The Corner of Church and Main
A love story42 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Jessica,
The repetition enhances the emotion in the poem. It seems they met at the wrong time for their love to work. It's romantic that they kept returning to that corner until the timing was right and love could bloom.
Good luck with the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a good weekend.
Joan
  |
Hi Jessica,
The repetition enhances the emotion in the poem. It seems they met at the wrong time for their love to work. It's romantic that they kept returning to that corner until the timing was right and love could bloom.
Good luck with the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a good weekend.
Joan
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
Comment from Michael Groover
Your poem paints a beautiful and poignant picture of a chance encounter and reconnection between two people at the corner of Church and Main on a snowy winter night. The imagery of the cold December night and falling snow sets a romantic and wistful atmosphere for the poem.
The narrative flows seamlessly as you describe the initial meeting, the stumble that leads to their interaction, and the instant connection that forms between them. The repetition of the phrase "on the corner of Church and Main" creates a rhythmic quality that reinforces the significance of the location in their story.
The use of descriptive language, such as "flakes on her skin," "silver terrain," and "whispered tones," enhances the sensory experience of the poem, allowing readers to feel the emotions and atmosphere of the moment.
The poem beautifully captures the fleeting nature of such chance encounters and the bittersweet longing that can result from missed opportunities. The ending brings a sense of hope and reunion, suggesting that fate and timing can sometimes align to bring two people back together.
Overall, your poem is a touching and evocative exploration of love, fate, and the enduring connection between two souls.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
|
Your poem paints a beautiful and poignant picture of a chance encounter and reconnection between two people at the corner of Church and Main on a snowy winter night. The imagery of the cold December night and falling snow sets a romantic and wistful atmosphere for the poem.
The narrative flows seamlessly as you describe the initial meeting, the stumble that leads to their interaction, and the instant connection that forms between them. The repetition of the phrase "on the corner of Church and Main" creates a rhythmic quality that reinforces the significance of the location in their story.
The use of descriptive language, such as "flakes on her skin," "silver terrain," and "whispered tones," enhances the sensory experience of the poem, allowing readers to feel the emotions and atmosphere of the moment.
The poem beautifully captures the fleeting nature of such chance encounters and the bittersweet longing that can result from missed opportunities. The ending brings a sense of hope and reunion, suggesting that fate and timing can sometimes align to bring two people back together.
Overall, your poem is a touching and evocative exploration of love, fate, and the enduring connection between two souls.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
-
This wonderful review is truly appreciated. Thank you so much!
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Yusita
I absolutely loved this! What a way to write a love story. I loved how every stanza ended with "on the corner of Church and Main". It added to the feelings evoked by this poem. Also, the very first two lines were my favorite. Such beautiful imagery.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
|
I absolutely loved this! What a way to write a love story. I loved how every stanza ended with "on the corner of Church and Main". It added to the feelings evoked by this poem. Also, the very first two lines were my favorite. Such beautiful imagery.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
-
Thank you so much! Xo
Comment from Jim Wile
This was such an enchanting poem, Jess, and I loved the repetition of the last line in each stanza. It was a sweet story of a chance encounter, and persistence on his part ended up rewarding him in the end as they met again.
I loved the meter with the three anapests on the second line of each stanza. It made for a very pleasing, flowing rhythm which was very consistent.
If I could make one suggestion: The second line of the first stanza introduces this meter, but it sounds more like this:
(DA-dit-DA) (dit-dit-DA) (dit-dit-DA) - 4 feet
than this:
(dit-dit-DA) (dit-dit-DA) (dit-dit-DA) - 3 feet
Perhaps something like this would be better:
"as the snow fell in winter's refrain"
You want to make sure the reader gets off on the right foot (put intended) right from the beginning. Just a minor point in an otherwise terrific poem. - Jim the Meter Man Wile (reminiscent of Tim the Tool Man Taylor).
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
 |
This was such an enchanting poem, Jess, and I loved the repetition of the last line in each stanza. It was a sweet story of a chance encounter, and persistence on his part ended up rewarding him in the end as they met again.
I loved the meter with the three anapests on the second line of each stanza. It made for a very pleasing, flowing rhythm which was very consistent.
If I could make one suggestion: The second line of the first stanza introduces this meter, but it sounds more like this:
(DA-dit-DA) (dit-dit-DA) (dit-dit-DA) - 4 feet
than this:
(dit-dit-DA) (dit-dit-DA) (dit-dit-DA) - 3 feet
Perhaps something like this would be better:
"as the snow fell in winter's refrain"
You want to make sure the reader gets off on the right foot (put intended) right from the beginning. Just a minor point in an otherwise terrific poem. - Jim the Meter Man Wile (reminiscent of Tim the Tool Man Taylor).
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
-
Hahah Jim, you are the best. Your suggestion is perfect (of course) and very much appreciated. I will revise now! I am thrilled my attempted mixed meter approach was approved by the meter man, himself. I was a little nervous, as it?s a bit outside the (tool) box for me- but I took a shot! All thanks to my meter time with the meter man! "Poem improvement", if you will?
Ok, I'm done.
lol
Thank you, MM
Xo
Jess
-
Yeah, I just loved the meter of this one, Jess. You were so consistent with it, and it just made it flow so well. I like to mix it up too sometimes.
Comment from Jacob1395
This definitely deserves to win. I loved the imagery of the pair dancing, and I could feel the sadness when they were having to part. The rhyme was so well done. I really enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
|
This definitely deserves to win. I loved the imagery of the pair dancing, and I could feel the sadness when they were having to part. The rhyme was so well done. I really enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
-
Oh, thank you so much, Jacob! I'm honored by your kind words xo
Comment from jmdg1954
This was an incredible read. Such a gracious love story that flowed so well from start to finish.
My only pick is the rhyme of - unconstrained with Church and Main
Could just be me. I very rarely write poetry. Still undeniably six star worthy.
I really enjoyed your post.
John
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
|
This was an incredible read. Such a gracious love story that flowed so well from start to finish.
My only pick is the rhyme of - unconstrained with Church and Main
Could just be me. I very rarely write poetry. Still undeniably six star worthy.
I really enjoyed your post.
John
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
-
Thank you so much, John! I'm truly honored!
Xo
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, Jessica!
Oh my goodness!
How I loved your poetic story and its rhyming refrain, "on the corner of Church and Main."
And I smiled throughout wondering, hoping, and at last knowing that they both returned to the corner of Church and Main.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
|
Good morning, Jessica!
Oh my goodness!
How I loved your poetic story and its rhyming refrain, "on the corner of Church and Main."
And I smiled throughout wondering, hoping, and at last knowing that they both returned to the corner of Church and Main.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
-
diane, that means the world coming from you! I'm honored by your kind words. Thank you so much!
Xo
Jess
Comment from Wendy G
That is quite beautiful! A lovely story in a poem and the refrain is very appropriate. You developed each stanza well, and a happy ending is always nice!! Best wishes for your clever entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
|
That is quite beautiful! A lovely story in a poem and the refrain is very appropriate. You developed each stanza well, and a happy ending is always nice!! Best wishes for your clever entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much, Wendy!
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I enjoyed the rhymes here Jessica and the sentiment. The poem is unmetered, but I still enjoyed the concept here, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
|
I enjoyed the rhymes here Jessica and the sentiment. The poem is unmetered, but I still enjoyed the concept here, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much, Dolly!
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Lea Tonin1
That is super good! Amazing poem I love it! Perfect rhyming a wonderful story within a phone. Great word choices, awesome sentence structure. I couldn't ask for a better piece and there's only one thing to do about. It I hope you have a great night!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
|
That is super good! Amazing poem I love it! Perfect rhyming a wonderful story within a phone. Great word choices, awesome sentence structure. I couldn't ask for a better piece and there's only one thing to do about. It I hope you have a great night!
Comment Written 29-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
-
Thank you so much, Lea!
Xo
Jessica
