Billy The Kid
Henry McCarty, alias William H. Bonney/Billy The Kid32 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
Certainly an epic character from history. It's interesting how his photos never seem to match his reputation.
Anyhoo, great writing. I could see that conversation happening.
The ending line was perfect. Well done!
D
  |
Certainly an epic character from history. It's interesting how his photos never seem to match his reputation.
Anyhoo, great writing. I could see that conversation happening.
The ending line was perfect. Well done!
D
Comment Written 04-May-2023
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading this story/poem. It moved at a good pace. Quotation marks go around entire dialogue, and not around each sentence spoken. Example:Cowboy): "Boy! yer messin' wit Danger Dan, man!
And yer jawin's 'bout ta seal yer fate!"
Good luck with the contest.
Like a rattlesnake springing from the devil's hand!"
"Billy's gun cleared his holster" "that fast!"
"Billy's bullet knocked the gun outa Danger Dan's hand!"
"In a single straight shot blast!" (not sure this has quotation marks it's narrative, not dialogue.)
|
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading this story/poem. It moved at a good pace. Quotation marks go around entire dialogue, and not around each sentence spoken. Example:Cowboy): "Boy! yer messin' wit Danger Dan, man!
And yer jawin's 'bout ta seal yer fate!"
Good luck with the contest.
Like a rattlesnake springing from the devil's hand!"
"Billy's gun cleared his holster" "that fast!"
"Billy's bullet knocked the gun outa Danger Dan's hand!"
"In a single straight shot blast!" (not sure this has quotation marks it's narrative, not dialogue.)
Comment Written 04-May-2023
Comment from JLR
Dear Poet, I read this poem and think that this person is either an old soul or has lived a past life in the days of gunslingers and saloon gals. You havepulled off an epic presentation. Kudo's!
 |
Dear Poet, I read this poem and think that this person is either an old soul or has lived a past life in the days of gunslingers and saloon gals. You havepulled off an epic presentation. Kudo's!
Comment Written 04-May-2023
Comment from lyenochka
Well, I don't know enough about Billy the Kid but you made him to be not only "the fastest gun in the West" but also someone with some good sense and had learned to value life more than showing off.
Best wishes in the contest!
|
Well, I don't know enough about Billy the Kid but you made him to be not only "the fastest gun in the West" but also someone with some good sense and had learned to value life more than showing off.
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 04-May-2023
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
You must have read a lot of those outlaw stories as a kid, because you did a great job writing your poem. There is a lot of imagery and the words are colorful and descriptive. The dialogue made sense and the image supports the story. Best wishes!
|
You must have read a lot of those outlaw stories as a kid, because you did a great job writing your poem. There is a lot of imagery and the words are colorful and descriptive. The dialogue made sense and the image supports the story. Best wishes!
Comment Written 03-May-2023
Comment from LJbutterfly
This isn't just an epic poem for the contest, it's an epic story creatively told in rhyme. The story builds in suspense, with vivid imagery, and poetic dialogue. It has a satisfying ending and delivers a powerful message. Best wishes in the contest.
|
This isn't just an epic poem for the contest, it's an epic story creatively told in rhyme. The story builds in suspense, with vivid imagery, and poetic dialogue. It has a satisfying ending and delivers a powerful message. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 03-May-2023
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This was fun to read and the banter between the two outlaws was humorous and interesting to fathom how they lived back in the old days when the wild west ruled our land.
Billy the Kid was as mean as they come and will forever be remembered for how young he was and how tough he tried to act in front of others. Such bravado!
Jesse
|
This was fun to read and the banter between the two outlaws was humorous and interesting to fathom how they lived back in the old days when the wild west ruled our land.
Billy the Kid was as mean as they come and will forever be remembered for how young he was and how tough he tried to act in front of others. Such bravado!
Jesse
Comment Written 03-May-2023
Comment from Heather Knight
I like the fact that you tell a whole story in your poem. I wonder what it must have been like to live that kind of life. Always on the go, always running away.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-May-2023
|
I like the fact that you tell a whole story in your poem. I wonder what it must have been like to live that kind of life. Always on the go, always running away.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-May-2023
reply by the author on 03-May-2023
-
Thank You Heather for your most welcoming review. I often wonder how that kind of life would have been too. Well, for one thing we know by his history is: He got killed at age 21 and had already taken the lives of 21 people too, unless the history is wrong, he was a young dude that was either looking for trouble or trouble was his demise. They even think the death of him was possibly a lie and he lived a long life, due to a lawman taking a liking to him.
-
Thanks for the info. I've always found this guy pretty intriguing.
Comment from Paul McFarland
That is a really good story. Many of those outlaws were entertainment for people in the east, but they were trouble for those in the west. If you worked on the meter, you might have a winner.
reply by the author on 03-May-2023
|
That is a really good story. Many of those outlaws were entertainment for people in the east, but they were trouble for those in the west. If you worked on the meter, you might have a winner.
Comment Written 03-May-2023
reply by the author on 03-May-2023
-
Thank You Paul for your review and advice. I appreciate your input.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I liked reading this. It had much of the flavor of an Old West accent, as per these lines: Mister! yer soon ta be Dan the damned man!"
'If yer gun ain't shootin' fast and straight!"
Here are some lines that could use a few punctuation marks removed:
Mister! yer soon ta be Dan the damned man!"
'If yer gun ain't shootin' fast and straight!"
I would take out the quotation marks after the first sentence in the responses.
reply by the author on 03-May-2023
|
I liked reading this. It had much of the flavor of an Old West accent, as per these lines: Mister! yer soon ta be Dan the damned man!"
'If yer gun ain't shootin' fast and straight!"
Here are some lines that could use a few punctuation marks removed:
Mister! yer soon ta be Dan the damned man!"
'If yer gun ain't shootin' fast and straight!"
I would take out the quotation marks after the first sentence in the responses.
Comment Written 03-May-2023
reply by the author on 03-May-2023
-
Thank you for your review and advice dear lady. I appreciate your review.
