~ The Emotion Game ~
Many emotions all in one....17 total reviews
Comment from Cedar
Hello Heidi,
Your words ae so true. Can you imagine if we did not have emotional feelings, we would be a bunch of zombies. So, let's thank God that He equipped each one of us with this wonderful gift.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest and I also wish you and your family a very Happy Easter...Bill
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Hello Heidi,
Your words ae so true. Can you imagine if we did not have emotional feelings, we would be a bunch of zombies. So, let's thank God that He equipped each one of us with this wonderful gift.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest and I also wish you and your family a very Happy Easter...Bill
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Thank you would very much Bill....I appreciate this more than you know...
Comment from Gunner Lil
This reader enjoyed this poem immensely.
It is an easy read full of facts.
This poem also has a very nice flow and a good pace.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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This reader enjoyed this poem immensely.
It is an easy read full of facts.
This poem also has a very nice flow and a good pace.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much!!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation, Heidi.
-A well written poem with
effective imagery and rhyme.
-A very good opening verse.
-All of us do have many different
emotions and show them in
many different ways.
-You have good examples of how
they can "show love and light" one minute
and despair in the next.
-A very good concluding verse.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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-Nice artwork and presentation, Heidi.
-A well written poem with
effective imagery and rhyme.
-A very good opening verse.
-All of us do have many different
emotions and show them in
many different ways.
-You have good examples of how
they can "show love and light" one minute
and despair in the next.
-A very good concluding verse.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Thank you so very much Pam
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You are very welcome, Heidi.
Comment from karenina
S. Savant has given of his time to assist you in rhyme and meter. I won't repeat them, but strongly advise you consider editing.
The contest specifies to select ONE emotion!
Your poem is a fun exploration of the many emotions we all share--but I am concerned you've veered from the guidelines.
Enjoyable, all the same!
Karenina
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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S. Savant has given of his time to assist you in rhyme and meter. I won't repeat them, but strongly advise you consider editing.
The contest specifies to select ONE emotion!
Your poem is a fun exploration of the many emotions we all share--but I am concerned you've veered from the guidelines.
Enjoyable, all the same!
Karenina
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Hello Karenina,
Thank you so much for the very honest comment and great review. I will take your suggestions and really consider them....
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That's all I hoped for!
Comment from M_Esther
I like how you show that as humans, we can all relate to one another, because we all have similar emotions. So we should have a mutual understanding and respect of one another. Also, "the Emotion Game" is an interesting and creative term. Good luck on the contest!
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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I like how you show that as humans, we can all relate to one another, because we all have similar emotions. So we should have a mutual understanding and respect of one another. Also, "the Emotion Game" is an interesting and creative term. Good luck on the contest!
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2024
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Thank you so very much for the amazing comment and review. It means more to me than you know. I truly appreciate your kindness.
Heidixoxo
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You're welcome!
Comment from SimianSavant
Going through this in detail to try to give you the best chance possible at placing in this site contest.
FORMATTING
To make this look significantly better, crop the image, save it, then go to remove.bg (or any other transparency editor) to get rid of the white background. It doesn't look good on the blue. If you don't want to go through that, then I highly suggest changing your background to white, so it matches.
And then don't forget to add alamy.com (your image citation) to the notes.
METER
You're under no obligation to meter this for the contest requirements, but I think the following edits would make your piece work flow off the tongue a bit better.
Emotions can be tricky things
Some can really snap and sting
We're all the same when it comes to these <=
We're in it together you best believe <= since you are using a rhyming schematic, I'm noticing that these two lines don't rhyme, while all your other couplets do. I'd suggest redoing lines 3 and 4 to something more imaginative with a tighter syllable count, especially since this is your introduction.
So many feelings we all share
Even when it doesn't seem fair <= to meter more smoothly, try: sometimes it does not seem fair
Happy, sad, grumpy or mad
It's an experience we've all had<= to meter more smoothly, try: it's a feeling we've all had
Emotions can show love and light
A moment later they can bite
Happiness can soon fill the air<= to meter more smoothly, try eliminating "soon"
Yet mad as hell and then despair <= awkward/unclear. Try something like: turn to madness and despair
Grumpy pants can be on the rise <= to meter more smoothly, try: grumpiness
Sad emotions bring darkest of skies <= to meter more smoothly, eliminate "of"
Just remember we're all the same <= to meter more smoothly, eliminate "all"
It's just called the Emotion Game <= to meter more smoothly, eliminate "just"
Hope this was helpful! If you make these edits, hit me up and I will revise up the rating.
Best regards,
SS
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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Going through this in detail to try to give you the best chance possible at placing in this site contest.
FORMATTING
To make this look significantly better, crop the image, save it, then go to remove.bg (or any other transparency editor) to get rid of the white background. It doesn't look good on the blue. If you don't want to go through that, then I highly suggest changing your background to white, so it matches.
And then don't forget to add alamy.com (your image citation) to the notes.
METER
You're under no obligation to meter this for the contest requirements, but I think the following edits would make your piece work flow off the tongue a bit better.
Emotions can be tricky things
Some can really snap and sting
We're all the same when it comes to these <=
We're in it together you best believe <= since you are using a rhyming schematic, I'm noticing that these two lines don't rhyme, while all your other couplets do. I'd suggest redoing lines 3 and 4 to something more imaginative with a tighter syllable count, especially since this is your introduction.
So many feelings we all share
Even when it doesn't seem fair <= to meter more smoothly, try: sometimes it does not seem fair
Happy, sad, grumpy or mad
It's an experience we've all had<= to meter more smoothly, try: it's a feeling we've all had
Emotions can show love and light
A moment later they can bite
Happiness can soon fill the air<= to meter more smoothly, try eliminating "soon"
Yet mad as hell and then despair <= awkward/unclear. Try something like: turn to madness and despair
Grumpy pants can be on the rise <= to meter more smoothly, try: grumpiness
Sad emotions bring darkest of skies <= to meter more smoothly, eliminate "of"
Just remember we're all the same <= to meter more smoothly, eliminate "all"
It's just called the Emotion Game <= to meter more smoothly, eliminate "just"
Hope this was helpful! If you make these edits, hit me up and I will revise up the rating.
Best regards,
SS
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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Thank you for honest opinion. I truly appreciate it
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Emotions Poetry Contest. Nice rhyme pattern and flow to this poem. The artwork adds to the presentation of this piece. Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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An excellent entry for the Emotions Poetry Contest. Nice rhyme pattern and flow to this poem. The artwork adds to the presentation of this piece. Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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Thank you so very much!! Thank you for the awesome comment and review. It's truly appreciated
Comment from papa55mike
Dealing with feelings can be a difficult thing especially with children. I love the grumpy pants line. It sounds like me. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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Dealing with feelings can be a difficult thing especially with children. I love the grumpy pants line. It sounds like me. What a wonderfully written poem. Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 25-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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Hello Mike,
Thank you so much for the amazing comment and review. I'm more grateful than you'll ever know.
Comment from Brenda Strauser
I enjoyed your poem. I liked your picture of emotions . It was very clever and creative. The wording of your poem goes well with your little emotions. Very good job
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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I enjoyed your poem. I liked your picture of emotions . It was very clever and creative. The wording of your poem goes well with your little emotions. Very good job
Comment Written 25-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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Thank you soooo very much for the amazing comment and review. I appreciate your kind words more than you know....
Comment from gramalot8
This is a wonderful entry for the emotions contest. I love your choice of picture which definitely shows us many emotions. And your descriptive words bring an awareness of each type. Thanks for sharing this with us and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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This is a wonderful entry for the emotions contest. I love your choice of picture which definitely shows us many emotions. And your descriptive words bring an awareness of each type. Thanks for sharing this with us and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
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Thank you so very much for the wonderful comment and review. I appreciate this more than you know....
