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A Compilation of Short stories

Viewing comments for Chapter 186 "On Thin Ice"
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35 total reviews 
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
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What one mistakes for love at 13 years old almost always is infatuation.

Life at 13 years old should be simple and straightforward. Otherwise. It can become too complicated for a young teen to cope with.

"sack of potatoes" is a good way to depict a big boy.

Easy to see why you were "fascinated". Usually, that is what occurs with most young teens when someone a couple years older than they are displays any attention on them.

The last four-line paragraph contains a bit of a rambling run-on sentence.

Then, Peter was gone. Never to be seen again. Exactly how many young courtships resolve themselves.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much, Brett. It was a fun little memory to write about. I'm glad you liked it. Ulla:)))
Comment from RJ Heritage
Excellent
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Very well written. First time love is always impacting. I can remember mine vividly.
I really liked the way you described all events before your eventful meet with the young man. Perhaps you would let us know, if you do ever find out what happened to him.
RJ

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much, RJ and for a lovely review. I'm glad you liked it. I don't think I will ever find him again. I never knew his surname. And it doesn't matter really. It's just a wonderful memory. Ulla:)))
reply by RJ Heritage on 24-Feb-2024
    You?re welcome.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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Very nice artwork and story to go with it, Ulla. I enjoyed reading it, and your notes are appreciated. It would make me wonder what happened, too. You set the story up well describing your infatuation with this boy, and also going to the pool with your friend, Eva.

The scene shifts to skating and that's when you crashed into this boy. When you returned to the skating rink, Eva was quick to let you know that he had been waiting for you, and she thought he was good looking, too. Sure enough he approached you and introduced himself.

It must have made an impact because you recall your feelings very well. I think the fascination with an older boy is something a lot of girls go through. It is an innocent time, but it also means we are growing up and having feelings we didn't know about before. It sounds like he really liked you, and it's a shame you wouldn't see him again. I assume you didn't hear from him, either.

You did a really good job with the story. Good luck in the contest.
One small thing: The skating ring [I don't know if that is what you call it
or if you meant skating rink.]






The skating ring

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much, Pam, and for the the lovely and thorough review. I haven't thought about this encounter for so many years, but thought it suited the contest just fine. I have made the correction. Thanks so much for pointing it out. Ulla xx
reply by Pam (respa) on 23-Feb-2024
    You are very welcome, Ulla, and I appreciate your reply. I think it suited the contest, too.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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This is an endearing memory Ulla and we meet people in our youth and wonder what sort of life they lad afterwards and miss their loving connection. This is a sweet and tender write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Hi Dolly. Thank you so very much. The memory just came back to me when I saw the contest. I thought it would be just right for it. Thanks again. Ulla xcx
Comment from Jacob1395
Excellent
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It is amazing how much of an impact a person can have on us after just one chance meeting and I could sense that Peter did have a big impact on you. A well written, engaging piece Ulla. I enjoyed reading it.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much, Jacob. Yeah, he left a big impression back then. Ulla:)))
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh where did he go and why did he leave
There's a
Story waiting to be written
Regardless, first loves are responsible for unlocking the heart
Someone has
To be first
Mine lasted
Four years and
We
Never had a date

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much, Tom, and for the wonderful six stars. That's such an honour.
    I have no idea what happened to him. He just vanished, or so it seemed.
    But you're right, I could write a fictional story about what might have happened. Thanks so much again. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Sweet love story and a great entry for the Young at Heart contest. It's sad that you never saw him again. I had my first love in Madrid. We dated for a summer and after that I moved to America. I tried calling him and writing but didn't get an answer. His father answered the phone once and told me to stop calling, Pedro was heart broken. I went back two years after and he was dating a girl I knew. I still think about him sometimes.

Well done, Ulla. I hope you win.

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much, Marival. Yeah that first sweet love will be always be there. Thanks also for your best wishes. Noone seems to wore for it. Never mind, it was great to write. Ulla xcx
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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A good story. We also have these same experiences when growing up in the teenage and young adult era. We are young at heart but it's the only way we find out who we one day marry.

Wouldn't it be shocking if he were not far away from where you live today? Do you remember his name?

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much, Rosemary. Yes, we all experience something similar at a young age. I will never know anything about him. I only knew he was Peter. It's just a wee memory. Besides, I haven't lived in Denmark for 35 years. Thanks again. Ullaxcx
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This story of love at first "collision" made me smile. And to have it all end suddenly without a word of explanation reminds me of a crush I had once as a thirteen-year-old on an incredibly mature (or not) fourteen-year-old, where we 'went' together for almost four days without actually going out, only to have him end it with nothing other than saying something to the effect of being too young to be serious.
A very, very small suggestion:
the boy, in question, suddenly stood next me.

You can take the commas out after boy and after questions, since they are not needed.

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
    Oh, Crystie, thank you so very much for your wonderful review and stars.thanks also for sharing your own memory with me. It really put a smile on my face. I will remove those two commas. Thanks so much again. Ulla xcx
Comment from Andrea Kepple
Excellent
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It's a sweet story. I like how you conveyed the awkwardness of meeting and talking to someone at the age of thirteen.

I particularly liked how you were able to subvert my expectations at the end of the story. Nicely done and it works well with the story you set up.

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much, Andrea, and for the lovely review. I'm so glad you liked it. I thought it was just right for the contest. Ulla:)))