American Aggression
An abcedarian36 total reviews
Comment from Tussle
Wow! I can say I do not feel qualified to review this poem. I will however, give this my best with the tools I am gathering.
This is the first Abecedarian I have read.
The subject matter is powerful, and stated succinctly with the 26 words that are allowed. You have managed to get your view across within the twenty-six words. Very poignant, and quite powerful.
The lay out of the poem is wonderful! The choices you have made in where to turn the line simply adds to the power of this poem. The punctuation also works well, and assist the reader with understanding and grasping.
I appreciate the definition of the words you have in your comments. I had not seen 'jaundiced' used in this context.
Wonderful piece! Tussle
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
  |
Wow! I can say I do not feel qualified to review this poem. I will however, give this my best with the tools I am gathering.
This is the first Abecedarian I have read.
The subject matter is powerful, and stated succinctly with the 26 words that are allowed. You have managed to get your view across within the twenty-six words. Very poignant, and quite powerful.
The lay out of the poem is wonderful! The choices you have made in where to turn the line simply adds to the power of this poem. The punctuation also works well, and assist the reader with understanding and grasping.
I appreciate the definition of the words you have in your comments. I had not seen 'jaundiced' used in this context.
Wonderful piece! Tussle
Comment Written 29-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
-
Thank you for an incredibly kind review.
Comment from carolm5415
This is really well written. The Afghanistan and Iraq wars seem to be producing many poems and essays lately. I hope our governments are reading! No changes in this great abcedarian.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
|
This is really well written. The Afghanistan and Iraq wars seem to be producing many poems and essays lately. I hope our governments are reading! No changes in this great abcedarian.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
-
Thank you for such a kind review.
Comment from Kentucky Sweet Pea
excellent, my friend, most excellent. it's great to see you out and about on the poetry side of things. as always, you teach with your writing. super job(s)!
your friend,
penny
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
|
excellent, my friend, most excellent. it's great to see you out and about on the poetry side of things. as always, you teach with your writing. super job(s)!
your friend,
penny
Comment Written 29-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
-
Thank you for your very kind comments.
Comment from grassroots08
Thank you for the definitions. I was struggling in my ignorance through this piece. It is my opinion that it was too difficult for me to give it an honest evaluation. I will leave this to the more learned, but I am learning still.grassroots08
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
 |
Thank you for the definitions. I was struggling in my ignorance through this piece. It is my opinion that it was too difficult for me to give it an honest evaluation. I will leave this to the more learned, but I am learning still.grassroots08
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
-
Thank you for the review; the best way to learn to review is to learn what the publishing houses want--many publish what they are looking for, and just to keep doing it.
Comment from Adam Smith
I can see nothing wrong with this poem and I do think there is a creative use of the words in proper order. Aside from the challenge of writing something in so restrictive a form, I wonder what this form really lends itself to. This poem, were it less restricted, could have really soared. It's almost too brief and again, due to the form, reads almost like a telegram. This poem has a lot to say, but the form does more harm than good, in my opinion. I hope that makes sense, and it's not really a crticism of the poem, more my opinion as to this particular form. And before I knock the form any further, I will attempt one soon, so as to better understand it. Respectfully, Adam
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
|
I can see nothing wrong with this poem and I do think there is a creative use of the words in proper order. Aside from the challenge of writing something in so restrictive a form, I wonder what this form really lends itself to. This poem, were it less restricted, could have really soared. It's almost too brief and again, due to the form, reads almost like a telegram. This poem has a lot to say, but the form does more harm than good, in my opinion. I hope that makes sense, and it's not really a crticism of the poem, more my opinion as to this particular form. And before I knock the form any further, I will attempt one soon, so as to better understand it. Respectfully, Adam
Comment Written 29-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
-
Abecedarians force one to be laconic. I used to be very verbose until I studied Japanese poetry. That study taught me how to use a modicum of words. Thanks for the good review.
-
I'm going to give this form some effort, as I said, but want to more so now after your reply. Thanks. Sincerely, Adam (promise not to 2-star me when I do?) - Yes, I'm kidding.
Comment from jshep
Amazing accomplishment that you were able to do this poem and have it basically, minus a dictionary, able to still get your point and the tone of your point across to the reader. I understood what you were trying to say, I just did not know the definitions to put to some of the words. Who said we could learn new things on Fanstory. Your work is definitely more geared to academia, but that does not mean we of average intellilect cannot be challenged and appreciate what you have written. Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
|
Amazing accomplishment that you were able to do this poem and have it basically, minus a dictionary, able to still get your point and the tone of your point across to the reader. I understood what you were trying to say, I just did not know the definitions to put to some of the words. Who said we could learn new things on Fanstory. Your work is definitely more geared to academia, but that does not mean we of average intellilect cannot be challenged and appreciate what you have written. Well done.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
-
Thank you for understanding my audience. I try to appeal to the hoi polloi as well as to the intelligentsia. Thanks for a good review.
Comment from Annmuma
This is the saddest poem I've ever read because it is too, too true. I'm on my way to the voting booth now. Good luck in the contest. ann
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
|
This is the saddest poem I've ever read because it is too, too true. I'm on my way to the voting booth now. Good luck in the contest. ann
Comment Written 28-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
-
Thank you. There is no other word for "war" but "sad." Thanks for the confidence in my work.
Comment from Falafa
A marvel to read. A treasure to learn. A truth revealed. Thank you so much for writing it, posting it and for your patient explanation of its construction.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
|
A marvel to read. A treasure to learn. A truth revealed. Thank you so much for writing it, posting it and for your patient explanation of its construction.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
-
You're welcome. I would say I enjoyed writing it, but it was what the Japanese call "yugen", beauty tinged with sadness. Thanks for the good review.
Comment from malachi1206
Good use of letters of the alphabet good word usage logical put together well and articulate and artistic it was fun to read and I liked the use of "zeitgeist"-time ghost malachi1206
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
|
Good use of letters of the alphabet good word usage logical put together well and articulate and artistic it was fun to read and I liked the use of "zeitgeist"-time ghost malachi1206
Comment Written 28-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
-
Thank you. You are very kind. Thanks for the good review.
Comment from Auntie Pat
There is always something to learn on FanStory, and this is the first time I have seen this style. Well done, not an easy task to go through the alphabet like this and write a poem that makes sense!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
|
There is always something to learn on FanStory, and this is the first time I have seen this style. Well done, not an easy task to go through the alphabet like this and write a poem that makes sense!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
-
Ah yes, it took me quite a while to come up with the X, Y, and Z words. Thanks for a great review.
