Questions to Ask
Another Rabbit, Allen, and Roy adventure.7 total reviews
Comment from estory
You had a real emotional moment here, when the kind little kid experiences the death of the old man he is trying to help. Nice premonition when you have Mr. Boyd grab his side in pain. We can see it coming. But the conversation between the kind boy and the grateful old man becomes even more poignant when the boy discovers that his old man friend is dead. A life lesson. I am reminded of Stand By Me, the short story. estory
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
You had a real emotional moment here, when the kind little kid experiences the death of the old man he is trying to help. Nice premonition when you have Mr. Boyd grab his side in pain. We can see it coming. But the conversation between the kind boy and the grateful old man becomes even more poignant when the boy discovers that his old man friend is dead. A life lesson. I am reminded of Stand By Me, the short story. estory
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words and shiny six stars. They are deeply appreciated. Your insight into this story is amazing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from GWHARGIS
My goodness, these are some good stories. I'm enjoying how Michael deciphers life. He has a very mature outlook and also he's inquisitive. Keep these coming. Sad but true fact in this. Life sometimes isn't fair. Gretchen
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
My goodness, these are some good stories. I'm enjoying how Michael deciphers life. He has a very mature outlook and also he's inquisitive. Keep these coming. Sad but true fact in this. Life sometimes isn't fair. Gretchen
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Hi, Gretchen. Thank you for your kind words and shiny six stars. They are deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
A well-written story about a man's best friend who slept on rocks for a bed. Life can be difficult when you lose a friend who you fed pancakes to. I got to the end of the story and thought, who will be that someone you'll make your buckwheat pancakes for? Circle of life, isn't it?
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
A well-written story about a man's best friend who slept on rocks for a bed. Life can be difficult when you lose a friend who you fed pancakes to. I got to the end of the story and thought, who will be that someone you'll make your buckwheat pancakes for? Circle of life, isn't it?
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Hi, Rosemary. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from E.R.M
The story was great. Certain characters mentioned in the beginning seem unimportant to the story itself. (Alice, the mom part) I am under the impression this is a sequel or connected to another, which may help clarify this. As a standalone story, those parts seem a bit out of place and confusing. Also, the friends seem to just disappear once they get to the scene of the death. Other than that the story is well-written and thought out.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
The story was great. Certain characters mentioned in the beginning seem unimportant to the story itself. (Alice, the mom part) I am under the impression this is a sequel or connected to another, which may help clarify this. As a standalone story, those parts seem a bit out of place and confusing. Also, the friends seem to just disappear once they get to the scene of the death. Other than that the story is well-written and thought out.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Faith Williams
I like Michael's heart, considering Mr. Boyd when others probably walk by him on a daily basis. Such a deep conversation about why life is unfair. It was a good reminder to be thankful for everything you've got.
Suggestions to consider:
"Did he sleep right there," I point to Mr. Boyd's spot with a heavy heart. There should be a question place instead of the comma.
"None at all. Come with me," we step toward the ambulance... There should be a period after me, and 'we' should be capitalized.
General suggestion:
The word 'slowly' is repeated several times. Maybe switch a few out for a different word: cautiously, carefully, deliberately.
Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed it very much.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
I like Michael's heart, considering Mr. Boyd when others probably walk by him on a daily basis. Such a deep conversation about why life is unfair. It was a good reminder to be thankful for everything you've got.
Suggestions to consider:
"Did he sleep right there," I point to Mr. Boyd's spot with a heavy heart. There should be a question place instead of the comma.
"None at all. Come with me," we step toward the ambulance... There should be a period after me, and 'we' should be capitalized.
General suggestion:
The word 'slowly' is repeated several times. Maybe switch a few out for a different word: cautiously, carefully, deliberately.
Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed it very much.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Hi, Faith. Thank you for your kind words and help with this story!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from BethShelby
I enjoyed reading you story. I know it is based a bit on your life and kids you hung out with. I wander if the hobo was real or made up. Either way I enjoyed your story of another time that bring back with your stories.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
I enjoyed reading you story. I know it is based a bit on your life and kids you hung out with. I wander if the hobo was real or made up. Either way I enjoyed your story of another time that bring back with your stories.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Hi, Beth. We knew all of the wine-o's that lived in the field behind Schneider's. Most were nice people trapped in a horrible situation. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from royowen
You are most perceptive, you are a good Mike, you have written something that woke me up today, I enjoy me nice warm bed, a beautiful wife sleeping next to me, enough friends to last for life, and enough food for my belly, and a God who, Lord give me compassion and the wisdom to spread your love, beautifully written blessings Roy
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
You are most perceptive, you are a good Mike, you have written something that woke me up today, I enjoy me nice warm bed, a beautiful wife sleeping next to me, enough friends to last for life, and enough food for my belly, and a God who, Lord give me compassion and the wisdom to spread your love, beautifully written blessings Roy
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
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Hi, Roy. I think that's why we write stories and poems. To touch a heart. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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I agree