A Compilation of Short stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 170 "Relief"Expressions
23 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
In paragraph one the person seems despondent over their loss.
"everybody seem to be" should be everybody seems to be.
"hellbent on a self-destructive path" isn't that the truth about the world today?
All is well that ends well.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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In paragraph one the person seems despondent over their loss.
"everybody seem to be" should be everybody seems to be.
"hellbent on a self-destructive path" isn't that the truth about the world today?
All is well that ends well.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much. I've made the edits. Ulla;)))
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was amazing, Ulla! What a fabulous story, and it is a well deserved winner. I could feel everything the old man was feeling, the wistfulness, the loneliness, fear, and relief, and then the ending. That he managed to catch his beloved wife... simply great writing, my friend. I haven't any sixes left or you would definitely have had it. Well done!!!! Love Sandra xx
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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That was amazing, Ulla! What a fabulous story, and it is a well deserved winner. I could feel everything the old man was feeling, the wistfulness, the loneliness, fear, and relief, and then the ending. That he managed to catch his beloved wife... simply great writing, my friend. I haven't any sixes left or you would definitely have had it. Well done!!!! Love Sandra xx
Comment Written 21-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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Aw, Sandra, thank you so very much, and for you virtual six stars. I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you so much again, dear friend. A big hug, Ulla xxx
Comment from Paul McFarland
Congratulations, Ulla, on the win with this fine story. You have left the reader a little up in the air with your ending. I guess we can choose what we want regarding the condition of the man.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Congratulations, Ulla, on the win with this fine story. You have left the reader a little up in the air with your ending. I guess we can choose what we want regarding the condition of the man.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Paul. I think he died and got reunited with his late wife. At least, that's my interpretation. But I'm glad there could be another. Ulla:)))
Comment from w.j.debi
I'm not sure what the original story was, but this is a stand-alone story as it is. You do a great job of building the world for this character and letting us into his thoughts. Wonderful ending. All seems right with the world, at least for this person.
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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I'm not sure what the original story was, but this is a stand-alone story as it is. You do a great job of building the world for this character and letting us into his thoughts. Wonderful ending. All seems right with the world, at least for this person.
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Debi, for a wonderful review. I'm so pleased. I'm struggling to catch up with all my reviews. I've hade quite a few distractions of late. All good ones, I have to say. I won the contest, by the way. Ulla xcx
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Congratulations. It is well deserved.
Comment from Pam (respa)
This is an excellent story that I enjoyed reading. You capture a lot of emotion in it. A good hook at the beginning, and great characterization of this man who just wants "eternal sleep." He has good children who care about him, and most importantly made sure he had one of those emergency buttons.
You do a good job showing his outlook on the world and how he fears for his children and grandchildren. You gradually build the suspense as he sees a shadow when he wakes up, and then hears floor boards creak. I am glad he felt calm after hitting the button, but things weren't too good after that.
His children were there, but he wasn't sure what was going on and fell back into the black hole, but then he saw her in the green dress. He just wanted to be with her, ignoring the other voices and what was being said in his room.
The ending is very good because he was where he wanted to be. A very good entry; good luck in the contest!!
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2023
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This is an excellent story that I enjoyed reading. You capture a lot of emotion in it. A good hook at the beginning, and great characterization of this man who just wants "eternal sleep." He has good children who care about him, and most importantly made sure he had one of those emergency buttons.
You do a good job showing his outlook on the world and how he fears for his children and grandchildren. You gradually build the suspense as he sees a shadow when he wakes up, and then hears floor boards creak. I am glad he felt calm after hitting the button, but things weren't too good after that.
His children were there, but he wasn't sure what was going on and fell back into the black hole, but then he saw her in the green dress. He just wanted to be with her, ignoring the other voices and what was being said in his room.
The ending is very good because he was where he wanted to be. A very good entry; good luck in the contest!!
Comment Written 12-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Pam, for this outstanding review, not to mention the golden star. I am so pleased that you liked it. Yes, he got his wish in the end. Thanks also for the good luck wishes. :)))
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You are very welcome and deserving on all counts.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Author,
You've written a marvelous story with the perfect title.
The theme of loneliness and transition is very well done with excellent imagery and description.
The tension and anxiety is palpable as the scene flows down the page
as well as the mystery.
Perfect uplifting ending with reunion and relief.
Well done.
Best wishes
Robert
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2023
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Hello Author,
You've written a marvelous story with the perfect title.
The theme of loneliness and transition is very well done with excellent imagery and description.
The tension and anxiety is palpable as the scene flows down the page
as well as the mystery.
Perfect uplifting ending with reunion and relief.
Well done.
Best wishes
Robert
Comment Written 11-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2023
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Aw, Thank you so much for this empathetic review and for the lovely stars, Robert. I'm so pleased. All best, :)))
Comment from Wendyanne
Wow what a wonderful, well written piece of fiction! It was sad but it also had a "happy" ending as the two people were reunited in death. I do believe in this!! Good luck!
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Wow what a wonderful, well written piece of fiction! It was sad but it also had a "happy" ending as the two people were reunited in death. I do believe in this!! Good luck!
Comment Written 11-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Thanks a lot, Wendy, I'm so glad you liked it and thought it well written. That warms my heart. :)))
Comment from estory
I thought you did a great job of creating this scene of the lonely old man dying, and slowly reemerging into the next life. I loved the voice you used here, this lonely, ponderous voice full of compassion, angst and sadness, looking back over what is lost out of life, feeling the people around you fade away, and wondering what comes next. The death scene was terrific. I loved how you used this image of the wife who has obviously died previously reappearing in that wafting green dress to bring comfort. It's an image of the beloved and familiar that I guess we all hope to find in the next life. Also nice work creating those faint voices behind the narrator that seem to be trying to recall him from heaven back to the land of the living. Really nice job with this. estory
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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I thought you did a great job of creating this scene of the lonely old man dying, and slowly reemerging into the next life. I loved the voice you used here, this lonely, ponderous voice full of compassion, angst and sadness, looking back over what is lost out of life, feeling the people around you fade away, and wondering what comes next. The death scene was terrific. I loved how you used this image of the wife who has obviously died previously reappearing in that wafting green dress to bring comfort. It's an image of the beloved and familiar that I guess we all hope to find in the next life. Also nice work creating those faint voices behind the narrator that seem to be trying to recall him from heaven back to the land of the living. Really nice job with this. estory
Comment Written 11-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, estory. I am so pleased. I'm glad I just found the right note. That's all I can ask for. Thanks also for the lovely stars. I can't sign it as it is a blind contest. Thanks again. )))
Comment from Lisasview
Ohhhhh, this is good... gave me chills... wanted to read more and more...
I have no idea who you are so after the contest is over would you please let me know...
Thank you,
Lisasview
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Ohhhhh, this is good... gave me chills... wanted to read more and more...
I have no idea who you are so after the contest is over would you please let me know...
Thank you,
Lisasview
Comment Written 11-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Lisa. I'm so glad you liked it. I will let you know who I am after the contest. Thanks again. :)))
Comment from Navada
This is a lovely read. I liked the tension of the build-up to the attack, followed by the vacillation of your main character between worlds, as it were, and then the final decision to be united with their loved one on the other side. What was the original story that inspired this sequel? I'd like to read it. Could you possibly add the title and author in your author's note?
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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This is a lovely read. I liked the tension of the build-up to the attack, followed by the vacillation of your main character between worlds, as it were, and then the final decision to be united with their loved one on the other side. What was the original story that inspired this sequel? I'd like to read it. Could you possibly add the title and author in your author's note?
Comment Written 11-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Navada. I so appreciate your review and comments. It's lovely to know that you liked it so much. :)))
