A Handful Of Clouds
homage to future heroes of the past19 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Jim,
You've written a very delightful science fiction story. It's set in the future and involves another life form, but it's definitely applicable for today. Sacrificial love, especially at the level you see here, is rare. Perhaps mankind has advanced.
Great job,
Hugs,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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Hi Jim,
You've written a very delightful science fiction story. It's set in the future and involves another life form, but it's definitely applicable for today. Sacrificial love, especially at the level you see here, is rare. Perhaps mankind has advanced.
Great job,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment Written 10-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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I am posting a very different kind of story, "Everybody Dies", then another sci fi story soon for the flash fiction club.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Well done!! I felt like a 'fly on the wall,' listening to a conversation aboard the Enterprise!
Great use of dialogue to move the story along, and it was a work of science fiction. Thank you for sharing,
~MP~
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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Well done!! I felt like a 'fly on the wall,' listening to a conversation aboard the Enterprise!
Great use of dialogue to move the story along, and it was a work of science fiction. Thank you for sharing,
~MP~
Comment Written 10-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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I have another sci-fi short for aq flash fiction contest I'll probably post Monday and for Sunday, Lord willing, I will post "Everybody Dies" which is definitely NOT sci-fi!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I really enjoyed your story, Jim, and it had me thinking about what the Alannians said about us killing God's son. We did! It has to be a very compasionate God to forgive us for that. I don't think I could be so forgiving if anyone killed my son. You made a lot of sense in this writing, and I really enjoyed it. Well done, my friend. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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I really enjoyed your story, Jim, and it had me thinking about what the Alannians said about us killing God's son. We did! It has to be a very compasionate God to forgive us for that. I don't think I could be so forgiving if anyone killed my son. You made a lot of sense in this writing, and I really enjoyed it. Well done, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment Written 09-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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I'm thankful for your kind words. There are so many blasphemous sci-fi movies and writings, I wanted to do a retro story with a more Christian plot.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This story is well written. I read through until I noticed that this is a fantasy tale and normally, I don't read fantasy books or short stories. So, I skimmed through to later down toward the ending of this long story and I noticed that there are some sensual descriptions and it is then I discovered why you are doing so well with your readership.
One suggestion; place this story under the heading fantasy instead of general fiction.
That way we will know what we are reading about.
Interesting and provocative.
Jesse
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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This story is well written. I read through until I noticed that this is a fantasy tale and normally, I don't read fantasy books or short stories. So, I skimmed through to later down toward the ending of this long story and I noticed that there are some sensual descriptions and it is then I discovered why you are doing so well with your readership.
One suggestion; place this story under the heading fantasy instead of general fiction.
That way we will know what we are reading about.
Interesting and provocative.
Jesse
Comment Written 09-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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Thank you! I'm still learning the ropes. I'll see now if I can edit that heading!
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It's a steep learning climb, but you'll get it. I know you can do it. I did.
Yet, I'm still learning.
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I have one more fantasy story for a contest, then tonight or tomorrow, I'll be posting, God willing, a story, "Everybody Dies" which is definitely NOT fntasy!
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Sounds interesting.
Doomsday stories are always good reading. It Makes you ponder the future.
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Actually, I held back the fantasy as I entered today's contest and the story "Everybody Dies" is a story of one teacher's personal conflict within a class for learning disabled students.
Comment from lyenochka
That's quite the story, Jim! And I like how you wove in Scripture references like "Greater love hath no man than to give his life for another!" I also like how you have the narrator, Jack, and his love interest, Venus express their love for each other without ever really saying. She knows!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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That's quite the story, Jim! And I like how you wove in Scripture references like "Greater love hath no man than to give his life for another!" I also like how you have the narrator, Jack, and his love interest, Venus express their love for each other without ever really saying. She knows!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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I was so tired of modern tales based on fantasy heroes that interweave expletives and blasphemies into their speech and plots, I wanted to write one with a positive, Christian element!
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Great job!!
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I wrote a couple of silly, stupid things for the sake of contests, but, late tonight, I will post one of the stories I'm a little prouder of, "Everybody Dies". Hopefully, it will be there tomorrow (Sunday).
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I love space operas, so this was great fun to read. It was well written and came to a very satisfactory conclusion. He may not have lived but he was a hero and brought two worlds together. Great ending. Two suggestions: Paragraphs 10 and 11 have same info. Also, you can put more than one sentence in a paragraph. You might want to join some of them together if they are talking about the same thing. But when someone is talking, they get a paragraph to themselves and also what they are doing.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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I love space operas, so this was great fun to read. It was well written and came to a very satisfactory conclusion. He may not have lived but he was a hero and brought two worlds together. Great ending. Two suggestions: Paragraphs 10 and 11 have same info. Also, you can put more than one sentence in a paragraph. You might want to join some of them together if they are talking about the same thing. But when someone is talking, they get a paragraph to themselves and also what they are doing.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024
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Thanks! I'll see about those two paragraphs. Sometimes I put too little in a paragraph, as I felt it would be easier for the reader, but I'll watch that from now on!
Comment from John Ciarmello
Jim, this had all the elements to make it an exciting story. The dedication to one another stood out in this piece, as well as the romance and Jack's ultimate sacrifice.
Great stuff! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Jim, this had all the elements to make it an exciting story. The dedication to one another stood out in this piece, as well as the romance and Jack's ultimate sacrifice.
Great stuff! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words!
Comment from nomi338
A wonderful tale with a familiar plot that teaches a life long moral story. Indeed, no greater love has any man than to be willing to sacrifice his own life for the life of another. If ever there was someone worthy of imitation, it is the savior of mankind, Jesus the Christ.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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A wonderful tale with a familiar plot that teaches a life long moral story. Indeed, no greater love has any man than to be willing to sacrifice his own life for the life of another. If ever there was someone worthy of imitation, it is the savior of mankind, Jesus the Christ.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thanks! I despise the way modern movies must mock God's name or interject vulgarity into their plot. I wanted to write an old-fashioned "space opera" with a Christian theme.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Pretty interesting storyline going on here. Sometimes it was serious, sometimes it was action-oriented, sometimes it was serious/religious, and sometimes it felt a little tongue-in-cheek.
Favorite part:
"Jack, you son of a space shooter!
One suggestion:
They laid me by a tall oak tree.
I might say:
They laid me to rest in a small grave by a tall oak tree.
Or else:
They laid my remains in a small patch of ground by a tall oak tree.
That is just because the way you have it now, it seems like the remains were all in one piece and above ground.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Pretty interesting storyline going on here. Sometimes it was serious, sometimes it was action-oriented, sometimes it was serious/religious, and sometimes it felt a little tongue-in-cheek.
Favorite part:
"Jack, you son of a space shooter!
One suggestion:
They laid me by a tall oak tree.
I might say:
They laid me to rest in a small grave by a tall oak tree.
Or else:
They laid my remains in a small patch of ground by a tall oak tree.
That is just because the way you have it now, it seems like the remains were all in one piece and above ground.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thanks for your excellent suggestion! I will use it and edit the story.
Comment from Lisasview
Great Story dearest Jim....very creative..
Found one little boo boo..
The colonel added added,... you wrote added twice ... no big deal but I alway like to really review correctly...
Hey, did you know that I had my 76th birthday on the 6th...
Lisa
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Great Story dearest Jim....very creative..
Found one little boo boo..
The colonel added added,... you wrote added twice ... no big deal but I alway like to really review correctly...
Hey, did you know that I had my 76th birthday on the 6th...
Lisa
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much! I will correct that! A strange figure in a black cloak told me about that! Seriously, I've forgotten, but I believe it was in a happy birthday poem.
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Ha ha ha yes, it was dear Jim...
Lisa
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I hope I remember next year! My mind is still on my bed, trying to sleep.
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I have no doubt that you will Jim,
Lisa
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Thanks and I always appreciate your words!
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And, you are always welcome dear Jim
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Hope to read more of you soon!
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Me too.... Just dealing with my knee...
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I pray The Lord will grant you recovery and great strength. We need to hear your voice on this site.
