada.
You have certainly demonstrated your ability to write a story in six words.
I think a good artwork could illustrate it very well.
Good luck in that contest.
Ross
Comment Written 04-May-2008
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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You are right. i was looking for a caricature, sort of no offending anyone for the similarity, but i didn't find any. Thank you for the suggestion.
Comment from empire76
I like that... Definitely falls in the vicinity of life-changing event about your life (did I get that right)? Man this contest is fill out again. So not fair! :-(
E
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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I like that... Definitely falls in the vicinity of life-changing event about your life (did I get that right)? Man this contest is fill out again. So not fair! :-(
E
Comment Written 04-May-2008
reply by the author on 04-May-2008
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Thank you E. No, my husband is a sweetheart. It's based on a boyfriend I had many years ago. When i was dense and dumb.
