Missing you!
It takes such a short while...11 total reviews
Comment from kassey
This is such a nice poem and truly heartfelt to the one you love. The rhyme is goosd the meter a bit off in places but you are talking from your heart and this is what happens. Your sentiments are great and altogether makes an excellent poem Kay
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2008
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This is such a nice poem and truly heartfelt to the one you love. The rhyme is goosd the meter a bit off in places but you are talking from your heart and this is what happens. Your sentiments are great and altogether makes an excellent poem Kay
Comment Written 23-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2008
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Thank you for the compliment and this review.
Comment from heyjude
Mike,
Very special poem about relationships; missing people when they're not around so much. I especially like the part that says keep the best part of me with you. Enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2008
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Mike,
Very special poem about relationships; missing people when they're not around so much. I especially like the part that says keep the best part of me with you. Enjoyed it.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2008
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That last line demonstartes both faith and the fact that the other person is considered their better half. Thank you very much for this review and the compliments.
Comment from Twomoon
Mike, hello, how sad my friend..you are missing someone, it sounds like you had a great relationship..what happened? Well, this is lovely and I feel for you. your words are from a heart that is so sad..it makes me sad..hope it all turns out well and she calls so you can continue your happy days..nicely written poem..I loved the end..quite beautiful. much love twomoon
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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Mike, hello, how sad my friend..you are missing someone, it sounds like you had a great relationship..what happened? Well, this is lovely and I feel for you. your words are from a heart that is so sad..it makes me sad..hope it all turns out well and she calls so you can continue your happy days..nicely written poem..I loved the end..quite beautiful. much love twomoon
Comment Written 21-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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It's funny, I'm happy again! A lot of people that I am fans of stopped writing for the time being and I wanted to put the feelings into words as if it were real. My story is quite different and that's why I changed things. It is also funny, because I completed another one during work that I am about to post. I really hope they don't read my reviews. lol I enjoyed and appreciated your compliments and this review. ThankTwo
Comment from Bryana
Nicely written poem about the absence of a loved one. I assume it's free verse since the meter is not consistent.
Some words could be omitted for a better rhythm:
But never thought that your
absence would make me alone.
I know the business, myself
and home is such a tight fit.
These are just suggestions.
It was a pleasure to read your poem.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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Nicely written poem about the absence of a loved one. I assume it's free verse since the meter is not consistent.
Some words could be omitted for a better rhythm:
But never thought that your
absence would make me alone.
I know the business, myself
and home is such a tight fit.
These are just suggestions.
It was a pleasure to read your poem.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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Thank you for your suggestions, I will look at them later in the day. Also for your compliments and this review.
Comment from Readywriter52
When we are with a person for a while, the relationship can get stale. We want a "vacation" from that person. "I planned to relax, enjoy; and make the most of the time" says about the same thing. I start to miss my spouse and "It feels the same, as if you walked; out the door, calling it quits." I don't thing absence make the heart fonder but it make you realize how much a part of your life that person is.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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When we are with a person for a while, the relationship can get stale. We want a "vacation" from that person. "I planned to relax, enjoy; and make the most of the time" says about the same thing. I start to miss my spouse and "It feels the same, as if you walked; out the door, calling it quits." I don't thing absence make the heart fonder but it make you realize how much a part of your life that person is.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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You are exactly correct with you assesement. Thank you very much for your compliments and this reveiw.
Comment from Earthwriter
nice sentiment expressed in this one it had anice flow to it and did not seem forced nice use of imagery thanks for sharing your work
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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nice sentiment expressed in this one it had anice flow to it and did not seem forced nice use of imagery thanks for sharing your work
Comment Written 20-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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Thank you for reading it. Also the compliments and this review.
Comment from CrystalSwan
Good poetry.
No misspelled words. Good grammar.
Easy reading. Good writing.
Well structured
Mike this is a beautiful poem.
Keep writing!!!
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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Good poetry.
No misspelled words. Good grammar.
Easy reading. Good writing.
Well structured
Mike this is a beautiful poem.
Keep writing!!!
Comment Written 20-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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Thank you very much for the compliments and this review. With beautiful encouragement such as this, I surely will.
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What happened ? I recieved this reply 10 times.
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Probably a glitch! It happens here. I only show one time.
Comment from ark82
This poem has a bittersweet tone to it.
I think the rhyme scheme fits nicely.
An easy read and a topic that I'm sure many can relate to.
Nice job!
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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This poem has a bittersweet tone to it.
I think the rhyme scheme fits nicely.
An easy read and a topic that I'm sure many can relate to.
Nice job!
Comment Written 20-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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Thank you very much for your compliments and this review.
Comment from LynnRadford
Very nice sentiment, Mike.
My only criticism is that I didn't like the semicolon followed by the dash, in the final stanza. I think one or the other would be sufficient enough.
This was as usual well written and a joy to read.
Thanks for sharing.
Lynn
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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Very nice sentiment, Mike.
My only criticism is that I didn't like the semicolon followed by the dash, in the final stanza. I think one or the other would be sufficient enough.
This was as usual well written and a joy to read.
Thanks for sharing.
Lynn
Comment Written 20-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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On your advice, I fixed that. Thank you for your compliments and review.
Comment from Mischief's Momma
Ah parting is such sweet sorrow! The meter is not always consistent and some of your rhymes, like some of mine, are a bit of a stretch, but nevertheless an enjoyable poem. Well done. Happy conquering!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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Ah parting is such sweet sorrow! The meter is not always consistent and some of your rhymes, like some of mine, are a bit of a stretch, but nevertheless an enjoyable poem. Well done. Happy conquering!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2008
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I never sacrifice rhyme for meaning. Thank you very much for your compliments and this review.
