Was it Murder?
A strange case in the retirement villiage.30 total reviews
Comment from Annmuma
If I could give 12 stars, I would!!! Super, terrific writing. I never glanced away or down a sentence or two or anything. Just captured by the story. Looking forward to reading the follow up. Good writing. ann
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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If I could give 12 stars, I would!!! Super, terrific writing. I never glanced away or down a sentence or two or anything. Just captured by the story. Looking forward to reading the follow up. Good writing. ann
Comment Written 08-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Ann, thank you again for the six-star rating! Terry.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This was a fun story to read, Terry. You've created a very different sort of murder mystery, possibly believable, but, maybe not. At least it has caught our attention and got us thinking about it, especially with the last paragraph. It left us with many questions. :) Great writing.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2022
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This was a fun story to read, Terry. You've created a very different sort of murder mystery, possibly believable, but, maybe not. At least it has caught our attention and got us thinking about it, especially with the last paragraph. It left us with many questions. :) Great writing.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2022
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Judy, thank you for reading, in a very short while, I post a story that will answer your questions. Terry.
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You're most welcome, Terry.
Comment from Malcolm Rothery
That was a really enjoyable read. I cannot fault the writing. I am jealous! Well done. And I don't think it's murder either! If I could choose a way to go I might move into this place. It sounds like fun.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2022
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That was a really enjoyable read. I cannot fault the writing. I am jealous! Well done. And I don't think it's murder either! If I could choose a way to go I might move into this place. It sounds like fun.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2022
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LOL, Malcolm, thank you for your enjoyable review! I am about to post a follow-up story later today. Terry.
Comment from Sanku
great plot.Your writing is able to maintain the interest in the plot and you did not disappoint at the end.Brilliant ending .Imagine a publishing house setting up the scenario....the old ladies are greedy ,even at this age..
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2022
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great plot.Your writing is able to maintain the interest in the plot and you did not disappoint at the end.Brilliant ending .Imagine a publishing house setting up the scenario....the old ladies are greedy ,even at this age..
Comment Written 07-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2022
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Thank you for reading and your kind review. Some cats just can't change their spots. Terry.
Comment from Tpa
Great ending. The story was well-paced. It held my interest from beginning to end. It reminded me of a good Sherlock Holmes adventure of deduct reasoning. Like always, your writings are a gift of entertainment.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Great ending. The story was well-paced. It held my interest from beginning to end. It reminded me of a good Sherlock Holmes adventure of deduct reasoning. Like always, your writings are a gift of entertainment.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the six stars! I am delighted you enjoyed the story, Terry.
Comment from Fleedleflump
Lol, this was lots of fun to read. Regardless of whether a crime has technically been committed, we can say for sure there was a financial motive! This may be one of those rare cases where the victims are happy with their lot.
Mike
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Lol, this was lots of fun to read. Regardless of whether a crime has technically been committed, we can say for sure there was a financial motive! This may be one of those rare cases where the victims are happy with their lot.
Mike
Comment Written 06-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Mike, LOL, thank you for reading. The problem I have is what to do the next installment? The trial, its already 3,000 words! Terry.
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People are already engaged, so they'll forgive the occasional longy. If it gets too much, though, you can always find a mild cliffhanger moment around the middle and post as parts 1 and 2 (like Barbara Wilkey does with her current novel).
Mike
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Mike, that is part of my thinking, and then there is...just let it be. Thanks, Terry.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is really amusing. You have a remarkable imagination and a delightful ability to tell a story that's new and fresh. Who really cares if it was a plot or getting lucky, except maybe their publisher.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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This is really amusing. You have a remarkable imagination and a delightful ability to tell a story that's new and fresh. Who really cares if it was a plot or getting lucky, except maybe their publisher.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Carol, LOL, thank you for your review. Terry.
Comment from Thomas Blanks
It was Oscar Wilde who said, "I can resist anything except temptation." The older men in the story "Was it Murder?" were like moths drawn to a flame; they went out in a blaze of glory. As an aside, Viagra does not work the same on everyone. I had a supervisor at the FBI who was such a dick that Viagra made him taller!
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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It was Oscar Wilde who said, "I can resist anything except temptation." The older men in the story "Was it Murder?" were like moths drawn to a flame; they went out in a blaze of glory. As an aside, Viagra does not work the same on everyone. I had a supervisor at the FBI who was such a dick that Viagra made him taller!
Comment Written 05-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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Thomas, LOL, thank you for the review. Terry.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
It's an interesting case, to be sure.
I think the opening could be a little clearer and the same thing with the initial dialogue exchanges.
The pacing is good and it unfolds naturally enough.
The ending felt, to me, a little tacked on. It's a little trite and too neatly wound up. It also throws the two ladies under the bus in terms of motives and so on as the case would very quickly be re-opened in light of these developments.
There's also a change in tenses in the first section. If you start a conversation between characters in present tense, you can't slip it to past tense during that same conversation. It doesn't work.
The specific reason for the four is the opening and tense shift. If not on site, I would have returned this to the shelf.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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Hi there,
It's an interesting case, to be sure.
I think the opening could be a little clearer and the same thing with the initial dialogue exchanges.
The pacing is good and it unfolds naturally enough.
The ending felt, to me, a little tacked on. It's a little trite and too neatly wound up. It also throws the two ladies under the bus in terms of motives and so on as the case would very quickly be re-opened in light of these developments.
There's also a change in tenses in the first section. If you start a conversation between characters in present tense, you can't slip it to past tense during that same conversation. It doesn't work.
The specific reason for the four is the opening and tense shift. If not on site, I would have returned this to the shelf.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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Thank you for reading. You confirm what the "committee" of FS told me: my writing is amateurish at best.
Gareth, here is the truth of the matter. I am an old man. I post stories here because I enjoy writing them. I have no vision of publishing anything. There is no goal to make money. My abilities and capacity for improvement are limited. I appreciated your writing guides and reviews of truth from your perspective.
But let us not kid ourselves. My ship sailed long ago. Terry.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
So, not content with a steady income it looks as though the little old ladies will go to any lengths to hit the jackpot. Hope they can get the agent, publisher etc to believe it's fiction. Haha. Ask Wendy for tips on that, she's the pro. Kate xx
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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So, not content with a steady income it looks as though the little old ladies will go to any lengths to hit the jackpot. Hope they can get the agent, publisher etc to believe it's fiction. Haha. Ask Wendy for tips on that, she's the pro. Kate xx
Comment Written 05-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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Kate, thank you for reading. Terry.
