A Portal Opens
A brain injury results in opening another dimension.32 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This creates a nice suspense" When I watched the news on television, I felt I understood the characters of those I saw and I knew exactly what they were thinking. Some of the feelings I got when looking at them frightened me. I was sure I knew instantly if they were someone who could be trusted or not." Good foreshadowing: "I could have possibly passed it off as something not to worry about, if it had not been for what occurred next." &
He warned me that I might also be in contact with those who were dangerous and destructive." This is a good set up for a continuation.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
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This creates a nice suspense" When I watched the news on television, I felt I understood the characters of those I saw and I knew exactly what they were thinking. Some of the feelings I got when looking at them frightened me. I was sure I knew instantly if they were someone who could be trusted or not." Good foreshadowing: "I could have possibly passed it off as something not to worry about, if it had not been for what occurred next." &
He warned me that I might also be in contact with those who were dangerous and destructive." This is a good set up for a continuation.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2023
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Thank Liz, I appreciate you going back and reading this first one.
Beth
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I like looking at potential series...you've got a keeper here
Comment from lyenochka
I really liked this! And the idea of a portal opening to another dimension because of a certain brain injury is an interesting idea. I would have thought the ones who follow conspiracies all have some kind of brain injury of another kind. The story is great but the word count minimum is 2,000 words which I don't think this meets the criteria.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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I really liked this! And the idea of a portal opening to another dimension because of a certain brain injury is an interesting idea. I would have thought the ones who follow conspiracies all have some kind of brain injury of another kind. The story is great but the word count minimum is 2,000 words which I don't think this meets the criteria.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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I failed to notice the word count. I'm always if make the storied took long, no one will want to read them. I've never written Sci-fi or fantasy except in children's story, so probably wouldn't have won anything anyway. Thanks for the review. If someone had mentioned that early I could have made in longer.
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Sorry, I was so late getting to your post. It was really busy with family last week. I don't think I'll get caught up with the posts I missed. I agree with you about length as that's my experience, too, and I even start boring myself!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Boy, I was so carried away with your story I forgot it was a story! What dazzling writing. I was swept up in the adventure 100%. The story was just so real. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving. Karen
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Boy, I was so carried away with your story I forgot it was a story! What dazzling writing. I was swept up in the adventure 100%. The story was just so real. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving. Karen
Comment Written 26-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Wow! Karen thank you for a great review and six stars. I'm so glad it seemed real. My Thanksgiving was nice. I hope yours was as well.
Beth
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Yes it was good. Karen
Comment from w.j.debi
This is an interesting premise. Excellent job leading us slowly into this alternate universe and keeping us wondering just where and what the protagonist is experiencing. You have my attention. I'd like to know more.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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This is an interesting premise. Excellent job leading us slowly into this alternate universe and keeping us wondering just where and what the protagonist is experiencing. You have my attention. I'd like to know more.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm glad you liked it. Several have suggested I take it further. I'm going to think about it.
Beth
Comment from Teri7
Beth, this is a very well written and very interesting story you have penned for the Sci Fi Fantasy writing contest. You used great descriptive words with great imagery. Great artwork too! Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Beth, this is a very well written and very interesting story you have penned for the Sci Fi Fantasy writing contest. You used great descriptive words with great imagery. Great artwork too! Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much Teri. I was thinking of the angels and demons which seem to interact with us, but I didn't want to mention God since it is a fiction story and God is certainly not a part of fiction.
Beth
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Amen and Amen! God is so real!!! love and blessings, Teri
Comment from Terry Broxson
Beth, this is a very creative story for the contest, a virtual six for this one. I think it could do well in the contest. This sounds like a great story for the twilight zone! Terry.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Beth, this is a very creative story for the contest, a virtual six for this one. I think it could do well in the contest. This sounds like a great story for the twilight zone! Terry.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you Terry. I really appreciate the review and comments. Venturing into fantasy is something new for me like writing about Santa Claus wasn't something you had done before.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is an unusual Sci Fi story that almost sounds as though it could be possible. I most enjoyed the development of your protagonist. You gave the reader enough of his thoughts, narration, and dialogue that he could be easily envisioned. You story is well developed and comes to a satisfying conclusion. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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This is an unusual Sci Fi story that almost sounds as though it could be possible. I most enjoyed the development of your protagonist. You gave the reader enough of his thoughts, narration, and dialogue that he could be easily envisioned. You story is well developed and comes to a satisfying conclusion. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much for a great review. It is unual style of writing for me and since I'd never tried fantasy before I needed to make it something I could possibly believe.
Beth
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
The scientific nature of a brain concussion. What a journey you had; now I must ask you if this is nonfiction or fiction. I did like reading the imagination you mentioned in your story.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2023
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The scientific nature of a brain concussion. What a journey you had; now I must ask you if this is nonfiction or fiction. I did like reading the imagination you mentioned in your story.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2023
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Thank you Rosemary, There is a little of both science and fiction in this story. A brain injury can cause some very interesting things to occur. It is my first attempt at writing a story that isn't totally true but I believe it is possible.
Comment from Ulla
Oh Beth, this is certainly a new style of writing from your pen, and I loved it. Yes this world of ours is so full of misinformation these days. How simple the world were only a few decades ago.
I only found this: and drove me there = and drive me there
All the best of luck with this great story. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Oh Beth, this is certainly a new style of writing from your pen, and I loved it. Yes this world of ours is so full of misinformation these days. How simple the world were only a few decades ago.
I only found this: and drove me there = and drive me there
All the best of luck with this great story. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much Ulla. It definitely isn't my style of writing but I think we have to challenge outselves to try something different some times.
Beth
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I totally agree. I will be posting Beyond Redemption tomorrow . I had a sudden funeral to attend to today. A good friend died of a sudden heart attack on Friday afternoon. He was only 55 leaving behind a wife and five teenagers. It was really quite tragic. Here in Spain you get buried within 24-36 hours.
After my posting tomorrow, I will also try something new for a contest on Saturday. A horror or thriller story. I totally agree, it good to try something different. Ulla xcx
Comment from prettybluebirds
This story is a different take on the writing prompt. It is something different from the average fantasy story. I found the story enjoyable and the artwork perfect. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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This story is a different take on the writing prompt. It is something different from the average fantasy story. I found the story enjoyable and the artwork perfect. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I've never tried fantasy before and I'm too much of a realist to make it something I would find hard to believe.
