Reviews from

What We See

Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "What We See - Chapter 15"
A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life

18 total reviews 
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

At last the real story is known, but only to the three in Tina 's hospital room. Now the rumours from the nurse. You've told this well Jim, I think you got their emotions right . Great chapter, cheers
Valda

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 04-Mar-2024
    Thanks very much, Valda, and for the 6 too. That's very much appreciated. Although the true story is out, there's going to be some fallout from it, so we're still a ways off from complete resolution of it.
Comment from T B Botts
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Jim,
I really enjoyed this chapter. Honestly, I was kind of sitting on pins and needles thinking that Tina would go into a coma or reneg on telling the truth. Hopefully she's seeing that poor decisions have consequences. I wonder how all this is going to play out with Allen and Ginnie, if he'll ever come clean about the whole story and if he does, what the end result will be. I was reading the reviews and found it interesting that one story can provoke so many different opinions. I guess that's good. We're a diverse group here. All the more reason to write the way you want to write, about what you want to write about and let the chips fall where they may. You'll never find agreement on a story by everyone. Personally, I liked it a lot.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 01-Mar-2024
    Hey, thanks, Tom for this wonderful review with thoughtful questions. And thanks for the 6 stars too. They are greatly appreciated.

    I think you feel as I do, that Tina needs some punishment for her sins. As they say, "The burned hand teaches best," and I believe that unless she suffers some consequences, she may not learn the lessons this episode should teach her. We'll see this a little later.

    You're right that there has been a lot of speculation about what will happen, and I'm delighted by that. I love seeing how different people see things given the same facts. And you are right--when you put yourself out there, you open yourself up to comments and criticisms, but that's fine as long as folks are polite about it, which is one of the things I like about this website. For the most part, people are polite and respectful, even when they may not agree or like something you've written.

    Thanks so much for your interest in this story and your great feedback, Tom.
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I read this yesterday and failed to respond.

Personally, I thought the chapter was a little on the boring side. Sorry. It was well written and executed. Just missing a little luster.

I thought the conversation between Tina and her mom was a little simple.

Maybe it was my mood that swayed me to the more melancholy feel.

I hate writing this, but I have to be honest. You know I enjoy your writing overall.

Cheers,
John

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 01-Mar-2024
    That's absolutely fine, John, and please don't ever hesitate to write a review like this. I can take it. I definitely hear what you're saying. I could have spiced up the dialogue between Tina and her Mom, but I didn't want to rehash the whole thing again. I used to do that in previous novels and realized I was being repetitious and not adding anything new to the story, so I now choose to simply say something general like "I then repeated the whole tale." Not as exciting for an action -filled scene but also not repetitious.

    I will take another look at it and see if there is another way to add more interest, though.

    I always appreciate this kind of review because it lets me know how it's coming across.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a refreshing and satisfying chapter. Everything is out in the open. However, I think it would be difficult for Alan to return to the school where students, teachers, and parents would still whisper their opinions. I enjoyed the detail you put into descriptions and dialogue. The characters are well developed and seem realistic. Plus, the writing is flawless.

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Thank you very much, Lorraine. What a marvelous, flattering review, and I thank you for the 6 stars too. I agree entirely that it would still be difficult for Alan to go back. I think he's finding he can be quite happy going in a different direction.

    But don't think he's totally out of the woods just yet!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am glad the truth came out. It's not the best way for it to have come out, but it's out there. Now for getting on with his life, maybe with Ginnie and Tommy?????

She bent down to embrace her daughter. & She bent down and hugged Tina, (you don't need 'down' bent covers it.)

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Do you mean it's unfortunate that it took a severe beating and nearly a death to finally come out or that I should have chosen a different plot action to make it come out?

    Barbara, I love you, but you might as well dispense with the suggestions to leave out "ups" and "downs" in regards to standing, sitting, or bending. You've reminded me often enough, but I just don't agree, as I've said before, and I don't plan to change it. But I do appreciate your efforts.
reply by barbara.wilkey on 29-Feb-2024
    I'll try, but habits are hard to break. It's what my numerous editors have said. I promise to try. Besides I need the words for the review. LOL
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Ah, that's a good one!
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, the principal Earl Pinkham is very contrite in his role in the accusation toward David, and likewise the mother, David's only option is to forgive all an move on, wherever that might be, but I think he's found a new purpose, God is our defender in the long run, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Forgiveness is not quite in his mind just yet. Perhaps when all is finally said and done, but I don't think he's willing to forgive just yet until some sort of price is paid for the bad actions. He has indeed found a new purpose, though.
reply by royowen on 29-Feb-2024
    He is wise
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's not over though is it? All a great relief that the truth is now out but, where one story is clarified to the good, another interpretation my still be problematic and emotional? Another well-expressed chapter with a perfect and pleasing balance of narration and dialogue. Thanks, Jim. Take care Debbie

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Thanks very much, Debbie. Absolutely right. Not over yet. Probably the most emotional part, at least for the main characters, is yet to come. The tension won't let up for a while.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I assume that would be the end of this story that I got into late. It seems it has been brought to conclusion that takes care of the charges against this teacher. Of course, it would take time to restore a repetation tarnished by lies. I'm afraid lies like this have damaged many good men's reputations. This was well written and I enjoyed it. Since this is a book call What we see, I'm wondering if there is more to this story or other stories too come.

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Yes. I'm guessing we are only 1/3 of the way through at this point. We will go well beyond this issue, and the meaning of the title will become clearer as we get to the real heart of the story--Tommy and Alan's dyslexia. It's an incurable condition, but there are things that can be done to ameliorate it, and that's what we'll be exploring.
Comment from Julie Lau
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Okaay.. They both turned out to be good guys after all. Well, good on Tina for revealing all. This feels like the end. Is there more? Is this your first non-golf story? It worked well.
Julie

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    It's my first non-golf novel, yes. I'd say we are just over 1/3 of the way through it at this point. Right now we're 28,000 words into the story. I've written 52,000, and it's looking like it will end up between 75,000-85,000 words. By comparison, my last one, Saving Mr. Calvin was 93,000.

    We've still got a little ways to go with this part of the story, but the rest will concentrate on Tommy's and Alan's dyslexia and the efforts to combat it.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Tina needs consequences. Just because someone did something to her, does not negate what she did to him. We need sex education more than ever. It should start in the home of course, but we should teach bad touching in elementary school.In elementary school it should be segregated. Boy, I do go on. Good writing makes me think! Karen:-)

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Very good points. We will eventually see some consequences for Tina. If you noticed, Alan never forgave her for what she did. I think he could only be able to forgive her under two circumstances: She's truly sorry for what she did, which she appears to be, and she pays a personal penalty for it, otherwise, she may never truly learn from it.
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 29-Feb-2024
    Yep! A simple apology given by current trevails won't cut it.
    :-)
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    I will be posting a 3-part essay on my beliefs about religion and morality soon, and that theme is a key part of it. I hope people of all faiths or lack of faith will find it interesting. It will certainly be different from what we mostly read here.
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 29-Feb-2024
    Be careful dear friend. You get booed for being spiritual as much as for being republican.
    :-)
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Thanks for the warning. I am aware I risk alienating those who are intolerant of the beliefs of others, but I also believe it's important for people to hear different opinions. I'm not trying to say we should be tolerant of all beliefs, because some are so antithetical to your sense of morality, such as the radical Islamists belief that they should kill all who they consider infidels, but if an opinion is honestly presented without rancor, cheap shots, or dishonesty, then it should at least be respected, if not embraced.
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 29-Feb-2024
    I have never in my life told someone to think like me. But, in whatever form they choose, I can't see how anyone can not believe in a higher power somewhere. I have a huge brain and I can't. Karen
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2024
    I assume you are thinking about the complexity of life on Earth and the human body in particular as part of the reason there must be an explanation for this? If that's the case, must this be God, or could it be aliens from another solar system who are far advanced from us who created life here on Earth?

    That isn't what I believe, but do you think that's possible?
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 02-Mar-2024
    sent you a note through contacts :-)