Challenge Me
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Blowing Free"I dare you....
22 total reviews
Comment from angel of the quill
a red little car it passes along
while the stereo p lays a favored song
but into this poets mind does creep
other images with which to keep
a low slung black sports car with fenders low
like a serpent it slithers on the go
with speeds that terrify the tires scream
into the manical it would seem
with gastly keeper sythe held tight
A painted image to give you fright
her name is widow maker a killer is born
she is something with which to adorn
with NOS hidden in a spot so shy
you wonder why this lady would ride
there she is loose the evil it is born
when she is there no using the horn
she will not ponder or pause as she races by
her image is a blur when she gives out her cry
with full throttled engine some say there goes a jet
she has never lost my dreams yet
she is my dream car never was made
but maybe one day I wil own her and her dream obeyed
she is haunting like this image I see
for it is the same one in my dreams with me.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2006
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a red little car it passes along
while the stereo p lays a favored song
but into this poets mind does creep
other images with which to keep
a low slung black sports car with fenders low
like a serpent it slithers on the go
with speeds that terrify the tires scream
into the manical it would seem
with gastly keeper sythe held tight
A painted image to give you fright
her name is widow maker a killer is born
she is something with which to adorn
with NOS hidden in a spot so shy
you wonder why this lady would ride
there she is loose the evil it is born
when she is there no using the horn
she will not ponder or pause as she races by
her image is a blur when she gives out her cry
with full throttled engine some say there goes a jet
she has never lost my dreams yet
she is my dream car never was made
but maybe one day I wil own her and her dream obeyed
she is haunting like this image I see
for it is the same one in my dreams with me.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2006
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2006
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wow great poem... you most definently need to get a membership here!!
thanx lots! :-)
Comment from LateBloomer
Hey Shelley,
I loved this one! How "free" I feel as I smell the ocean air and the wind blows on my face and blows through my hair!
I like this line:
the sun
says good night
with a pale orange kiss - peaceful and serene
Good writing. Thanks for the convertible ride. Regards, LateBloomer
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Hey Shelley,
I loved this one! How "free" I feel as I smell the ocean air and the wind blows on my face and blows through my hair!
I like this line:
the sun
says good night
with a pale orange kiss - peaceful and serene
Good writing. Thanks for the convertible ride. Regards, LateBloomer
Comment Written 15-Jul-2006
Comment from wintersknights
the poem is light and flows well. the rhythm melts in the senses and pulls on along to smile along with the words. I do like this one for it light emotions of which make me feel just warm inside. I did not find any errors nor would I change a thing.
wk
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the poem is light and flows well. the rhythm melts in the senses and pulls on along to smile along with the words. I do like this one for it light emotions of which make me feel just warm inside. I did not find any errors nor would I change a thing.
wk
Comment Written 25-Jun-2006
Comment from Lisloh
Smile...:)
Oh Shelley---you did good...:)
The ride down the coast is picturesque...
The sunset is awesome...
And the search continues, eh?
Thank you for creating this and sharing.
Take care & be safe
Lisloh
Excellent presentation!
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Smile...:)
Oh Shelley---you did good...:)
The ride down the coast is picturesque...
The sunset is awesome...
And the search continues, eh?
Thank you for creating this and sharing.
Take care & be safe
Lisloh
Excellent presentation!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from VICTIMEYES
well i just love the feel of all the surroundings and it's just you alone searching to find the you alone, i kind of loved that aspact of the poem, leave me alone i gotta go and find myself, pretty good.
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well i just love the feel of all the surroundings and it's just you alone searching to find the you alone, i kind of loved that aspact of the poem, leave me alone i gotta go and find myself, pretty good.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2006
Comment from clhutchinson
Cool! This poem really has the reader wrapped in mood, scene and feel of that moment with awesome strength and beauty. The message is well expressed with precison and is meaningful. A delightful and uplifting read.:)
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Cool! This poem really has the reader wrapped in mood, scene and feel of that moment with awesome strength and beauty. The message is well expressed with precison and is meaningful. A delightful and uplifting read.:)
Comment Written 23-Jun-2006
Comment from lil_butterfly
I loved the little inside quirks and I love your style....It was fun to read and appealing to the eye.......keep up the good work:)
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I loved the little inside quirks and I love your style....It was fun to read and appealing to the eye.......keep up the good work:)
Comment Written 23-Jun-2006
Comment from Wendyanne
You have succeeded in this challenge Shelley. You describe the scenery so well in this poem that I want to be there with the blue surf on one side and the redwoods on the other. Well done.
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You have succeeded in this challenge Shelley. You describe the scenery so well in this poem that I want to be there with the blue surf on one side and the redwoods on the other. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2006
Comment from damevictoria
I think you hit it all with quite a flair. This was a great piece of writing. I didn't find anything that needed a fix. Ya'll keep on with these dares, I'm enjoying the reads
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I think you hit it all with quite a flair. This was a great piece of writing. I didn't find anything that needed a fix. Ya'll keep on with these dares, I'm enjoying the reads
Comment Written 23-Jun-2006
Comment from starkat
Enjoyed the ride. I've taken that road many times although not in a '65 mustang with wind blowing through my hair. There is a definite feeling of being at one with the natural environment as you sail down the coast and watch the pale orange sun slip into the ocean. 'Searching for the awareness of me' is a facinating activity in such a beautiful setting. What if you realized on some conscious level that you were actually the entire scene; ocean, trees, mustang, and all? Will you be any happier if you found 'the awareness of me'? Just thoughts to ponder. Excellent visuals. Thanks for the eastern philosophy and the fun ride. Cheers. ;-)
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Enjoyed the ride. I've taken that road many times although not in a '65 mustang with wind blowing through my hair. There is a definite feeling of being at one with the natural environment as you sail down the coast and watch the pale orange sun slip into the ocean. 'Searching for the awareness of me' is a facinating activity in such a beautiful setting. What if you realized on some conscious level that you were actually the entire scene; ocean, trees, mustang, and all? Will you be any happier if you found 'the awareness of me'? Just thoughts to ponder. Excellent visuals. Thanks for the eastern philosophy and the fun ride. Cheers. ;-)
Comment Written 22-Jun-2006
