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Return To Concorde Valley

Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "The Garden of Phoebus"
Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.

19 total reviews 
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice job giving us backstory information in a natural conversation between the two main characters. Echo is learning a lot quickly. An excellent introduction to the garden and how magical it is. I wish I were there.

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
    Hi Debi,
    Good to hear from you. It's always good to hear from another fantasy writer and get your take on it. You're able to give a unique perspective.

    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Daylily
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A well-told story bridging spirituality and mythology in a modern-day setting. I am enjoying your writing very much, especially the many sensory elements you are interweaving throughout. Smiles, Lily

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2024
    Hi Lily, thank you for the review and comments on the way I reconciled spiritually and mythology. That part was a bit difficult. Also glad the sensory parts worked as well.

    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Oh dear, Rhonda, I missed this one, but never mind, I've read it now. Yours is the second one I've missed.
The garden smells and looks gorgeous, I could smell and taste those peaches, and the flowers, just bliss. Yes, we had our chance to live in the perfect garden. I love the way it edged to Jesus and Mohammad, that was good too. This is a really lovely chapter in your book, my friend. Well done!! :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2024
    Thank you so much, Sandra!! I appreciate the time you spent on it, and I totally understand about finding things lost in the messages. I have 67 right now, and that's overwhelming!

    Thank you for your commentary as I tried to work in two opposing ideas and try to make it come out clear.

    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes, I like that you have connected this story to the Christian faith. This is beautiful love story that deals with good and evil and gods and goddesses but still connects the mythology and Christianity. It is a creative blending of the two.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2024
    Thank you for the wonderful review, Beth, and for noticing how I blended the two worlds, while maintaining my beliefs. It was a difficult chapter, but I'm glad I pulled it off.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm so glad that Helen persuaded you to include the Greek gods. It gives much more depth to the tale. I loved this chapter because it touches on all the problems the world is facing today. Thanks a lot for doing that. Now, this deserves all the stars I just don't have, and I feel really bad about that. This is quite the story, Rhonda. I so enjoy it. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2024
    Hi Ulla. I understand about the stars. We need at least 6 more, lol!
    Thanks for the review and comments!
    I love Greek mythology!

    Take care,
    Rhonda
reply by Ulla on 25-Jan-2024
    So do I :)))
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Rhonda,
Another excellent chapter in the book with marvelous description
of the magical garden as it increases the connection between Echo and Theo.
A true garden of the gods.
Theo seems to enjoy games or challenges, to increase Echo's awareness
and Echo in turn responds well to the challenge.
I haven't read Greek mythology in many decades, but I recall in being very violent, much like our own world. Perhaps one is merely a reflection of the other. But which one?
Nicely done.
Best wishes.
Robert


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2024
    Hi Robert, thank you so much for the beautiful 6 stars!
    Yes, Greek Mythology gets pretty violent, and this story will get a bit dicey, too, in a bit. Greek gods are, after all, Greek gods?

    Theo is pretty playful, he also knows how to help Echo anchor herself. There will be a bit more of the soft side of these powerful people before the claws come out.

    Thanks again,
    Rhonda
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very nice artwork and story to go with it, Rhonda. Theo definitely has a different way of explaining things. I think most of us would be like Echo and just say things as they come to us, but in Theo's world, it is much different, a lot slower. You are supposed to stop and actually smell the roses and think about what they look like.

I think they both needed some quiet time together and Diantha had the same idea at the end of the previous chapter.

They also had a good discussion about their beliefs, good and evil, and what had happened to mankind and how that manifests itself in the current time. The concluding paragraph shows how close the two of them have become.

Well done, my friend.

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
    Pam, thank you so much for the six stars and for the time you took on the review.

    It was a difficult chapter to write and will probably be one of the only ones that will deal with their beliefs. It will be assumed after this point.

    Quiet time is about to be interrupted, lol.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
reply by Pam (respa) on 24-Jan-2024
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. Have a good rest of your day, week, and upcoming weekend!!
Comment from Navada
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really enjoyed the beautiful description of the garden with all of its various attributes and the conversation at the end was fascinating. it's a great reconciliation of disparate ideas and it works so well within the context of the story.

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
    Navada, thank you for the wonderful review! It gets straight to the point and communicates meaning.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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This seems like an ending, but I want the story to go on. Theo's world is really beautiful as we look at it through Echo's eyes. You have done a good job of world building and personality development.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
    Thank you so much, Carol. I appreciate your time and encouraging words,
    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I know it's only Monday, but I ran out of sixes yesterday. This post deserves one. I do hope many reviewers share them with you. I love this story.

Nodding, she let him guide her to a concrete bench and sit down. (and sat.)

He simply said, "ask me." ("Ask me.")

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2024


reply by the author on 22-Jan-2024
    Thank you so much for the comments and virtual 6. I'm all out of them, too, lol.

    I made the corrections you suggested. The funny thing is, I had written them the correct way the first time, then went back and changed them thinking they were wrong! Thank you for clarifying!