Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 489 "Demanding My Place in the Sun"Small and Specialty Poems
6 total reviews
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, Tom!
I am honored that you would write your thoughts in the form of a Tetraresona. (Such a fancy name!) :)
I love your subject matter, and I found that all of your lines flowed well with the exception of the following:
To reach the sun is truly ordeal.
Not certain how to fix that!
Perhaps:
To reach the sun? Such huge ordeal!
Thank you for sharing!
Onward!
diane
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
  |
Good morning, Tom!
I am honored that you would write your thoughts in the form of a Tetraresona. (Such a fancy name!) :)
I love your subject matter, and I found that all of your lines flowed well with the exception of the following:
To reach the sun is truly ordeal.
Not certain how to fix that!
Perhaps:
To reach the sun? Such huge ordeal!
Thank you for sharing!
Onward!
diane
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
-
Thank you so much Diane. Oh, I like that suggestion, think I?ll use it.
Comment from John Ciarmello
I didn't notice the imperfection, and nor did I care as I read.
This is a beautiful piece, and it always interests me where other writers get their inspiration.
I enjoyed this piece. Was it meant to be metaphoric or simply from the perspective of the sampling?
Beautiful regardless. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
 |
I didn't notice the imperfection, and nor did I care as I read.
This is a beautiful piece, and it always interests me where other writers get their inspiration.
I enjoyed this piece. Was it meant to be metaphoric or simply from the perspective of the sampling?
Beautiful regardless. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 19-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
-
Thank you John. It is meant to be both. I appreciate you review and comments. I often try to find inspiration in simple things. I am pleased that you enjoyed it. My previous poem, Ice Collared Rocks, is another simple nature piece from a picture most people wouldn't notice.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
I thought this was fir the photo writing contest. It is so nicely written from Nature's point b of view. I am a tree and nature fan and a fan of anything in support of trees and nature. You have put work into this poem and it shows. Its an underdog story and im a fan of protecting living creatures so they can flour I sh. Excellent message. Thank you for your extensive Author Note also.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
|
I thought this was fir the photo writing contest. It is so nicely written from Nature's point b of view. I am a tree and nature fan and a fan of anything in support of trees and nature. You have put work into this poem and it shows. Its an underdog story and im a fan of protecting living creatures so they can flour I sh. Excellent message. Thank you for your extensive Author Note also.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
-
Thank you, Alexandra. Sounds like we are kindred spirits. My previous poem, Ice Collared Rocks, is entered in the photo contest.
-
You're welcome!
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very well written poem that you have created, and I enjoyed listening to it very much. The format is very complicated, and I probably would never try such a thing because of my vision problems, but this was a pleasure to listen to. You could almost take those seedlings as a metaphor for human life as well. Patricia
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
|
This is a very well written poem that you have created, and I enjoyed listening to it very much. The format is very complicated, and I probably would never try such a thing because of my vision problems, but this was a pleasure to listen to. You could almost take those seedlings as a metaphor for human life as well. Patricia
Comment Written 19-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
-
Thank you Patricia, That is wxactly what I had in mind. Thank you for the review and comments.
Comment from Yusita
I enjoyed reading this. The theme was an uncommon one, which is always a treat. I read the author's notes before reading the poem, and I think that made me understand your train of thought even better. A well-written piece!
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
|
I enjoyed reading this. The theme was an uncommon one, which is always a treat. I read the author's notes before reading the poem, and I think that made me understand your train of thought even better. A well-written piece!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
-
Thank you Yusita. Good idea to read my notes first. I appreciate your review and comments.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Not only did you use personification on a tree, but then you gave its opinion. Very empathetic position.
Brilliantly done my friend. Enjoyed this.
This line seemed to be missing a word?:
Since day that my story's begun,
it's hard to believe life's for real.
(Perhaps you did that for poetic purpose but it does trip the reader up.
Regardless, this is a most enjoyable piece.
D
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
|
Not only did you use personification on a tree, but then you gave its opinion. Very empathetic position.
Brilliantly done my friend. Enjoyed this.
This line seemed to be missing a word?:
Since day that my story's begun,
it's hard to believe life's for real.
(Perhaps you did that for poetic purpose but it does trip the reader up.
Regardless, this is a most enjoyable piece.
D
Comment Written 19-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
-
Thank you Douglas. I did it to hold the iambic tetrameter. I very much appreciate your review and comment. Glad you did enjoy it, and caught the personification.
