Wishing Well
Six year old Karlie makes a wish.15 total reviews
Comment from lauralumummu
I liked your little story, it was sweet and easy to read. It's so difficult to write something with such a low word count, you did a great job. All the best, Laura
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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I liked your little story, it was sweet and easy to read. It's so difficult to write something with such a low word count, you did a great job. All the best, Laura
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Thank you! Happy writing!
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
Nice job Raul. Wishing wells are beautiful. I remember throwing money in wishing wells. I Love your photo it compliments your words quite nicely. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Nice job Raul. Wishing wells are beautiful. I remember throwing money in wishing wells. I Love your photo it compliments your words quite nicely. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from l.raven
Hi Raul, how are you doing my sweet friend???
I love your story told...kids say the strangest things...
it was so sweet the six year old wanted to make sure everything was well...
very well written...and I love your story told...
picture perfect...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Hi Raul, how are you doing my sweet friend???
I love your story told...kids say the strangest things...
it was so sweet the six year old wanted to make sure everything was well...
very well written...and I love your story told...
picture perfect...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 26-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Thank you, my friend!
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your sooooo very welcome...love xxoo
Comment from Pj Dennison
Your concept or plot for this story is wonderful. You were able to convey love and faith in 80 words. This is excellent. The introduction paragraph needs some editing for clarity. I read my work out loud to see if it makes sense and reads smoothly. Perhaps this technique would be of assistance for you.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Your concept or plot for this story is wonderful. You were able to convey love and faith in 80 words. This is excellent. The introduction paragraph needs some editing for clarity. I read my work out loud to see if it makes sense and reads smoothly. Perhaps this technique would be of assistance for you.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
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You are welcome.
Comment from Annette R.
I commend you for being able to write a story in 80 words. That would be hard for me to do. I do wonder about the word sound. Might it be better to say sounds or sounded. Your choice of course.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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I commend you for being able to write a story in 80 words. That would be hard for me to do. I do wonder about the word sound. Might it be better to say sounds or sounded. Your choice of course.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from Shirley McLain
Hi, I read your flash fiction piece and I liked the story. It was not as clear as it could have been. I have rewritten it just to show you what I mean. Please take it as hopefully helpful suggestions when you compare.
Karlie went to the old, wishing well in town, and dropped a coin into the well. She believed it would come true, but no one else in her family believed in the wishing well. She raced home, excited to tell her father about the wish.
"Dad, I made a wish," Karlie said.
"What did you wish?" dad asked.
"For us to be okay," she replied.
"...and is everything still alright?" dad asked.
"Yes, dad, I wanted to reassure myself."
Have a great afternoon! Shirley
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Hi, I read your flash fiction piece and I liked the story. It was not as clear as it could have been. I have rewritten it just to show you what I mean. Please take it as hopefully helpful suggestions when you compare.
Karlie went to the old, wishing well in town, and dropped a coin into the well. She believed it would come true, but no one else in her family believed in the wishing well. She raced home, excited to tell her father about the wish.
"Dad, I made a wish," Karlie said.
"What did you wish?" dad asked.
"For us to be okay," she replied.
"...and is everything still alright?" dad asked.
"Yes, dad, I wanted to reassure myself."
Have a great afternoon! Shirley
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from Mary Vigasin
A very well-written story about the innocence of a six-year-old with deep faith in dropping a coin in a wishing well.
What a sweet and wonderful story.
Good luck in the contest.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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A very well-written story about the innocence of a six-year-old with deep faith in dropping a coin in a wishing well.
What a sweet and wonderful story.
Good luck in the contest.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Very Nice Raul
I think you should take a look at----
She wanted to make a wish and dropped a 'coin under in it.'
I believe you should edit that line
Gert
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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Very Nice Raul
I think you should take a look at----
She wanted to make a wish and dropped a 'coin under in it.'
I believe you should edit that line
Gert
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
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You are welcome Raul
Gert
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You are welcome Raul
Gert
Comment from nomi338
It is remarkable for a six year old to make a wish and have the faith that the wish will come true. It is even more remarkable for s six year old to make a wish and that wish us unselfish, as it is for her family to all be well. That is a commendable act of both love and faith.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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It is remarkable for a six year old to make a wish and have the faith that the wish will come true. It is even more remarkable for s six year old to make a wish and that wish us unselfish, as it is for her family to all be well. That is a commendable act of both love and faith.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, as long as everyone is well, that makes everything else okay too. Happy and healthy are the secrets to making all of content in life. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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Yes, as long as everyone is well, that makes everything else okay too. Happy and healthy are the secrets to making all of content in life. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
