Silent Voices
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "April Rain"Verses of personification
9 total reviews
Comment from BermyBye50
Jessica,
Congrats on winning the Spring Tanka Contest. Your entry painted a beautiful picture of Nature's enduring life cycle that sustains all life on Earth.
I would suggest the following two changes:
touched by a warm sun
the soil stirs awake in thirst~ [in thirst to athirst]
morning blue wears gray
full clouds release heavy rains [heavy rains to weighty rains]
nursing life back into earth
All the best,
Eugene
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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Jessica,
Congrats on winning the Spring Tanka Contest. Your entry painted a beautiful picture of Nature's enduring life cycle that sustains all life on Earth.
I would suggest the following two changes:
touched by a warm sun
the soil stirs awake in thirst~ [in thirst to athirst]
morning blue wears gray
full clouds release heavy rains [heavy rains to weighty rains]
nursing life back into earth
All the best,
Eugene
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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Eugene, thank you. Your suggestions are excellent and I'm very grateful for them. I will revisit with them in mind!
Thank you so much!
Jess
Comment from LoAnn Beery
Lovely description of a complete cycle of weather in the spring. I remember when we studied weather; the drawing on the chalkboard of the sun, the rain and the cycle of life. Your words were spot/on.
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Lovely description of a complete cycle of weather in the spring. I remember when we studied weather; the drawing on the chalkboard of the sun, the rain and the cycle of life. Your words were spot/on.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Thank you so much, LoAnn! Xoxo
Comment from zanya
Yes a poetic reflection on an essential aspect of the Spring season as the earth, watered by revivifying rain, reawakens - and a super visual to illustrate
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Yes a poetic reflection on an essential aspect of the Spring season as the earth, watered by revivifying rain, reawakens - and a super visual to illustrate
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
Comment from Idawiesenfeld
It's really good! I love how the picture you chose reflected so well with your tanka. I like how you used a metaphor to explain how the soil needs water and the beautiful imagery you included. Well done!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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It's really good! I love how the picture you chose reflected so well with your tanka. I like how you used a metaphor to explain how the soil needs water and the beautiful imagery you included. Well done!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
Comment from Teri7
This is a very lovely spring tanka you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive words and very neat imagery from the artwork you chose. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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This is a very lovely spring tanka you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive words and very neat imagery from the artwork you chose. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
This entry for the Sprng Tanka contest is full of lush descriptions and imagery. My favorite line:
morning blue wears gray
The artwork works well with the printed words. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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This entry for the Sprng Tanka contest is full of lush descriptions and imagery. My favorite line:
morning blue wears gray
The artwork works well with the printed words. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
Comment from Sally Law
This is so lovely and my vote in the contest. Just beautiful in this tanka form which is one of my favorites. Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes in upcoming contest. Sally Law :))
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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This is so lovely and my vote in the contest. Just beautiful in this tanka form which is one of my favorites. Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes in upcoming contest. Sally Law :))
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
Comment from Mark Jackson
Thank you for entering my contest Tanka, I was unsure if this one would be popular. Each entry is like a gift to me. I get tired of endless requests for 5-7-5 poetry, so I thought I would ask for just a little bit more. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you for entering my contest Tanka, I was unsure if this one would be popular. Each entry is like a gift to me. I get tired of endless requests for 5-7-5 poetry, so I thought I would ask for just a little bit more. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your poem beautifully captures the cycle of life. I love your word choics such as the soil awakening in thirst, touched by the warmth of the sun. That is perfect. The transition from "morning blue" to "gray" as clouds gather hints at the impending rain. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Your poem beautifully captures the cycle of life. I love your word choics such as the soil awakening in thirst, touched by the warmth of the sun. That is perfect. The transition from "morning blue" to "gray" as clouds gather hints at the impending rain. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much! Xoxo
