The Corner of Church and Main
A love story42 total reviews
Comment from Lisasview
This is such a beautiful ~ inviting love poem... I guess we both posted for the contest...Boy, yours is really wonderful...
I have a couple of thoughts...hope that is okay Jessica... if not just ignore me...
In you first stanza you have eight count syllables except for line two where you have nine.
If you get rid of the THE on the second line then that line will become eight..... The THE is unimportant...
If you go over your stanzas and get rid of unimportant words this lovely poem of yours would be Quatrains, 8 count.... really a perfect rhyming poem...
I am only saying all of this because I really like your poem...
Of course this is none of my business... so ignore me if you want I will understand...
Lisa
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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This is such a beautiful ~ inviting love poem... I guess we both posted for the contest...Boy, yours is really wonderful...
I have a couple of thoughts...hope that is okay Jessica... if not just ignore me...
In you first stanza you have eight count syllables except for line two where you have nine.
If you get rid of the THE on the second line then that line will become eight..... The THE is unimportant...
If you go over your stanzas and get rid of unimportant words this lovely poem of yours would be Quatrains, 8 count.... really a perfect rhyming poem...
I am only saying all of this because I really like your poem...
Of course this is none of my business... so ignore me if you want I will understand...
Lisa
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much, Lisa. I truly appreciate your thoughtful feedback! I can totally understand your thoughts on the syllable count and I will revisit with them in mind. The mixed meter was intentional, to give the rhythm a musical quality.
Thank you again for your valued feedback.
Xo
Jessica
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I love the mixed media Jessica.
I try hard to not use non poetic words in my Sonnets. I want my poetic voice to be heard... I am not sure if that makes any sense?
So I work on not using the, and, words like that... although sometimes I must to get the duh dah perfect.
Not easy that is for sure.
Glad I did not insult you....
Lisa
Comment from RaynaHarleenQuinns
Love how you brought the poem back with each stanza about one location and that was cooler than cool. Hell of a job with this poetry in motion...Literallly
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Love how you brought the poem back with each stanza about one location and that was cooler than cool. Hell of a job with this poetry in motion...Literallly
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much!
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Paul Manton
Hi Jessica! I thought this was very charming - a simple love story with a strong refrain. But I never review love stories! Usually they arrive dipped in sugar or saccharine and I move on rapidly, but you got this just right - though you gave your self a tough challenge with the monorhyme - and, I noticed, with no repetition! Well done.
Paul
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Hi Jessica! I thought this was very charming - a simple love story with a strong refrain. But I never review love stories! Usually they arrive dipped in sugar or saccharine and I move on rapidly, but you got this just right - though you gave your self a tough challenge with the monorhyme - and, I noticed, with no repetition! Well done.
Paul
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Paul, your kind words mean so much to me. Thank you for this wonderful review!
Xo
Jessica
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You're welcome Jessica. You really are a very gifted poet.
Comment from rjuselius
This is a lovely story dear Jessica! I feel for the characters. They are very well described. I love the ending.
Thank you for sharing! I wish i had 6 stars left.
Good luck!
Blessings with hugs!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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This is a lovely story dear Jessica! I feel for the characters. They are very well described. I love the ending.
Thank you for sharing! I wish i had 6 stars left.
Good luck!
Blessings with hugs!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much!
Xo
Jessica
Comment from JSD
Love the refrain which just makes the whole piece so lyrical and lovely. Excellent handling of rhyme and rhythm and a gorgeous little story. Well done and I hope you do well in the contest. x
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Love the refrain which just makes the whole piece so lyrical and lovely. Excellent handling of rhyme and rhythm and a gorgeous little story. Well done and I hope you do well in the contest. x
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you, truly appreciated! Xo
Comment from Sugarray77
You could feel the magical love in this verse as the snow fell and glances locked. Well done on using romantic imagery to capture the reader's attention and hold it through this story/poem. Well done and good luck.
Melissa
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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You could feel the magical love in this verse as the snow fell and glances locked. Well done on using romantic imagery to capture the reader's attention and hold it through this story/poem. Well done and good luck.
Melissa
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much, Melissa!
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Corner of Church and Main, has the proper formatting and finds two souls ignited by humorous stumbles and a night of excess living on the shoestring. To meet again has to be a sign.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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This poem, The Corner of Church and Main, has the proper formatting and finds two souls ignited by humorous stumbles and a night of excess living on the shoestring. To meet again has to be a sign.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you, Bill!
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Janet Foor
Lovely. I enjoyed reading your beautifully rhymed love story poem full of charm and romance.
Excellent repeating line and good use of alliteration.
Well done
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Lovely. I enjoyed reading your beautifully rhymed love story poem full of charm and romance.
Excellent repeating line and good use of alliteration.
Well done
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much, Janet! I truly appreciate your kind words.
Xo
Jessica
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Jessica
I think this is a beautifully written work of art. The repeat last line feels like a sigh and holds the piece together well. The story is also a strong message in maybe love and a little regret although it didn't appear that the two knew each other. Perhaps they will someday. It is a write full of hope. Good luck on your contest! Kiwi
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Hi Jessica
I think this is a beautifully written work of art. The repeat last line feels like a sigh and holds the piece together well. The story is also a strong message in maybe love and a little regret although it didn't appear that the two knew each other. Perhaps they will someday. It is a write full of hope. Good luck on your contest! Kiwi
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much!
Xo
Jessica
Comment from Paul McFarland
Nicely done, Jessica. This reminds me of a poem of mine - On the Corner of Bisbee and Blake. I'll post it one of these days. What do you think about replacing "streetlight's" with "streetlamp's"?
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Nicely done, Jessica. This reminds me of a poem of mine - On the Corner of Bisbee and Blake. I'll post it one of these days. What do you think about replacing "streetlight's" with "streetlamp's"?
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Paul, yes!! That line has been nagging me, to be honest? and I absolutely love that suggestion! Thank you so much!
Xo
