Holocaust
Vers Beaucoup85 total reviews
Comment from Victoria...
I love the style. I was trying to figure out if there was a pattern, but had to check the author notes. It reads like really good rap! And to me, usually, "good rap" is an oxymoron.
The poem works too but I have to admit, the form fascinated me as much as the poem.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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I love the style. I was trying to figure out if there was a pattern, but had to check the author notes. It reads like really good rap! And to me, usually, "good rap" is an oxymoron.
The poem works too but I have to admit, the form fascinated me as much as the poem.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Thank you! I too, believe in the oxymoron you stated, so it is quite an honor to me you would enjoy it.
Thank you again,
Curt
Comment from Alexander E Poet
You are absolutely ridth, and I love it! Excellent, truly excellent write!Beautifully put, a wakeup call for our world today. mistakes well done.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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You are absolutely ridth, and I love it! Excellent, truly excellent write!Beautifully put, a wakeup call for our world today. mistakes well done.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Being a Taurus, I can be a "little" stubborn in my rhythm and rhyme. This is a different style for me, so I am very happy you enjoyed this write.
Curt
Comment from Lady Waukesha
The best writing is like this--it comes out of nowhere and is totally organic. Wonderful work, it is truly inspired--even the picture!
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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The best writing is like this--it comes out of nowhere and is totally organic. Wonderful work, it is truly inspired--even the picture!
Comment Written 10-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Thank you! I am truly honored. Your comments and rating made my day.
Curt
Comment from Judian James
Wow. That was an understatement when you said this wasn't your usual write. Very well done. I loved the rhymed pattern. This was horrifying and true and very well presented
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Wow. That was an understatement when you said this wasn't your usual write. Very well done. I loved the rhymed pattern. This was horrifying and true and very well presented
Comment Written 10-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Jude,
Thank you! It was a departure from the norm for me, and it pleases me to no end that you enjoyed the reading. I may try another one, in a lighter vein.
Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment from daimaou
Excellent except "you" doesn't rhyme with "view", or have I got it wrong? That's in the last line of second stanza. I can't any word that's even close to rhyming with "view" so I suspect you might be trying to get "you" rhyme with "view".
It's very powerful.
It reminded me of one poem by Martin Niemoller:
"First they came for the Communists,
and I didn?t speak up,
because I wasn?t a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn?t speak up,
because I wasn?t a Jew.
Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn?t speak up,
because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me,
and by that time there was no one
left to speak up for me."
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Excellent except "you" doesn't rhyme with "view", or have I got it wrong? That's in the last line of second stanza. I can't any word that's even close to rhyming with "view" so I suspect you might be trying to get "you" rhyme with "view".
It's very powerful.
It reminded me of one poem by Martin Niemoller:
"First they came for the Communists,
and I didn?t speak up,
because I wasn?t a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn?t speak up,
because I wasn?t a Jew.
Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn?t speak up,
because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me,
and by that time there was no one
left to speak up for me."
Comment Written 10-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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You are absolutely right on the similarty. I wanted to somehow capture that work within the body of my work. Thank you for seeing that.
As for the you and view rhyme, it matches perfectly because where I'm from, view is prononced- v-you.
Thanks again,
Curt
Comment from ledford
Good job:-) What an interesting picture.
I like these last lines best:
"A case the human race can't face,
in a place close to war, the whore,
the infected sore on our back we attack
till we crack, giving in to the sin."
Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Good job:-) What an interesting picture.
I like these last lines best:
"A case the human race can't face,
in a place close to war, the whore,
the infected sore on our back we attack
till we crack, giving in to the sin."
Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 10-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Thank you for your kind r&r.
Curt
Comment from teafor2
Curt Mongold--This rap-like quatrain belies its
apt depiction of the artrocities of war;
"Train ride to genocide, go inside,
bodies fried, tombs to share the stinking air,
bones are bare, burnt skin sags in body bags,
soldier gags, guts spill, vultures fill."
The narcissistic leadership;
"So discreet, the deceit is complete.
In the street no one knows how it goes
till it shows, way too late, no debate.
Sealed our fate with a pen and men. "
Beguiling all via words like WMDs, apathy, patriotism
and disloyalty;
"They would come for some in the slum,
Playing dumb, we defend not a friend.
In the end no one's here, shed a tear
to fear, when it's you in view. "
Reciprocity and greed for oil (or some other
spoils);
"A case the human race can't face,
in a place close to war, the whore,
the infected sore on our back we attack
till we crack, giving in to the sin."
Sorry if I mistated your intentions for this bold
and candid write. teafor2
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Curt Mongold--This rap-like quatrain belies its
apt depiction of the artrocities of war;
"Train ride to genocide, go inside,
bodies fried, tombs to share the stinking air,
bones are bare, burnt skin sags in body bags,
soldier gags, guts spill, vultures fill."
The narcissistic leadership;
"So discreet, the deceit is complete.
In the street no one knows how it goes
till it shows, way too late, no debate.
Sealed our fate with a pen and men. "
Beguiling all via words like WMDs, apathy, patriotism
and disloyalty;
"They would come for some in the slum,
Playing dumb, we defend not a friend.
In the end no one's here, shed a tear
to fear, when it's you in view. "
Reciprocity and greed for oil (or some other
spoils);
"A case the human race can't face,
in a place close to war, the whore,
the infected sore on our back we attack
till we crack, giving in to the sin."
Sorry if I mistated your intentions for this bold
and candid write. teafor2
Comment Written 10-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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I believe you have it, except for the last one. It was meant to show the futility of trying to stop genocide and war in a world based on greed.
Thanks again for your comments,
Curt
Comment from Nanny 6
I gave away all my sixes, so I'm giving you a ten on this one. Excellent peom about the Hollicost, you didn't miss a thing. The rhyme and rhythm flowed exceptionally well. Judy
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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I gave away all my sixes, so I'm giving you a ten on this one. Excellent peom about the Hollicost, you didn't miss a thing. The rhyme and rhythm flowed exceptionally well. Judy
Comment Written 10-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Oh well, I gues I'll take a ten if I have to!
You honor me with your comments. I really do appreciate it.
Curt
Comment from shy1250
Kudos! Indeed, we must never forget... All those innocent souls, could it be one of their unborn was to discover the cure for cancer and AIDS, another to lead the world to peace, yet another to discover a successful oil substitute. I become so angry with those loud voices who would deny this happened. My father was assigned to Germany immediately after the
war, he did not free the camps but saw the starving children who had just barely survived, their parents had already been gassed butnot them yet. No spag, thank u for calling attention to this tragedy! shy
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Kudos! Indeed, we must never forget... All those innocent souls, could it be one of their unborn was to discover the cure for cancer and AIDS, another to lead the world to peace, yet another to discover a successful oil substitute. I become so angry with those loud voices who would deny this happened. My father was assigned to Germany immediately after the
war, he did not free the camps but saw the starving children who had just barely survived, their parents had already been gassed butnot them yet. No spag, thank u for calling attention to this tragedy! shy
Comment Written 10-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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It must have been a terrible thing for your father to see.
Thank you for your thoughtful review and kind rating.
Curt
Comment from PoesyPoet
How true this piece is Curt. The holocaust was a horrible stain on our history like many other attempts at mass genocide through the ages.
The poem, if wasn't so serious in content, would have been fun in a lighter piece as well.
I like the interior rhyme. Good job
PP
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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How true this piece is Curt. The holocaust was a horrible stain on our history like many other attempts at mass genocide through the ages.
The poem, if wasn't so serious in content, would have been fun in a lighter piece as well.
I like the interior rhyme. Good job
PP
Comment Written 10-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2008
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Thank you! I may try a lighter work in this format later. I appreciate your comments.
Sincerely,
Curt
