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Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
People, especially family can be emotional bullies. I have a policy, now, after years and years of all kinds of abuse, not to tolerate the stuff. I give it back. Back handed compliments are my pet peeve (currently).
A lady I did not know, and never would now, said to me: You carry all that extra weight well! I said right back to her" I admire the fact that you are ugly, not weigh you down as well." I smiled and moved on.
Karen :-)
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People, especially family can be emotional bullies. I have a policy, now, after years and years of all kinds of abuse, not to tolerate the stuff. I give it back. Back handed compliments are my pet peeve (currently).
A lady I did not know, and never would now, said to me: You carry all that extra weight well! I said right back to her" I admire the fact that you are ugly, not weigh you down as well." I smiled and moved on.
Karen :-)
Comment Written 15-Dec-2023
Comment from Dawn Munro
Your story is compelling, which is always important. I am sorry that you have had these tragic things happen to you. Sadly, we do not choose our family, and they can be horrendous.
I have a few suggestions, mostly for grammar, spelling and punctuation:
1) a) Never use numbers within a story unless it is to indicate time or date -- for example, spell out "twelve" --"In the south, it appears that if you are 12 and the molestor is 17 or even older, that it is..." and "Not 10 minutes later, my mother was standing over me yelling, "Oh so now you kissing boys, uh? Well, I tell you this: Go out there..."
b) molest(e)r -- spelling error
c) We also do not use capital letters to emphasize -- " and there, NEVER, to share anything with her. " (that's what italics are for)
2) As wordsmiths, unless one is using it as a poetic device, we avoid repetition like this: "(I told her) that in private, she was supportive, but in public her real sentiments are exposed. (I told her) that..."
3) When beginning a sentence with a word that introduces the next part (like "So") there is always a comma -- "So, I decided that I..."
These are a few of the errors -- it is difficult to remain impartial when writing about one's own experiences -- you did well, overall.
I was saddened to read this: "Ultimately, I am beginning to be very satisfied with who I am becoming. "I don't complain about anything to anyone, because it can be used against me later and nobody is really listening anyway."
Anyone who would listen to a complaint and then use it to hurt you later isn't worth your confidence in the first place... But that doesn't mean that there are not others who are trustworthy, and we all need someone in whom we can confide. (Unfortunately, those people are rare.) Choose slowly and carefully.
You have a talent that needs to be nurtured, IMHO. I do not spend a lot of my time offering suggestions unless I feel it is 'seed that will fall onto rich soil'. Your mistakes herein are basic SPAG -- a beginner's mistakes, but your overall ability to compel the read and to be organized in telling a tale so deeply personal is evidence that you are, indeed, a writer.
Best of luck in your future writings... Concerning content -- I will pray for you. No one deserves the kind of betrayals you describe.
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Your story is compelling, which is always important. I am sorry that you have had these tragic things happen to you. Sadly, we do not choose our family, and they can be horrendous.
I have a few suggestions, mostly for grammar, spelling and punctuation:
1) a) Never use numbers within a story unless it is to indicate time or date -- for example, spell out "twelve" --"In the south, it appears that if you are 12 and the molestor is 17 or even older, that it is..." and "Not 10 minutes later, my mother was standing over me yelling, "Oh so now you kissing boys, uh? Well, I tell you this: Go out there..."
b) molest(e)r -- spelling error
c) We also do not use capital letters to emphasize -- " and there, NEVER, to share anything with her. " (that's what italics are for)
2) As wordsmiths, unless one is using it as a poetic device, we avoid repetition like this: "(I told her) that in private, she was supportive, but in public her real sentiments are exposed. (I told her) that..."
3) When beginning a sentence with a word that introduces the next part (like "So") there is always a comma -- "So, I decided that I..."
These are a few of the errors -- it is difficult to remain impartial when writing about one's own experiences -- you did well, overall.
I was saddened to read this: "Ultimately, I am beginning to be very satisfied with who I am becoming. "I don't complain about anything to anyone, because it can be used against me later and nobody is really listening anyway."
Anyone who would listen to a complaint and then use it to hurt you later isn't worth your confidence in the first place... But that doesn't mean that there are not others who are trustworthy, and we all need someone in whom we can confide. (Unfortunately, those people are rare.) Choose slowly and carefully.
You have a talent that needs to be nurtured, IMHO. I do not spend a lot of my time offering suggestions unless I feel it is 'seed that will fall onto rich soil'. Your mistakes herein are basic SPAG -- a beginner's mistakes, but your overall ability to compel the read and to be organized in telling a tale so deeply personal is evidence that you are, indeed, a writer.
Best of luck in your future writings... Concerning content -- I will pray for you. No one deserves the kind of betrayals you describe.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2023
Comment from pit viper
I can 100% relate to everything you've said. I am also an educator, writer, mom, grandma, etc. But I struggle to overcome the "reputation" of being a bad kid, "that kid who has something wrong with her", a reputation which was perpetuated by my stepmother, who hated me unreasonably as a child and lied about me in order to cause others not to trust me. The fact that she is now dead does not make it easier to come out from under this shadow she cast over my life. For a long time, I've felt like a fraud: yes, I'm a good mother, a good teacher, etc... but most people don't know the truth: that I was a bad kid, and I've had to overcome that. Now, at age 51, I am struggling to accept the reality that this was never the truth. I was never a bad kid. It's confusing and I don't understand why adults would ever want to make a kid feel that way. Anyway, your writing really resonated. Thank you.
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I can 100% relate to everything you've said. I am also an educator, writer, mom, grandma, etc. But I struggle to overcome the "reputation" of being a bad kid, "that kid who has something wrong with her", a reputation which was perpetuated by my stepmother, who hated me unreasonably as a child and lied about me in order to cause others not to trust me. The fact that she is now dead does not make it easier to come out from under this shadow she cast over my life. For a long time, I've felt like a fraud: yes, I'm a good mother, a good teacher, etc... but most people don't know the truth: that I was a bad kid, and I've had to overcome that. Now, at age 51, I am struggling to accept the reality that this was never the truth. I was never a bad kid. It's confusing and I don't understand why adults would ever want to make a kid feel that way. Anyway, your writing really resonated. Thank you.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2023
Comment from Michael Groover
That was deep. Some times it's best to keep quiet and let everyone else sound ignorant around you. I hardly speak to my younger brothers and they only call when they want something
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That was deep. Some times it's best to keep quiet and let everyone else sound ignorant around you. I hardly speak to my younger brothers and they only call when they want something
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
Comment from Terry Broxson
Before I get to the commentary, there is one thing you need to change. You have it listed as General Fiction in the heading. In reality, I am sure it is non-fiction, biographical, or commentary. That is what the rules of the contest call for, and I do not want this to be disqualified.
You have written a very insightful story. It takes courage to write something this personal. And it is a wonderful testament that you like all of us, are a piece of work under construction. Exceptional writing. Thank you for entering the contest. Terry.
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Before I get to the commentary, there is one thing you need to change. You have it listed as General Fiction in the heading. In reality, I am sure it is non-fiction, biographical, or commentary. That is what the rules of the contest call for, and I do not want this to be disqualified.
You have written a very insightful story. It takes courage to write something this personal. And it is a wonderful testament that you like all of us, are a piece of work under construction. Exceptional writing. Thank you for entering the contest. Terry.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
