Acrostic (I'm still fighting)
For all Vets Past and Present21 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is excellent and deserving of 6* but sadly I have none. Your assiduously selected wording holds such emotion and profound sadness. I love your choice of "gelded from life." "My future lost to lies of man" (although you don't need the comma after 'lost.' This is inspired poetry! Well done. Debbie
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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This is excellent and deserving of 6* but sadly I have none. Your assiduously selected wording holds such emotion and profound sadness. I love your choice of "gelded from life." "My future lost to lies of man" (although you don't need the comma after 'lost.' This is inspired poetry! Well done. Debbie
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you so very much for your wonderful comments and help, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are filled with meaning, are sad, and creative. Throughout these words the last line really resonated with me. I thought about how can we as country do more for our Vets! I like the title of this poem - it is heartfelt. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork goes well with these words. Hope you had a great day!....Maria
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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The author's words are filled with meaning, are sad, and creative. Throughout these words the last line really resonated with me. I thought about how can we as country do more for our Vets! I like the title of this poem - it is heartfelt. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork goes well with these words. Hope you had a great day!....Maria
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much Maria, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from royowen
Yes, there are so many anomalies, concerning care in this world, I'm convinced that there is enough room for all people to dwell in this world safely cocooned. But it seems so unfair to see people sleeping rough, beautifully written Karen, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Yes, there are so many anomalies, concerning care in this world, I'm convinced that there is enough room for all people to dwell in this world safely cocooned. But it seems so unfair to see people sleeping rough, beautifully written Karen, blessings Roy
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Thank you Roy, for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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Most welcome
Comment from country ranch writer
Homelessness is becoming an everyday thing these days losing everything we have worked all these years for, taken from us leaving us with nothing in return for all our blood sweatband tears.
There has to be away to regain our dignity back takinen away from us. But how?
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Homelessness is becoming an everyday thing these days losing everything we have worked all these years for, taken from us leaving us with nothing in return for all our blood sweatband tears.
There has to be away to regain our dignity back takinen away from us. But how?
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much, and yes it is getting out of control, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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Snike
Comment from jim vecchio
Great entry and selection of words that affect us deeply and emotionally. That was a good decision to use the term 'pon' though some may disagree. Your words "Gelded from life.." and onward, were perfect selections.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Great entry and selection of words that affect us deeply and emotionally. That was a good decision to use the term 'pon' though some may disagree. Your words "Gelded from life.." and onward, were perfect selections.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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And also deserved!
Comment from Wendy G
A very powerful poem, and it is done extremely well. Acrostics are never easy but yours flows well, and even includes rhyme and near rhyme. Your theme is a meaningful one, relevant to many, and challenging the reader to respond positively and with compassion. Your imagery is compelling eh 'impaled by stares'. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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A very powerful poem, and it is done extremely well. Acrostics are never easy but yours flows well, and even includes rhyme and near rhyme. Your theme is a meaningful one, relevant to many, and challenging the reader to respond positively and with compassion. Your imagery is compelling eh 'impaled by stares'. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Wow! Thank you so very much for your wonderful and encouraging comments and for the six stars, as always very much appreciated!****kahpot
Comment from Bill Schott
This acrostic poem, I'm Still Fighting, has the proper formatting and focuses on the plight of the thousands of veterans whose lives have run a downward course since serving their country. War has tolls that are never paid off.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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This acrostic poem, I'm Still Fighting, has the proper formatting and focuses on the plight of the thousands of veterans whose lives have run a downward course since serving their country. War has tolls that are never paid off.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Thank you Bill, yes we do need to do more, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from lyenochka
This poem speaks to me about veterans who served to preserve other people's freedom but could not receive the honor due to them when they returned home without the needed support to deal with the haunting effects of war when returned to civilian life
My favorite lines were:
"Impaled by stares from those who pass
Gelded from life I bled to save"
Suggestion:
That freedoms home all would achieve (freedom's)
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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This poem speaks to me about veterans who served to preserve other people's freedom but could not receive the honor due to them when they returned home without the needed support to deal with the haunting effects of war when returned to civilian life
My favorite lines were:
"Impaled by stares from those who pass
Gelded from life I bled to save"
Suggestion:
That freedoms home all would achieve (freedom's)
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thank you so very much, I have corrected my OOPS, yes we do need to look after our vets, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Paul Manton
Kahpot, this is really excellent. Sorry I have no more six stars to give.
Writing acrostics is no easy challenge - people are always using fillers and redundant words to make them work - so the poems sound forced and unnatural. For that reason I usually prefer to write free verse un-rhymed acrostics.
But here you have made a great rhyming acrostic, with almost flawless couplets - and a tercet! That takes skill.
Then you tell me a story! This old guy, homeless, sleeping rough, in constant danger, betrayed by his government, unrecognized for being a military veteran . . . and the historical inheritance too, of being transported out of his home many generations ago. And the rub is: no one ever put that right!
The whole thing is very well written, but the last stanza especially: 'impaled by stares . . . Gelded from life . . . Haunted by those . . .' This is outstanding poetry, Kahpot. I would have been proud to have written it.
No sixes left - but it's much better than five.
Paul
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Kahpot, this is really excellent. Sorry I have no more six stars to give.
Writing acrostics is no easy challenge - people are always using fillers and redundant words to make them work - so the poems sound forced and unnatural. For that reason I usually prefer to write free verse un-rhymed acrostics.
But here you have made a great rhyming acrostic, with almost flawless couplets - and a tercet! That takes skill.
Then you tell me a story! This old guy, homeless, sleeping rough, in constant danger, betrayed by his government, unrecognized for being a military veteran . . . and the historical inheritance too, of being transported out of his home many generations ago. And the rub is: no one ever put that right!
The whole thing is very well written, but the last stanza especially: 'impaled by stares . . . Gelded from life . . . Haunted by those . . .' This is outstanding poetry, Kahpot. I would have been proud to have written it.
No sixes left - but it's much better than five.
Paul
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thank you for this excellent review, I try these forms and hope to learn, comments like these are so very inspiring, we do need to try hard for our vets, as they gave their all for us all, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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You're welcome, Kahpot.
I gave a true story of a vet in 'Medal of Honor' No need for a review, but you might like to read it.
Paul
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did an excellent job with your acrostic, Kahpot.
I liked everything about your presentation--the art
choice was perfect, the color scheme worked well, the
rhyming was an added bonus, and the message was
clearly stated and one everyone needed to hear--esp
our gov't. However, this applied to other countries too.
We have forgotten the sacrifices our military made, both
past and present. Patriotism has waned among the young
for years. Our country is better than the way we show our
military.
Thank you for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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You did an excellent job with your acrostic, Kahpot.
I liked everything about your presentation--the art
choice was perfect, the color scheme worked well, the
rhyming was an added bonus, and the message was
clearly stated and one everyone needed to hear--esp
our gov't. However, this applied to other countries too.
We have forgotten the sacrifices our military made, both
past and present. Patriotism has waned among the young
for years. Our country is better than the way we show our
military.
Thank you for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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OH Wow! Thank you so very much for your wonderful and Indepth comments, yes, we do have to do more for our returning hero's, and yes, they are all over the world, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
