Totems Parts I and II
A poem of climate change14 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
Not sure how I missed this one. There are many 'what ifs' in the second half; predictions that seem plausible on the evidence of the first half.
You have managed to create an eerie atmosphere of gradual decay and the disappearance of familiar things.
A powerful poem.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Not sure how I missed this one. There are many 'what ifs' in the second half; predictions that seem plausible on the evidence of the first half.
You have managed to create an eerie atmosphere of gradual decay and the disappearance of familiar things.
A powerful poem.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad you got to see this first part. I think it's a little more in your face than the rest of the piece. I wanted something confrontational, something to grab people's attention. estory
Comment from Ulla
Hi estory, I do agree with you. I think it's a combination of things. The climate change is part natural and part man-made. But as you say, that doesn't mean we shouldn't take better care of our planet. I'm looking forward to your next poems. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Hi estory, I do agree with you. I think it's a combination of things. The climate change is part natural and part man-made. But as you say, that doesn't mean we shouldn't take better care of our planet. I'm looking forward to your next poems. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad you enjoyed the poem. There are two more parts to this piece coming. If I get people thinking, it's a win. estory
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I have never seen the affects of climate change in my town but you certainly brought some grim scenes here that has affected where you live and I am sorry to hear about this, a fine poem, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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I have never seen the affects of climate change in my town but you certainly brought some grim scenes here that has affected where you live and I am sorry to hear about this, a fine poem, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the excellent review and your comments on the poem. I wanted to confront people with images of poor stewardship and I guess it succeeded. If people start thinking about it, it's a win. estory
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A stirring two-part verse which sends a chill and wakes us up to the reality of our carelessness in the world. I must admit I enjoyed your notes as much as your verse which give an eloquent and balanced perspective on climate change. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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A stirring two-part verse which sends a chill and wakes us up to the reality of our carelessness in the world. I must admit I enjoyed your notes as much as your verse which give an eloquent and balanced perspective on climate change. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the excellent review and your wonderful comments supporting the piece. I wanted to confront the readers and I guess I did that. If people get thinking, it's a win. estory
Comment from jim vecchio
I enjoyed this piece, but rather than comment fully on it, I would like to direct my comment to an old film you might like. It was released in the 70s in the U.S. with the title "The Last Days of Planet Earth", but it was cut miserably. There is a Japanese version that is intact. I believe it's titled "The Prophecies of Nostradamus". It has subtitles. While I don't hold with Nostradamus' followers, the film gives a good picture of the changes earth undergoes, with starvation and terrible happenings all over the world. I recommend the uncut version.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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I enjoyed this piece, but rather than comment fully on it, I would like to direct my comment to an old film you might like. It was released in the 70s in the U.S. with the title "The Last Days of Planet Earth", but it was cut miserably. There is a Japanese version that is intact. I believe it's titled "The Prophecies of Nostradamus". It has subtitles. While I don't hold with Nostradamus' followers, the film gives a good picture of the changes earth undergoes, with starvation and terrible happenings all over the world. I recommend the uncut version.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the poem. I haven't heard of that film. estory
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I have six different versions of the movie, but they are scattered all over now that I had to sell my house.
Comment from royowen
Whatever is causing this so called climate change is still in the hands of God, and it's true that even climate experts can't really agree also. But one thing I do know is that man is a lousy steward of the earth, we have failed our brief. Beautifully written, I refuse to have an opinion about things I don't know. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Whatever is causing this so called climate change is still in the hands of God, and it's true that even climate experts can't really agree also. But one thing I do know is that man is a lousy steward of the earth, we have failed our brief. Beautifully written, I refuse to have an opinion about things I don't know. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the poem. I think you got what I was trying to say here. estory
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Well done
Comment from teafor2
Estory, a disturbing list poem with great supposition(s). Author has cited
main historical facts and some acute personal observations for climate
changes. Man has done his bit to contributed to "pollution" of our fair planet via numerous ways, as scribe has already cited...Evolution has done its share for decline of health, wealth and longevity, but if as a group, we
continue to burn fuels, trees and use up all the natural resources without
replenishing or conscience, what's to become of humanity? Excellent read
and solid conversation piece. teafor2
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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Estory, a disturbing list poem with great supposition(s). Author has cited
main historical facts and some acute personal observations for climate
changes. Man has done his bit to contributed to "pollution" of our fair planet via numerous ways, as scribe has already cited...Evolution has done its share for decline of health, wealth and longevity, but if as a group, we
continue to burn fuels, trees and use up all the natural resources without
replenishing or conscience, what's to become of humanity? Excellent read
and solid conversation piece. teafor2
Comment Written 03-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the excellent review and your thoughts on the subject matter of the piece. I like to make people think, so I am glad this poem got some people thinking. Over the generations, we have grown to be less than great stewards of this planet. I tried to get people to think of the consequences of their actions. estory
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Slap to the forehead! You are right. Things change all the time. But all the crap we put up in space, and leave when we are done, is harmful. The trash and leavings are monstrous. We kill ourselves by harming our water, air, and everything else. Good writing.
Karen
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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Slap to the forehead! You are right. Things change all the time. But all the crap we put up in space, and leave when we are done, is harmful. The trash and leavings are monstrous. We kill ourselves by harming our water, air, and everything else. Good writing.
Karen
Comment Written 03-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the excellent review and your thoughts on the subject matter of the poem. The moon is becoming the new waste yard. True. estory
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:-)
Comment from Mark Jackson
I like the first part it sets the scene and introduces the idea of dying and death. The second part seems more personal a response to global warming. I find the second part is almost unpleasant to read, using hard words to finish stanzas: comes, down, too. I noticed that the word before each of these is soft: air, settles, away. This seemed to me to contrast against the hard words making them stand out further. I then noticed that in each of these cases those hard words could all be removed and the message would not be lost: Melts before it settles. I found this to be much more pleasant to read. My conclusion is that you have used the addition of words to give the reader a jarring experience. Just as you have been jarred by the change in climate. Excellent work, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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I like the first part it sets the scene and introduces the idea of dying and death. The second part seems more personal a response to global warming. I find the second part is almost unpleasant to read, using hard words to finish stanzas: comes, down, too. I noticed that the word before each of these is soft: air, settles, away. This seemed to me to contrast against the hard words making them stand out further. I then noticed that in each of these cases those hard words could all be removed and the message would not be lost: Melts before it settles. I found this to be much more pleasant to read. My conclusion is that you have used the addition of words to give the reader a jarring experience. Just as you have been jarred by the change in climate. Excellent work, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the excellent review and your analysis of my poem. I put a lot of thinking into the sound elements and imagery of my poems. Much of my style comes from studying the compositions of Seamus Heaney and his handling of words. I wanted to create a jarring effect, for sure. A confrontational tone. estory
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I love what I have read of Heaney.
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Heaney was a huge influence on me, especially early on. His first five books were masterpieces. Door Into the Dark is my favorite. estory
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I will look into it, thank you.
Comment from RJ Heritage
I too am concerned about climate change. I don't necessarily believe that it is all our fault either. What I do know, is that I see so many people, deliberately polluting our home, without a second thought. So in this way I can relate to your poem on a personal level. I believe, that our Creator promised to bring to ruin, those ruining the earth.
It was well written, and the allusions are quite memorable; only they weren't true, but they are.
This is also one of the few times, I really believe the absence of an image(picture) was unnecessary, and would have detracted from the impact of it's imagery.
Well done, refreshingly creative and deep.
RJ
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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I too am concerned about climate change. I don't necessarily believe that it is all our fault either. What I do know, is that I see so many people, deliberately polluting our home, without a second thought. So in this way I can relate to your poem on a personal level. I believe, that our Creator promised to bring to ruin, those ruining the earth.
It was well written, and the allusions are quite memorable; only they weren't true, but they are.
This is also one of the few times, I really believe the absence of an image(picture) was unnecessary, and would have detracted from the impact of it's imagery.
Well done, refreshingly creative and deep.
RJ
Comment Written 02-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the exceptional review again. I think it's pretty clear that the evidence of man made climate change is largely circumstantial, but that doesn't clear us of the mishandling and mismanagement of our resources and our role as stewards of this creation. Everywhere I go, I see roads littered with empty cans, plastic bags and cardboard. We can do better. estory
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You are very welcome.
