The seven twenty-four to Cannon St.
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "In a moment"Tales of commuting by train
23 total reviews
Comment from Honus X Heppablatte
This was a great write, tightly woven and well executed. This one was written down with grace and aplomb. This was a pleasure to have read and reviewed, thanks for posting it here at fanstory
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2007
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This was a great write, tightly woven and well executed. This one was written down with grace and aplomb. This was a pleasure to have read and reviewed, thanks for posting it here at fanstory
Comment Written 19-Oct-2007
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2007
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Well, thank you for reading it. May I compliment you on your excellent good taste.
Comment from BANJO
Gripping.
And horribly plausible.
Great switch of viewpoint throughout. And characterisation. You've engendered sympathy for all your characters. Even the 'baddies' aren't all bad!
All the best for the contest.
Banjo
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2007
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Gripping.
And horribly plausible.
Great switch of viewpoint throughout. And characterisation. You've engendered sympathy for all your characters. Even the 'baddies' aren't all bad!
All the best for the contest.
Banjo
Comment Written 19-Oct-2007
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2007
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You're very kind, thank you
Comment from mmichelle97219
You are such a fabulous writer. I was drawn in and taken on such a scray horrible ride. I was screaming like an idiot at the screen. See what you did? Good luck in the contest. You got my vote. Multiple points of view, great sensory details and just enough realism to mkae me cringe.
Michelle
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2007
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You are such a fabulous writer. I was drawn in and taken on such a scray horrible ride. I was screaming like an idiot at the screen. See what you did? Good luck in the contest. You got my vote. Multiple points of view, great sensory details and just enough realism to mkae me cringe.
Michelle
Comment Written 17-Oct-2007
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2007
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Thank you. I'm not sure I've made someone scream at the screen before, not without pictures, anyway.
Glad you liked it
Comment from duckylamour
This is excellent and kept me riveted to the story. Very real and vivid in the descriptions and very tragic with the young boy being used to further the goals of the terrorists. Reading this is like seeing it, its that graphic.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2007
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This is excellent and kept me riveted to the story. Very real and vivid in the descriptions and very tragic with the young boy being used to further the goals of the terrorists. Reading this is like seeing it, its that graphic.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2007
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2007
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You're very kind. Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it
Comment from thorney
Hi again. Harrowing. I think we have more to come. And, I don't think Moslem Fundamentalist fanatics will concern themselves with phone calls. Well written, full of tension. I have nothing to offer in the way of improvement.
Regards Pete.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2007
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Hi again. Harrowing. I think we have more to come. And, I don't think Moslem Fundamentalist fanatics will concern themselves with phone calls. Well written, full of tension. I have nothing to offer in the way of improvement.
Regards Pete.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2007
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2007
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Um... With names like Sean and Padraig, they weren't Muslims. The IRA and their splinter groups would usually phone in warnings during the troubles. This worked quite well, as they could sell the acts as targetted at property and 'military' objects (i.e. police and army), they could phone in hoax calls and achieve almost as much chaos and disruption, and they could increase the terror of the populace.
Terrorism has been around for decades and decades. I have been under it's shadow for much of my life, but even back to the forties with, say, the bombing of English buildings in Palestine.
But yes, it was a little more serious than my usual fluff. Thank you for reading it and for your generous review.
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Yeah, I realised you were writting about the Irish aspect - which for all intents and pupose has deminished now. When I refered to the Moslems - I was refering to the current threat of terrorism.
Regards P
Comment from venusanblue
A harrowing story.
Very well written. We saw from all sides.
Its a really good read,feeling each ones emotions. The bombers, the victims, the parents of the victims, the government and police.
Very well done. LOvedit, V,xx
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2007
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A harrowing story.
Very well written. We saw from all sides.
Its a really good read,feeling each ones emotions. The bombers, the victims, the parents of the victims, the government and police.
Very well done. LOvedit, V,xx
Comment Written 16-Oct-2007
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2007
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked it
Comment from dip-a-dee-do
Very sad story..
The things people make other people do is really ....
This piece held me all the way through...
This piece was very easy to read and to understand..
I like the way you wrote both sides of the story..
Great write..
Donna
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2007
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Very sad story..
The things people make other people do is really ....
This piece held me all the way through...
This piece was very easy to read and to understand..
I like the way you wrote both sides of the story..
Great write..
Donna
Comment Written 16-Oct-2007
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2007
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You're very kind. I'm glad you liked it
Comment from Morning Glory
This was a good little story. Sad, in what they forced the child to do, but well
written, gripping the reader and holding throughout the story. I was especially
glad when the child remembered that the fathers taught him the value of
confessing. Excellent. Good Luck in the Contest.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2007
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This was a good little story. Sad, in what they forced the child to do, but well
written, gripping the reader and holding throughout the story. I was especially
glad when the child remembered that the fathers taught him the value of
confessing. Excellent. Good Luck in the Contest.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2007
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2007
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You're very kind. I'm not sure I saw Padraig as a child, at least not physically, but he certainly was child-like.
Thank you for your review and good wishes
Comment from Cairn Destop
Oh if only the guilty would do this. Pity they don't. An interesting tale of how an extremist actions go wrong. Liked the way you gave us both a view of the villians and the victim. Minor SPAG, though I did recognize/recognise the use of British English.
For God's sake, sit down, you idjit = idiot
they'll lock you up for ever = forever
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2007
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Oh if only the guilty would do this. Pity they don't. An interesting tale of how an extremist actions go wrong. Liked the way you gave us both a view of the villians and the victim. Minor SPAG, though I did recognize/recognise the use of British English.
For God's sake, sit down, you idjit = idiot
they'll lock you up for ever = forever
Comment Written 16-Oct-2007
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2007
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Idjit is the Irish version of idiot, and has become a seperate word in it's own right after being used by Irish in the English media.
Funnily enough, I am yet again proof-reading the thing and had just spotted the forever spag.
Thanks for your generous review, and I'm glad you found it interesting.
Comment from winnie
Hello snodlander.
This is a very good piece of writing.
You capture the scene very well.
The horror can be felt with the young boy's arm.
I am so glad that these terrible events are nearly all gone.
Love winnie.xx Padraig
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2007
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Hello snodlander.
This is a very good piece of writing.
You capture the scene very well.
The horror can be felt with the young boy's arm.
I am so glad that these terrible events are nearly all gone.
Love winnie.xx Padraig
Comment Written 16-Oct-2007
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2007
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Yep, I've been told about my mispelling and will get round to correcting it.
It means a lot to hear a review from an Irish reader. I was nervous posting this, afraid I would be labelled a racist or some such, or that my dialogue was stereotyped. I must admit, as an Englishman, I was struck by just how stereotypical people's speech was when I visited Dublin a couple of times. And though I wrote of London, it being what I know, I realise both sides committed such obscenities.
Thank you for your generous review.
