Reviews from

Willing Hearts

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Willing Hearts Chapter 8"
Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?

31 total reviews 
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"door with hand" would read better as door with her hand.

The animals paragraph sort of reads like a laundry list. And, there are plenty of them for Sami to worry about.

"Tony, what's going?" should be Tony what's going on?

Seems Noah does not "have a lot of experience with relationships" and Sami is pushing buttons he does not know how to control.

Could Bob, going alone, be headed for a trap?

Plenty of action going on to move the storyline along.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the help. I have a horrible habit of leaving out the small words. When I edit, I tend to read the sentences as if those words are there. I know they're not. LOL I'm even attempting to search for it, now and still miss them. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Daylily
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A good chapter laying the groundwork for coming action. Just found this one place to make a correction:

"I've succeeded (in) upsetting him again."



 Comment Written 10-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review and help, I appreciate it.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Another excellent chapter of the Willing Hearts book.

Sami and Noah are getting closer and I'm glad they don't fight anymore.

I hope they are safe.

Gypsy

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
    They will still have a few skirmishes. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Excellent
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I don't notice things unless they are glaring. Usually a misspelled word. This is clipping right along. Everyone is getting along. This also can be dangerous. Good writing. Karen

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 11-Apr-2024
    :-)
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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The action is hotting up again in this chapter. Plenty of action and foreshadowing. I have a feeling it might not be long until there's a showdown. Looking forward to the next one.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
    A show down does happen but will take a while. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Are the baddies just being what they seem to be, Sami seems a little hard to read, I guess like some females, although my wife is pretty even natured with a gracious heart, but I can't get away with things that others can, she's a great Nannie, well done Barbara, grea episode, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
    Sami will continue to be Sami. She's a free spirit and doesn't always listen. My husband swears he can't get away with our boys did when they were home. I would remind him, of course, not you're an adult and should know better. He would disagree. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
reply by royowen on 10-Apr-2024
    I agree our mantles, he?s a parent and can be a friend, but primarily a parent.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I wonder if they are what they seem. Are the armed robbers looking for someone, and would it have anything to do with Sami? There's my brain working overtime, and getting it all wrong! Lol. Those girls for the dance will have to be careful. Let's home Sami' mum and friend will be able to do what Sami has asked them. I'm looking forward to the next part. Well done! Sandra xx

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Nicely done. This book is coming along nicely. Sounds like you got some trouble brewing on the horizon.

I like the characters and the dialogue. You are nailing it. Keep up the good work, my friend.
D

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the wonderful support.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What an interesting, creepy chapter. Just a couple OF hehe, spags to check!
table next to us a couple (of)men
I probably need to talk, but I'm not willing to[o]."

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the wonderful support.
Comment from Sharon Elwell
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

There are several picky things that may not need revision, but I want to point them out in case you have other readers with the same questions.

Some sentences were awkward, and required me to reread:
"He heard movement and her attempting..."
"He sighed when he studied the cabin lit up..."
"Only you hear this?"

Some had punctuation or grammar issues:
"I'm not willing too."
"reaching for her hand, but then stopped..." (verb agreement)
",,,pinochle game." needs a closing quotation mark
"Why don't we go for a walk." should have a question mark.

In describing the incident last night, the sentence, "We were letting off some steam" seems misplaced in the middle of the incident. See what you think.
I wasn't sure if Noah made all three speeches in the paragraph that starts, "Noah came up behind her."
Sami sat. Noah sat. Seems there might be better wording?
Looking forward to reading what happens next!

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
    I appreciate the help. Thank you. I make the necessary corrections.