Reviews from

A child's fear

Childhood fears

55 total reviews 
Comment from Moira's Amethyst
Excellent
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Now, this one was impressive. I wish I could rate it with more than just a five but for some strange reason it's not allowing me. If I didn't yet use my sixes...I wonder what's going on? I love the layers of horror in this piece and your couplet measured up to the over all thought you instilled in the 3 quatrains before. I am glad I took the time search out your portfolio. Exceptional! ******

Poetry's Protege

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2008


reply by the author on 22-Nov-2008
    I think because I wrote it in a different month you can't give it six stars. Thanks for an excellent review.
Comment from daizylublue
Excellent
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Nice work, congrats on the win. It reads well and no errors. Childhood fears are the worst. Something under the bed. I didn't sleep for years after I saw Poltergeist. That clown under the bed has to be every kids worst nightmare. Thanks for sharing your lovely poem!

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2008
    Thank you for your kind words. Yes, that contest was very tight until the very end.
Comment from fluffyroroPlayer
Excellent
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Your poem tell a great truth. Who does tell children about all the scary things kids think about? Was it the "not me" person who resides within us all? I hated to have my own children be afraid of anything in the dark. They never had night lights but I did leave their doors open so they could hear us when they partially woke from their dreams. It seemed to work. You have written a very good poem.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
    Thank you for your very kind and understanding review.
Comment from becky7777
Excellent
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Very nice English sonnet. I think you have captured the monster under the bed or in the closet. very good entry for the contest. good luck
Becky

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
    Thank you for a very good review. I truly appreciate it.
Comment from Janilou
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A fantastic poem, Al. It is brilliantly written. Very well done. No errors at all. I stand in awe of your talent.
I can relate to the content also.
Jan

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
    Thank you for the review and especially for the six stars. Coming from such a fine writer as yourself, I am truly honored.
Comment from Judian James
Excellent
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Oh, Alvin, were you scared by all the horrid little creatures in many of our children's stories as kids? Some of Grimm's really were Grimm! Sad but well written with a wonderful flow and of course, perfect for the Fear contest. Good luck!

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
    Thank you so much. Yes, I was frightened by many of the Grimm's brother's tale, but when I learned German in college and grad school (I have learned it four times and forgotten it three) and read them in the original German, I was REALLY scared. Thanks for a great review.
reply by Judian James on 22-Feb-2008
    They believed back when those were written, that children should be scared out of their shoes so they would behave! Children's books today are so charming and sweet.
Comment from Rx kingpen
Excellent
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Fantastic sonnet, Alvin. You have the form mastered. It reads with ease while depicting the beasts that have been implanted in the fertile mind. Fits the picture and contest matter perfectly. Good write.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2008
    Thanks for such a great review. I truly appreciate it.
Comment from Mischief's Momma
Excellent
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Technically spot on for the sonnet form, although more usually it would be written with no extra line spacing as a fourteen line stanza.

Your concluding couplet was a little confusing, maybe on purpose? Are the ghoulies, ghosties and long leggedy beasties part of you? Or did you mean those that put the evil thoughts into children's heads are part of you?

A very enjoyable poem nevertheless!

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
    Yes, I have seen sonnets published both way. The concluding couplet means to say that the stories that people tell children about scary creatures are often internalized by the children, and they believe themselves not to be good. It's a controversial psychological theory.
reply by Mischief's Momma on 22-Feb-2008
    Those theories are always fun to dabble in poetically.
Comment from drivenbackward
Excellent
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Liked the message you're sending. Not something you read about often.

I know you intend the capital letters to begin each line, but based on the way the thoughts flow from one line to the next, it was disruptive for me.


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
    Yes, I thought about that. I wasn't sure what to do on that one. Usually published sonnets (at least in my experience) capitalize the first letter of every line. I'll ponder that before I send it off for publication, if I do. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from m723d
Excellent
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Nice poem. I can see how the words go with the illustration. The structure is good. The phrasing is good. The little girl look scared in the illustration. Your words describe her feelings.Good job!

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2008


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2008
    Thanks for a great review. I truly appreciate it.