Bathed In Your Light
It just takes one!92 total reviews
Comment from ~Dovey
Now basking in the illumination
of the twenty-four hour night.
I continue on, hoping that
you never leave me and I am
forever bathed in the beauty
of your glowing light
We experience something very similar here in Alaska... though I much prefer the 24 hr sunlight. :) Thanks for sharing this beautiful picture and poem Mike!
Kim
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2008
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Now basking in the illumination
of the twenty-four hour night.
I continue on, hoping that
you never leave me and I am
forever bathed in the beauty
of your glowing light
We experience something very similar here in Alaska... though I much prefer the 24 hr sunlight. :) Thanks for sharing this beautiful picture and poem Mike!
Kim
Comment Written 01-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2008
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Thank you for sharing with me your favorite, the compliments and this review. Everything is reversed though. My father would have liked to get close to the north pole, but that never happened. I would just like to see the magic of the lights.
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I've lived here since I was a toddler... and the Aurora still holds magic for me, every time I see it. :) If you ever get the chance, don't hesitate. You will love it! :)
Comment from S. Crawler
It's good to know that good ol' Mr. Moon could deliver all that encouragement via beams of light--it would have taken a lot more for me to have succeeded in your situation. It appears you are a born thrill seeker. My regards, a noble quest. Your poem was honest, and it presented a bleak turned hopeful scene.
I have some suggestions below:
I planned well; but this, (hoped) to avoid (this verb has to agree with the tense of the verb planned, for a balanced sentence) (I had hoped would be even better)
worry, and truly pray, that (less confusing, grammatically)
once again(omit comma for reasons of clarity) make way
pass by(.) You're...
continue on (is redundant)
never leave me(,) and...
Had a hard time with "lips of your soul" being attributed to the moon--not saying it's wrong or right, just that I tripped on it.
The liberties you have enlisted to break up the stanzas confuses me a bit--a few lines end/start at odd places, but poetically speaking, I guess anything can be allowed.
May you always have a guide in life's great adventures.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2008
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It's good to know that good ol' Mr. Moon could deliver all that encouragement via beams of light--it would have taken a lot more for me to have succeeded in your situation. It appears you are a born thrill seeker. My regards, a noble quest. Your poem was honest, and it presented a bleak turned hopeful scene.
I have some suggestions below:
I planned well; but this, (hoped) to avoid (this verb has to agree with the tense of the verb planned, for a balanced sentence) (I had hoped would be even better)
worry, and truly pray, that (less confusing, grammatically)
once again(omit comma for reasons of clarity) make way
pass by(.) You're...
continue on (is redundant)
never leave me(,) and...
Had a hard time with "lips of your soul" being attributed to the moon--not saying it's wrong or right, just that I tripped on it.
The liberties you have enlisted to break up the stanzas confuses me a bit--a few lines end/start at odd places, but poetically speaking, I guess anything can be allowed.
May you always have a guide in life's great adventures.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2008
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I am sorry that you didn't really like this one. No not everything goes with poetry and it took me quite a while to get up the courage to review this type. It essentially uses the moon to describe the qualities of a woman that has touched me. Analogy is one term, but this is more of a double entenre'. Many poems here are somewhat puzzlelike as they use various descritives to indicate feelings that people would associate with both. Thank you for taking the time to review this one. Mike
Comment from jamdownjenny
Hello Mike,
You led me up one path and then deviated, I liked that!
The picture was awesome, the piece was well written and flowed well. I enjoyed the read.
Thanks for sharing and keep on writing and posting,
jamdownjenny
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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Hello Mike,
You led me up one path and then deviated, I liked that!
The picture was awesome, the piece was well written and flowed well. I enjoyed the read.
Thanks for sharing and keep on writing and posting,
jamdownjenny
Comment Written 31-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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I just posted another one and a trickster will follow. Thank you very much for your compliments and this review.
Comment from Ken the Carpenter
Nice poem with the understanding of a prayer, but the light you look for is within your own being. This body we only occupy it is not who or what we are, we are so much more. God bless
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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Nice poem with the understanding of a prayer, but the light you look for is within your own being. This body we only occupy it is not who or what we are, we are so much more. God bless
Comment Written 31-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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I absolutely agree and the body can tolerate a lot when the spirit is involved. Thank you very much for the compliments and this review. God bless you as well. MikeK
Comment from mmichelle97219
It sounds gorgeous, and makes me wish I could see it for myself. Maybe I will one day. A very brilliantly written poem.
Michelle
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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It sounds gorgeous, and makes me wish I could see it for myself. Maybe I will one day. A very brilliantly written poem.
Michelle
Comment Written 31-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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Thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Yes I agree, cold but beautiful and travel takes quite a bit.
Comment from mariejames
This is a pleasant, enjoyable piece to read. It's a well written poem. The picture is beautiful and I'm glad you included a description of it as it adds appreciation. Nice work!
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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This is a pleasant, enjoyable piece to read. It's a well written poem. The picture is beautiful and I'm glad you included a description of it as it adds appreciation. Nice work!
Comment Written 31-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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Thank you very much for the compliments and this review.
Comment from Spacey~Stacey
This is so beautiful filled with images galore! I truly enjoyed reading your work! Thank you so much for sharing this. I look forward to more. Thanks again!
Stacey
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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This is so beautiful filled with images galore! I truly enjoyed reading your work! Thank you so much for sharing this. I look forward to more. Thanks again!
Stacey
Comment Written 31-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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I really appreciated this review and thank you very much for it; the flattering compliments as well.
Comment from justmade
Roar succumbed by whisper-- well that will be something wonderful to see always. I get the point though, like when a soft and sorry voice speaks to the angry the latter should succumb at some point.
Cheers.
Much love,
Justmade.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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Roar succumbed by whisper-- well that will be something wonderful to see always. I get the point though, like when a soft and sorry voice speaks to the angry the latter should succumb at some point.
Cheers.
Much love,
Justmade.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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I was going to say, that's better then the other way around! Thank you very much for your compliments and this review.
Comment from star10
You are a very gifted writer the picture that you have chosen is very suitable for this poem. You know how to articulate your thoughts well. My favorite verse " the roar succumbs to a whisper". No spag
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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You are a very gifted writer the picture that you have chosen is very suitable for this poem. You know how to articulate your thoughts well. My favorite verse " the roar succumbs to a whisper". No spag
Comment Written 31-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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Thank you very much for sharing with me your favorites, the compliments and this review.
Comment from luna
Mike, I'm enjoying your writing more and more each time I read a piece by you. You really have an innate sense of expression. What a picture, that is just beautiful, I can't imagine a place where there is moonlight all the time, but would love to go there. Keep writing!
Yours,
Luna *smile*
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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Mike, I'm enjoying your writing more and more each time I read a piece by you. You really have an innate sense of expression. What a picture, that is just beautiful, I can't imagine a place where there is moonlight all the time, but would love to go there. Keep writing!
Yours,
Luna *smile*
Comment Written 31-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2008
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Thank you very much for your compliments and this review. I really also have to thank many FanStory members for helping me achieve this quality of writing.
