The Echo of Years
Alone and no one to feed me.6 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a very good entry to this contest. The font size is great. The message is consistent. The poem is well written and presented, Th visual fits well.
I feel if you add a pink background or colored the font a rich pink it would enhance the presentation. However, the poem is solid. Good luck!
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2022
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This is a very good entry to this contest. The font size is great. The message is consistent. The poem is well written and presented, Th visual fits well.
I feel if you add a pink background or colored the font a rich pink it would enhance the presentation. However, the poem is solid. Good luck!
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Sandra. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
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You are welcome.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Don you mean:
(I am all (alone) in my house,)
When we are used to company it is hard being in an empty house, I can identify with your words here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Don you mean:
(I am all (alone) in my house,)
When we are used to company it is hard being in an empty house, I can identify with your words here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Dolly, ;) and it's don Jose.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting take on the subject of the contest. The flow is good. The images are clear. The poem stays on point. The language is conversational and warm. The picture fits the romanticism of the feeling.
Suggestions:
I am all along in my house,
I think you have a typo and meant alone not along.
Second I think you might add force to the poem by trying to say things in the fewest words possible and keeping it in present tense. Terseness adds to immediacy.
Overall a good read.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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An interesting take on the subject of the contest. The flow is good. The images are clear. The poem stays on point. The language is conversational and warm. The picture fits the romanticism of the feeling.
Suggestions:
I am all along in my house,
I think you have a typo and meant alone not along.
Second I think you might add force to the poem by trying to say things in the fewest words possible and keeping it in present tense. Terseness adds to immediacy.
Overall a good read.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Thank you, dellsworthpoet. I caught the typo. I'll see what else I can edit.
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You are welcome.
Comment from BermyBye50
This is a well written entry in Starving for Love writing contest. The sense of both longing and loss are creatively lovingly expressed throughout each stanza. I too, am all alone without someone to love. I feel the deep sadness in your words. Well done.
Add a comma after sad in 2nd line - my spirit's sad, missing your lips.
All the best,
Eugene
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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This is a well written entry in Starving for Love writing contest. The sense of both longing and loss are creatively lovingly expressed throughout each stanza. I too, am all alone without someone to love. I feel the deep sadness in your words. Well done.
Add a comma after sad in 2nd line - my spirit's sad, missing your lips.
All the best,
Eugene
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Thank you, BermyBye50. I'm sad you're alone. I tried to address that feeling.
Comment from lancellot
Very nice. It has grace, passion, love and desire and has that hint of terrible loss of love, mixed with loneliness. Each stanza could be a self contained poem on its own.
Great entry. Good luck.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Very nice. It has grace, passion, love and desire and has that hint of terrible loss of love, mixed with loneliness. Each stanza could be a self contained poem on its own.
Great entry. Good luck.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Thank you, lancellot. Your eyes see what many do not. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from jessizero
"I am all along in my house," should be "I am all alone in my house,"
Other than that, this poem was wonderful. I am sorry you are going crazy by yourself. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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"I am all along in my house," should be "I am all alone in my house,"
Other than that, this poem was wonderful. I am sorry you are going crazy by yourself. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Jessizero. :) I corrected that typo. I'm glad you liked it.
