Bees Fly
A day in a life.15 total reviews
Comment from Mark Jackson
The poem's language is rich and evocative, filled with vibrant imagery and vivid descriptions that come alive through the power of alliteration. The repetition of consonant sounds not only enhances the poem's musicality but also adds layers of meaning and depth, inviting readers to engage with the text on multiple levels.
One of the poem's standout qualities is its ability to create a sensory experience, transporting readers to a world where words dance and sing in harmonious unity. Your playful manipulation of language showcases a deep appreciation for the beauty and versatility of words, making it a joy to read.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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The poem's language is rich and evocative, filled with vibrant imagery and vivid descriptions that come alive through the power of alliteration. The repetition of consonant sounds not only enhances the poem's musicality but also adds layers of meaning and depth, inviting readers to engage with the text on multiple levels.
One of the poem's standout qualities is its ability to create a sensory experience, transporting readers to a world where words dance and sing in harmonious unity. Your playful manipulation of language showcases a deep appreciation for the beauty and versatility of words, making it a joy to read.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Hi Mark,
Thank you so much for your detailed and generous review. I appreciate it.
Comment from karenina
This is an evocative and ethereal free verse. Written with an emotional lilt of melancholy and a sense of the inevitability of loss.
Your use of alliteration is artfully sprinkled throughout...noticed with respect, but never overpowering.
"I watched a lone bee hovering,
busily fulfilling its destiny, unawares
it would soon be dead.
I envied its unknowing."
I felt just this way when my mother died...
A truly exceptional free verse.
I must fan you!
Karenina
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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This is an evocative and ethereal free verse. Written with an emotional lilt of melancholy and a sense of the inevitability of loss.
Your use of alliteration is artfully sprinkled throughout...noticed with respect, but never overpowering.
"I watched a lone bee hovering,
busily fulfilling its destiny, unawares
it would soon be dead.
I envied its unknowing."
I felt just this way when my mother died...
A truly exceptional free verse.
I must fan you!
Karenina
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Hi Karenina,
Wow, thanks so much. I truly appreciate your words and generous rating.
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You're very welcome!
Comment from Boogienights
This is an interesting and well written free verse. It created a melancholy mood, while at the same time, painted a vivid picture in the readers mind. My favorite line is about envying the bee not knowing of his short lifespan. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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This is an interesting and well written free verse. It created a melancholy mood, while at the same time, painted a vivid picture in the readers mind. My favorite line is about envying the bee not knowing of his short lifespan. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Thank you for reviewing and your kind comments :)
Comment from Lisasview
Nice poem for your entry in the Free Verse poem contest.
I wish you the very best of luck.
I did enjoy the read.
Lisasview now living in Spain and living it
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Nice poem for your entry in the Free Verse poem contest.
I wish you the very best of luck.
I did enjoy the read.
Lisasview now living in Spain and living it
Comment Written 21-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Lisa.
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You are welcome
Lisa
Comment from Natureschild
Your poem skilfully navigates themes of contemplation, loss, and the passage of time through vivid imagery and the use of descriptive language, such as "thin, grey shade of the past" and "Yesterday eyes," which creates a vivid picture of Grandpa's final moments. Nice alliteration with "Waiting, wishing, wanting".
Thank you for sharing. - Terry
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Your poem skilfully navigates themes of contemplation, loss, and the passage of time through vivid imagery and the use of descriptive language, such as "thin, grey shade of the past" and "Yesterday eyes," which creates a vivid picture of Grandpa's final moments. Nice alliteration with "Waiting, wishing, wanting".
Thank you for sharing. - Terry
Comment Written 21-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Terry. I appreciate your considered and generous review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from royowen
We have a bee hive in the foundations of our house. I think both ants and bees could teach us humans a thing or two about social harmony and mutual trust, the individual prepared to sacrifice for the good of the colony. They are the ultimate pragmatists. This is beautifully written, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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We have a bee hive in the foundations of our house. I think both ants and bees could teach us humans a thing or two about social harmony and mutual trust, the individual prepared to sacrifice for the good of the colony. They are the ultimate pragmatists. This is beautifully written, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Roy, yes, nature always gets it right yet we humans think we're the intelligent ones!
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Absolutely
Comment from Brenda Strauser
I enjoyed reading your poem. It was well written. I like the words : butterflies join with angels. Picture goes nicely with your words. Last summer, I had a bee stung me in the eye lid. It hurt quit a bit. Great job
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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I enjoyed reading your poem. It was well written. I like the words : butterflies join with angels. Picture goes nicely with your words. Last summer, I had a bee stung me in the eye lid. It hurt quit a bit. Great job
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thank you for your review, Brenda.
Comment from nomi338
Sometime, heck, probably most time, the worst part is waiting for inevitable to occur. You know that it will, you just don't know when. Sometimes you don't know when, or where, maybe why, but you do know that it is going to happen. You are trapped in time waiting. That is some hard time to get through. You did an excellent job of describing it in prose.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Sometime, heck, probably most time, the worst part is waiting for inevitable to occur. You know that it will, you just don't know when. Sometimes you don't know when, or where, maybe why, but you do know that it is going to happen. You are trapped in time waiting. That is some hard time to get through. You did an excellent job of describing it in prose.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Nomi. I really appreciate your review and, yes, some experiences are very hard to get through.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Hi Shirley, lovely to meet a fellow Brit! I really loved this! It has a hint of Dylan Thomas about it and is full of evocative atmosphere and perceptive detail. I think I would describe it as dreamy and meditative. I can almost hear the clock ticking and I like the way you throw in a suggestion that something is about to happen, adding a layer of mystery to it all. Inanimate objects (e.g. the rocking chair, wallpaper etc) seem to come alive and the reader is carried along on this gentle journey of nostalgia blending with the present. Excellent alliteration and the most beautiful description of the sky: vacant white, hung low like a notice board/waiting for words from God or someone. Aunt Clara's introduction (a sense of Dylan Thomas here) personalises the verse and gives it another focus. And then your last stanza on nature and a little philosophical twist. I wondered about the second to last line and the repetition of 'turns on.' It felt as if it should read Time turns on and tunes in. But this has so much to commend it. You should feel very proud. Debbie
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Hi Shirley, lovely to meet a fellow Brit! I really loved this! It has a hint of Dylan Thomas about it and is full of evocative atmosphere and perceptive detail. I think I would describe it as dreamy and meditative. I can almost hear the clock ticking and I like the way you throw in a suggestion that something is about to happen, adding a layer of mystery to it all. Inanimate objects (e.g. the rocking chair, wallpaper etc) seem to come alive and the reader is carried along on this gentle journey of nostalgia blending with the present. Excellent alliteration and the most beautiful description of the sky: vacant white, hung low like a notice board/waiting for words from God or someone. Aunt Clara's introduction (a sense of Dylan Thomas here) personalises the verse and gives it another focus. And then your last stanza on nature and a little philosophical twist. I wondered about the second to last line and the repetition of 'turns on.' It felt as if it should read Time turns on and tunes in. But this has so much to commend it. You should feel very proud. Debbie
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much, Debbie. It's lovely to get such a considered review and I think you're the first one who really 'got' this (which may not be good - you know what I mean).
Poetry is such a strange thing. It comes out and you're never sure who or if anyone will enjoy it. I actually loved this particular poem as it mainly wrote itself, but reactions have been mixed so I'm seriously doubting it. I think I took some of the emotions (in a very different setting) from the days my mum was dying. Maybe I shouldn't expect everybody to know what I'm going on about haha! Anyway, I'm rambling so I'll shut up.
Thank you again. I so appreciate it (and needed it :)
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I was going to say it sounded as if the words just flowed from you unstoppably which is a great skill and I envy you.
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Having had a quick scan of your work, you don't need to envy anyone, Debbie x
Comment from GWHARGIS
I found this poem such a walk through someone else's eyes. I watched as a place once filled with love and joy suddenly had halls that echoed loneliness and loss. The imagery was awesome and set the mood. I love how the bee and it's activities symbolized how life goes on. Great poem. Gretchen
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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I found this poem such a walk through someone else's eyes. I watched as a place once filled with love and joy suddenly had halls that echoed loneliness and loss. The imagery was awesome and set the mood. I love how the bee and it's activities symbolized how life goes on. Great poem. Gretchen
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Gretchen, for a great review.