Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

Hi John,
This is a sad poem of love lost either by break-up or death. It says a
lot in a few words with some strong personification of the sand and the water. Was the sea jealous of the love of the humans or of the sand for having proof of that love.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Congrats for placing third in the contest.
Have a great weekend.
Joan

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 01-Mar-2024

Thanks, Joan, your kind words are always appreciated. :)

John

reply by dragonpoet on 02-Mar-2024

No problem, John.
Joan

Comment from jim vecchio

Excellent

Just a suggestion: This is a good image, but going from barefoot to hand to footprint disrupts an evenly flow. Maybe you can experiment with something like:
"I dreamed of us walking
hand in hand
Our footprints kissed the sand
As the sea stole them away."

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thanks for the review Jim.

reply by jim vecchio on 24-Feb-2024

Thank you for your writing!

Comment from zanya

Excellent

So much sentiment, both sad and happy, is conveyed here in this short poetic format for the Free Form Contest - succinct form can be so effective in conveying mood and sentiment.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024

Thank you, Zanya.

Your comments are much appreciated.

John