Fallen to Life
Seasonal lesson14 total reviews
Comment from NadineM
I enjoyed your poem, Jewell! The imagery and messages evoke deep reflection. They say that being in nature can speak loudly to the heart and soul, like no other! I loved the questions posed, both to show opportunity for growth and adventure and also consequences to resisting change. Sometimes we fear change because we become complacent in what is familiar. Not that the familiar is the best for us!
I enjoyed your rhymes. If I were to recommend anything, I would suggest hyphenating between well and walked. (well-walked path) .
Thanks for sharing this with me! (Wishing I had time to write!! Who knew retirement would be so busy?!!)
Take care, Nadine
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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I enjoyed your poem, Jewell! The imagery and messages evoke deep reflection. They say that being in nature can speak loudly to the heart and soul, like no other! I loved the questions posed, both to show opportunity for growth and adventure and also consequences to resisting change. Sometimes we fear change because we become complacent in what is familiar. Not that the familiar is the best for us!
I enjoyed your rhymes. If I were to recommend anything, I would suggest hyphenating between well and walked. (well-walked path) .
Thanks for sharing this with me! (Wishing I had time to write!! Who knew retirement would be so busy?!!)
Take care, Nadine
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Thank you my friend!
Comment from Ric Myworld
AS I've often said, when it comes to poetry, I wouldn't know a sonnet from sorbet. But every once in a while I like to slip over and enjoy a few verses, and today, I'm glad I did. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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AS I've often said, when it comes to poetry, I wouldn't know a sonnet from sorbet. But every once in a while I like to slip over and enjoy a few verses, and today, I'm glad I did. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Thanks so much Ric!
Comment from JSD
Excellent metaphorical exploration of life and death. Lovely free verse and your careful choice of language enhances it superbly. Really economical and evocative. Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Excellent metaphorical exploration of life and death. Lovely free verse and your careful choice of language enhances it superbly. Really economical and evocative. Well done.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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I appreciate your kind words!
Comment from papa55mike
It's incredible the changes we go through in life just like the leaf. Ever-evolving. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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It's incredible the changes we go through in life just like the leaf. Ever-evolving. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Thank you Mike!
Blessed indeed!
Comment from Eleri
This is a very wistful poem and I love your use of the leaf images. The poem reads generally very well but your rhyming scheme seems a bit haphazard in places as does the length of your stanzas. I think that if you are going to include rhyming in a poem you should be consistent in it. For example, in the first two stanzas you have rhymed lines four and six but then abandoned that idea in all of the proceeding stanzas - that makes the rhyming almost look like a mistake. I would suggest that you either make the rhyming scheme consistent throughout your poem or get rid of it completely.
Having said all of the above, I do like this poem and the ideas behind it
Eleri
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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This is a very wistful poem and I love your use of the leaf images. The poem reads generally very well but your rhyming scheme seems a bit haphazard in places as does the length of your stanzas. I think that if you are going to include rhyming in a poem you should be consistent in it. For example, in the first two stanzas you have rhymed lines four and six but then abandoned that idea in all of the proceeding stanzas - that makes the rhyming almost look like a mistake. I would suggest that you either make the rhyming scheme consistent throughout your poem or get rid of it completely.
Having said all of the above, I do like this poem and the ideas behind it
Eleri
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Meh. It was just an expression free of rules. I?ll try harder next time. Thank you for the suggestions!
Comment from Dawn Munro
Well done, Jewell. We all question ourselves occasionally, don't we? Your metaphor of the leaf is a good one -- I especially liked this:
Weeks later
on that golden trail
I found it once again
Blanketed in frosty white
lay my fallen friend
Contentment
was her garment
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Well done, Jewell. We all question ourselves occasionally, don't we? Your metaphor of the leaf is a good one -- I especially liked this:
Weeks later
on that golden trail
I found it once again
Blanketed in frosty white
lay my fallen friend
Contentment
was her garment
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Thank you, Dawn. Glad you stopped by!
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You're welcome.
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
Gorgeous my friend, just gorgeous. I don't know why I came by here today cause I hardly ever do, but yet here I am and here you are. You have such a wonderful way with words and presentation. Lovely.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Gorgeous my friend, just gorgeous. I don't know why I came by here today cause I hardly ever do, but yet here I am and here you are. You have such a wonderful way with words and presentation. Lovely.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Thanks JoLynn! This is my first in forever!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a deep meaningful life as the author is at a crossroads in life, do we carryon with what we know or do we make changes and step into the unknown, a poignant write, this is my favourite stanza:
Weeks later
on that golden trail
I found it once again
Blanketed in frosty white
lay my fallen friend
Contentment
was her garment
Revelation
came to me
The lesson taught
by this small life
was meant to set me free
Much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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This is a deep meaningful life as the author is at a crossroads in life, do we carryon with what we know or do we make changes and step into the unknown, a poignant write, this is my favourite stanza:
Weeks later
on that golden trail
I found it once again
Blanketed in frosty white
lay my fallen friend
Contentment
was her garment
Revelation
came to me
The lesson taught
by this small life
was meant to set me free
Much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Thanks so very much, Dolly!
Comment from Teri7
This is a very beautiful and very well written seasonal poem you have penned. You used great descriptive words and very lovely imagery from the artwork you chose. Thank you for sharing! Teri
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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This is a very beautiful and very well written seasonal poem you have penned. You used great descriptive words and very lovely imagery from the artwork you chose. Thank you for sharing! Teri
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Thank you!
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is an excellent poem. I enjoyed reading it. Your entire presentation is good. You use descriptive words that draw in a reader.
Best wishes! Alexandra
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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This is an excellent poem. I enjoyed reading it. Your entire presentation is good. You use descriptive words that draw in a reader.
Best wishes! Alexandra
Comment Written 28-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much .
