A Few Steps
Two Line Haiku14 total reviews
Comment from karenina
I didn't know about the two-line haiku...but yours is captivating. It could be the first line of what I imagine would be a wonderful novel! I remember when I was in school (you know--when dinosaurs roamed the planet)--
Haiku were 5-7-5 and about nature. PERIOD! Hah! How far we've come!
(Great image too!)
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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I didn't know about the two-line haiku...but yours is captivating. It could be the first line of what I imagine would be a wonderful novel! I remember when I was in school (you know--when dinosaurs roamed the planet)--
Haiku were 5-7-5 and about nature. PERIOD! Hah! How far we've come!
(Great image too!)
Karenina
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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This was a haiku club entry .the prompt was to write 2 line 17 syllable or less haiku.Thank you for dropping by.
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I love the modern variations on Haiku.
They are all new to me, and I'm learning!
Comment from Deborah Dybowski
I like the use of...a few moonlit steps to describe the distance between us.
I have never seen a two line Haiku. How many syllables are required for
each line? I think the last line reads better if written, that stood rather
than "had stood."
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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I like the use of...a few moonlit steps to describe the distance between us.
I have never seen a two line Haiku. How many syllables are required for
each line? I think the last line reads better if written, that stood rather
than "had stood."
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Thank yoj for that suggestion I used had to indicate the steps were not taken .thank you for reading an reviewing.
Comment from Douglas Goff
This is a cute fun Haiku. I had no idea Haiku could be two lines! Awesome!
The font is a little difficult to read, but I also have bad eyes.
Good stuff!
D
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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This is a cute fun Haiku. I had no idea Haiku could be two lines! Awesome!
The font is a little difficult to read, but I also have bad eyes.
Good stuff!
D
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Thank you for stopping by. This is the first time I am hearing of a two line haiku.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
This is lovely, and the picture is wonderful. You told the whole story in those few lines, which is hard to do. I enjoyed your posting. The only thing I might change is the orange matting. I would have made it yellow. This is my opinion only. Karen
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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This is lovely, and the picture is wonderful. You told the whole story in those few lines, which is hard to do. I enjoyed your posting. The only thing I might change is the orange matting. I would have made it yellow. This is my opinion only. Karen
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Thank for stoping by .I will take more care for the background colour nowI i
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image and presentation, Sanku.
-A well written two line haiku with a good topic.
-Effective nature and seasonal imagery.
A very good opening line sets the scene.
-The second line is very good and allows
us to wonder if the steps were taken
or were they still too much to take?
-Very well done.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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-Very nice image and presentation, Sanku.
-A well written two line haiku with a good topic.
-Effective nature and seasonal imagery.
A very good opening line sets the scene.
-The second line is very good and allows
us to wonder if the steps were taken
or were they still too much to take?
-Very well done.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much.I intended that the steps were not taken...hence 'had'.
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You are very welcome, and thanks for sharing in your reply.
Comment from Mark Jackson
That is really good. I really like it. All I would advice is that I have seen others written and they staggered the second line by adding a few spaces. It works visually with two lines adding a natural break and forward step. Another little point I would lose the capital on that. These are little design point and not a criticism of your writing which I love.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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That is really good. I really like it. All I would advice is that I have seen others written and they staggered the second line by adding a few spaces. It works visually with two lines adding a natural break and forward step. Another little point I would lose the capital on that. These are little design point and not a criticism of your writing which I love.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the suggestions .something was wrong with advance editor .I was not able to change the capital .
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was like the best starting line to a novel, I think I've ever read. I liked your haiku. It hinted at so many different possibilities. It could have been lovers reunited, a parent and child, a killer and his victim. This just sent my story seeking mind into orbit. Beautiful and mysterious. Gretchen
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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This was like the best starting line to a novel, I think I've ever read. I liked your haiku. It hinted at so many different possibilities. It could have been lovers reunited, a parent and child, a killer and his victim. This just sent my story seeking mind into orbit. Beautiful and mysterious. Gretchen
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Hey you are right ! This.could make a good starting line for a story. I may try one or why don't you try ?you are very.good in story writing.Thats why your writers brain picked u that!
Comment from jessizero
This two-line haiku was lovely! I love the sentiment expressed in this poem. I can't tell you my favorite part because it was all great. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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This two-line haiku was lovely! I love the sentiment expressed in this poem. I can't tell you my favorite part because it was all great. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much for these extra.stars I am.sorry my reply was late .I am suffering from frozen shoulders so I was not able type.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an extremely intriguing Haiku. It seems to have rules that we are not used to, and I would have liked to have had these explained in the notes. However, as it is it reads very well and gives an interesting message. kay
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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This is an extremely intriguing Haiku. It seems to have rules that we are not used to, and I would have liked to have had these explained in the notes. However, as it is it reads very well and gives an interesting message. kay
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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It was a club entry.. Thanks for stopping by and sorry for the delayed reply ..health issues..
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, I like it! The first line sets the scene and the second one tells the story of the journey full of anticipation to close the distance between two who love each other!
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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Oh, I like it! The first line sets the scene and the second one tells the story of the journey full of anticipation to close the distance between two who love each other!
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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Thank you Helen .Sorry for replying so late..was not just up to it..
