Bleeding wetness over me
Image speaks to me5 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A poem of grief and sorrow as there is much pain in these words of loss. A powerful and inventive write and your words are poignant too, love Dolly x
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A poem of grief and sorrow as there is much pain in these words of loss. A powerful and inventive write and your words are poignant too, love Dolly x
Comment Written 08-Nov-2021
Comment from pookietoo
A nice entry. You used some rhymes. Interesting how you kept saying Bleeding wetness over me. Good luck in this contest. Keep smiling and writing great poems.
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A nice entry. You used some rhymes. Interesting how you kept saying Bleeding wetness over me. Good luck in this contest. Keep smiling and writing great poems.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2021
Comment from Frank Malley
This is a poem about a sad, physical ending. "Bleeding wetness over me," each of three stanzas final line, is made more lonely and frightening by the first two lines, "Walking halls of darkness/ Only death can see." This is a solitary struggle, and the combination of bleeding with the narrator's state of complete consciousness suggests that she is alone, suffering a miscarriage; However, "Breathing air a struggle" can only refer to the teller of the story, since unborn children do not breathe air. And, "A heart now slowly beats/ Organs ceasing function" could refer to an infant's s death or to someone experiencing her own death, in which case "Walking halls of darkness" could be a literal or figurative truth for the narrating poet. Losing a baby and dying oneself are very different things; I don't know that in this case ambiguity strengthens the poem. Most poetry gains power when particularity brings the reader more intimately and viscerally into the picture, and I think that this poem could have been set up to more clearly suggest the suffering of the narrator if she is indeed suffering the terrible loss of an infant that is transformed into blood. The poem bring up feeling in me, a reflection upon the millions of women who undergo such cruel robbery by Nature.
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This is a poem about a sad, physical ending. "Bleeding wetness over me," each of three stanzas final line, is made more lonely and frightening by the first two lines, "Walking halls of darkness/ Only death can see." This is a solitary struggle, and the combination of bleeding with the narrator's state of complete consciousness suggests that she is alone, suffering a miscarriage; However, "Breathing air a struggle" can only refer to the teller of the story, since unborn children do not breathe air. And, "A heart now slowly beats/ Organs ceasing function" could refer to an infant's s death or to someone experiencing her own death, in which case "Walking halls of darkness" could be a literal or figurative truth for the narrating poet. Losing a baby and dying oneself are very different things; I don't know that in this case ambiguity strengthens the poem. Most poetry gains power when particularity brings the reader more intimately and viscerally into the picture, and I think that this poem could have been set up to more clearly suggest the suffering of the narrator if she is indeed suffering the terrible loss of an infant that is transformed into blood. The poem bring up feeling in me, a reflection upon the millions of women who undergo such cruel robbery by Nature.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2021
Comment from Terry Broxson
Good poem for the contest, good luck in the contest. Is this how it all ends? Maybe, I could certainly see how this could come to pass. The opening is very good, excellent imagery through out. Good Job.
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Good poem for the contest, good luck in the contest. Is this how it all ends? Maybe, I could certainly see how this could come to pass. The opening is very good, excellent imagery through out. Good Job.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Rhyming Poem contest entry speaks how image speaks to the poet and bleeds wetness over him, there is free flow of thoughts and good imagery; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this, happy reviewing this; God Bless you, my good writer, post more, dear. ALCREATOR
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This Rhyming Poem contest entry speaks how image speaks to the poet and bleeds wetness over him, there is free flow of thoughts and good imagery; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this, happy reviewing this; God Bless you, my good writer, post more, dear. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
