Challenge Me
Viewing comments for Chapter 76 "outside my windows - pt2"I dare you....
9 total reviews
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Another brilliant piece. The only critique I have is the second sun line four of paragraph four which I feel is superfluous. It flows freely without it and needs no substitute.
Are you writing this much every day or are you finding pieces you have archived?
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
  |
Another brilliant piece. The only critique I have is the second sun line four of paragraph four which I feel is superfluous. It flows freely without it and needs no substitute.
Are you writing this much every day or are you finding pieces you have archived?
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
-
both! thank you tom :)
Comment from Janice Canerdy
If we're observant, we will see and hear so many things between sunrise and bedtime that it would be hard to list them all. Are all of them significant? Well, that all depends . . . . Your poem is well detailed.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
|
If we're observant, we will see and hear so many things between sunrise and bedtime that it would be hard to list them all. Are all of them significant? Well, that all depends . . . . Your poem is well detailed.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
-
lol thank you janice :-)
Comment from royowen
Probably if you used more metaphors, painting mind pictures, like Jesus did, who spoke in illustrative language, when asked what was an example loving one's neighbour was, He said, there was a Samaritan, who saw an injured man. (Samaritans were considered by Jews to be the lowest of the low) Luke 10 : 30-37. (Otherwise this is just observational prose) people are trying to help Shelley, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
|
Probably if you used more metaphors, painting mind pictures, like Jesus did, who spoke in illustrative language, when asked what was an example loving one's neighbour was, He said, there was a Samaritan, who saw an injured man. (Samaritans were considered by Jews to be the lowest of the low) Luke 10 : 30-37. (Otherwise this is just observational prose) people are trying to help Shelley, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
-
thank you roy :-)
-
Welcome
-
My pleasure
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
You have shown us many pictures outside your windows, views are in details, movements of people, school boys and girls, and everything around the road; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
|
You have shown us many pictures outside your windows, views are in details, movements of people, school boys and girls, and everything around the road; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
-
thank you al :-)
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
There is a lot going on outside and around us. People get into a routine that usually never changes. Many times, I look out of my window. And see people walking around, I wonder, where do they live. What type of person are they, are they good or evil? Thank you.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
|
There is a lot going on outside and around us. People get into a routine that usually never changes. Many times, I look out of my window. And see people walking around, I wonder, where do they live. What type of person are they, are they good or evil? Thank you.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
-
me too! thank you carolyn :)
-
Good luck.
Comment from karenina
How well you've drawn me in! My kingdom for a six, this Friday afternoon...
In your previous post, you painted the picture--now you have swirled me into your paint!
I see and smile and hear and touch...
How wonderful the deep well flowing within your words!
Karenina
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
|
How well you've drawn me in! My kingdom for a six, this Friday afternoon...
In your previous post, you painted the picture--now you have swirled me into your paint!
I see and smile and hear and touch...
How wonderful the deep well flowing within your words!
Karenina
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
-
hehe thank you karenina :-)
-
You shine! Brightly!
Comment from Rachel Jamerson1
A very detailed and interesting observation of the progression of a day through your window. Is the resident confined to her home or is she just observing her neighbors?
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
|
A very detailed and interesting observation of the progression of a day through your window. Is the resident confined to her home or is she just observing her neighbors?
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
-
watching and observing :)
Comment from jessizero
I liked your "fleshed out" version of this poem. Watching a window can often be as entertaining as watching a television--maybe more so, as your mind gets to make up what is going on. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
|
I liked your "fleshed out" version of this poem. Watching a window can often be as entertaining as watching a television--maybe more so, as your mind gets to make up what is going on. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
-
thank you jessi :-)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I have read both poems. I can see the fleshed-out version gives more of yourself. I'm a simple person and like the less fleshed-out because it allows the reader to use their imagination to see what they want. There's a purpose for all types and all types are good.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
|
I have read both poems. I can see the fleshed-out version gives more of yourself. I'm a simple person and like the less fleshed-out because it allows the reader to use their imagination to see what they want. There's a purpose for all types and all types are good.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
-
thank you barbara :-)
