Challenge Me
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Side~By~Side"I dare you....
12 total reviews
Comment from CarolinasAngel
This is great, Shelley. Not only does it fit your style - it's fits within the minds of many readers - like me. Nothing here to change or suggest... I enjoyed the read!
Candy
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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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This is great, Shelley. Not only does it fit your style - it's fits within the minds of many readers - like me. Nothing here to change or suggest... I enjoyed the read!
Candy
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Comment Written 03-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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thank you so much! :-)
Comment from luna
Pixie - the picture is outstanding and you rose to meet this challenge very well. The last line - "Sadly cheerful" is my personal favorite. It's been awhile since I've read one of your challenge poems -- too long! Was nice to read this Sunday morning. Have a great day.
Your friend,
J
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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Pixie - the picture is outstanding and you rose to meet this challenge very well. The last line - "Sadly cheerful" is my personal favorite. It's been awhile since I've read one of your challenge poems -- too long! Was nice to read this Sunday morning. Have a great day.
Your friend,
J
Comment Written 03-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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took me awhile to write this one
i knew what i wanted to say
just not how lol
thanx lots for great review! :-)
Comment from rl dubour
Side~By~Side -- so you really asking for my opinion here eh, well it seems to me that there was much unhappiness in this work, the darkside as your notes say, and then as you digest this whole work one will see the brightside so lvoing math the way I do- it came out about 50/50 now to me that always equaled half so we take half and I would finally conclude you have done GREAT, RON
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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Side~By~Side -- so you really asking for my opinion here eh, well it seems to me that there was much unhappiness in this work, the darkside as your notes say, and then as you digest this whole work one will see the brightside so lvoing math the way I do- it came out about 50/50 now to me that always equaled half so we take half and I would finally conclude you have done GREAT, RON
Comment Written 03-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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LOL!!
thanx lots! :-)
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welcome :)---by the way----HAVE A GREAT DAY!
Comment from Lady & Louis
Interesting! It certainly did bring dark and light together - though I found the dark predominated. It would repay a second reading, but that will have to wait because of my one and only criticism: American Uncial is a beautiful script, but at that size, in white on black, I COULDN'T READ IT. Sorry about the caps there, had to emphasise it! :) I had to copy the whole poem into the reviewer's notepad to read it at all. It was simply illegible, which is a crying shame because it does look lovely.
Cheers
La Maitresse
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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Interesting! It certainly did bring dark and light together - though I found the dark predominated. It would repay a second reading, but that will have to wait because of my one and only criticism: American Uncial is a beautiful script, but at that size, in white on black, I COULDN'T READ IT. Sorry about the caps there, had to emphasise it! :) I had to copy the whole poem into the reviewer's notepad to read it at all. It was simply illegible, which is a crying shame because it does look lovely.
Cheers
La Maitresse
Comment Written 03-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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hmm interesting
what is 'american unicial'?
the font type is 'cursive' (what i usually use 99% of the time lol)
will see what a larger font size looks like
thanx lots :-)
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"American Uncial" is just the name of that font, like "Times New Roman" or any of the other fonts. A larger point size would certainly help! :)
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okay changed the size
'tis better?
thanx :-)
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'tis lovely!
LM
Comment from marion
Well shelley kaye, what an awesome poem. Stunning picture art that falls into your words. Good unique use of words, woulda, shouda, coulda.....a very modern poem and I loved it. And a great ending, together, sadly cheerful. I loved it.
P/S Read all about you too, great presentation of yourself and some great accomplishments - congrats. Marion.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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Well shelley kaye, what an awesome poem. Stunning picture art that falls into your words. Good unique use of words, woulda, shouda, coulda.....a very modern poem and I loved it. And a great ending, together, sadly cheerful. I loved it.
P/S Read all about you too, great presentation of yourself and some great accomplishments - congrats. Marion.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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thank you so much :-)
Comment from gmarrs
We don't always show the world the truth about our feelings; we don't always know them ourselves. Everything has two sides, each the same size as the other but in different colors.
Very effectively written. The breaks might have been a bit long, but I really enjoyed the poem. I liked the contrast and I especially liked:
talking up a storm
about nothing
that is nothing
quiet and silent
about everything
that is
everything
Well put. gmarrs
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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We don't always show the world the truth about our feelings; we don't always know them ourselves. Everything has two sides, each the same size as the other but in different colors.
Very effectively written. The breaks might have been a bit long, but I really enjoyed the poem. I liked the contrast and I especially liked:
talking up a storm
about nothing
that is nothing
quiet and silent
about everything
that is
everything
Well put. gmarrs
Comment Written 03-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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yea actually i liked that part the best too
will look and see if i can do fewer breaks
thank you so much :-)
Comment from rivki1111
Hello...this was very well presented with the great graphic and style of publishing...I enjoyed the poem too....and it is a good idea...to have both sides of the coin...I recognized the Celine Dion line in there....'coulda woulda shoulda'...it is very catchy...and gives it a great beat...the whole poem flowed very well and I have no suggestions for making it better...thanks....rivki
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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Hello...this was very well presented with the great graphic and style of publishing...I enjoyed the poem too....and it is a good idea...to have both sides of the coin...I recognized the Celine Dion line in there....'coulda woulda shoulda'...it is very catchy...and gives it a great beat...the whole poem flowed very well and I have no suggestions for making it better...thanks....rivki
Comment Written 03-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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that's a celine song? cool!
thank you so much :-)
Comment from Fizzie
Loved the message.....liked the words. You deffinately sent a strong message in your poem.
I might make a suggestion though....It seemed as if you switched several times with your style. I think readers have an easier time following poems if the flow stays steady. Now, that's not to say each section has to have the same amt of words or syllables.....Just the flow seemed, well just a little off to me.
I felt you. Been there myself......Kind of like the double edged sword. But I think you could revise it and make it more powerful.
Good luck to you and keep on writing!!!
Fizzie
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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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Loved the message.....liked the words. You deffinately sent a strong message in your poem.
I might make a suggestion though....It seemed as if you switched several times with your style. I think readers have an easier time following poems if the flow stays steady. Now, that's not to say each section has to have the same amt of words or syllables.....Just the flow seemed, well just a little off to me.
I felt you. Been there myself......Kind of like the double edged sword. But I think you could revise it and make it more powerful.
Good luck to you and keep on writing!!!
Fizzie
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Comment Written 03-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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hmmm good points
will see what i can do
thanx lots :-)
Comment from mslink1
This is very artistically done. The picture and white on black is well in favor of your words. I love this concept of black and white. Happy, sad...laughing outside while crying inwardly. It's just plainly a beautiful touching, well written poem. Mary
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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This is very artistically done. The picture and white on black is well in favor of your words. I love this concept of black and white. Happy, sad...laughing outside while crying inwardly. It's just plainly a beautiful touching, well written poem. Mary
Comment Written 03-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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thank you so much :-)
Comment from Marjorie D.
It's true. We are duplicitous creatures. Smile on the outside while you're crying on the inside. Cry on the outside while you're secretly cheering inside. Aren't we nasty. It's how a lot of people make it through this world. It's a shame.
Nice job, shelley kaye!
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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It's true. We are duplicitous creatures. Smile on the outside while you're crying on the inside. Cry on the outside while you're secretly cheering inside. Aren't we nasty. It's how a lot of people make it through this world. It's a shame.
Nice job, shelley kaye!
Comment Written 03-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2006
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lol
thank you so much :-)
