Sir Winston
saved by a dachsund9 total reviews
Comment from writer723
I very much enjoyed reading your excellent story. It really drew me in and captured my attention from start to finish. I found myself rooting for the main character all the way and wishing the best for the individual. Your depiction of this situation was quite emotional and touching to me. Your descriptive skills are exceptional and you express yourself very well.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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I very much enjoyed reading your excellent story. It really drew me in and captured my attention from start to finish. I found myself rooting for the main character all the way and wishing the best for the individual. Your depiction of this situation was quite emotional and touching to me. Your descriptive skills are exceptional and you express yourself very well.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking time to read about Sir Winston. I appreciate your thoughtful review. Elaine
Comment from robyn corum
Mermaids,
What a delightful story!!! I haven't seen others in this contest, but I feel this one will be hard to beat. It's heartwarming and well-presented and well-thought-out. It tugs at every heartstring I have!! *smile*
I have a couple suggestions, if that's okay - which you are welcome to use or ignore, as you like, of course.
1.) Anna pushes Winston to the rehab unit.
--> 'pushes' didn't sound right to me. Shouldn't the cart give Winston mobility to go on his own so that he just follows her?
2.) Winston visits (C)arl for two more weeks.
3.) "No problem there. I(remove x space) 'll give you the name of the vet we use(d) to take our dogs to."
--> perhaps since they have cats, too - 'the vet we ususally take our pets to.'
4.) "We have decided to call Winston (')Sir Winston('). He deserves the title.
5.) I have learned from him to not see my lack of a leg, as a deficit to stop me.
--> no comma
6.) Life is not what (you) do not have [perhaps also add - (that's important)], but what you do have.
7.) Life turned out much better than she ever thought.
--> personally, I don't think this sentence is needed. The story sounds complete with just the one before this:
--> Anna smiles and is glad she brought the little dachshund to the nursing home.
--> It sounds to me like this character of Anna is a lovely person who still has nine pets at home to care for and quite possible a long life ahead with a LOT MORE to do. Let's don't end it yet, right???
That's it. Use anything that sounds helpful and trash the rest. I think you have created a lovely, compelling story that people will enjoy and that will linger afterwards. AND shown folks that you do have a gift for storytelling. Kudos!
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Mermaids,
What a delightful story!!! I haven't seen others in this contest, but I feel this one will be hard to beat. It's heartwarming and well-presented and well-thought-out. It tugs at every heartstring I have!! *smile*
I have a couple suggestions, if that's okay - which you are welcome to use or ignore, as you like, of course.
1.) Anna pushes Winston to the rehab unit.
--> 'pushes' didn't sound right to me. Shouldn't the cart give Winston mobility to go on his own so that he just follows her?
2.) Winston visits (C)arl for two more weeks.
3.) "No problem there. I(remove x space) 'll give you the name of the vet we use(d) to take our dogs to."
--> perhaps since they have cats, too - 'the vet we ususally take our pets to.'
4.) "We have decided to call Winston (')Sir Winston('). He deserves the title.
5.) I have learned from him to not see my lack of a leg, as a deficit to stop me.
--> no comma
6.) Life is not what (you) do not have [perhaps also add - (that's important)], but what you do have.
7.) Life turned out much better than she ever thought.
--> personally, I don't think this sentence is needed. The story sounds complete with just the one before this:
--> Anna smiles and is glad she brought the little dachshund to the nursing home.
--> It sounds to me like this character of Anna is a lovely person who still has nine pets at home to care for and quite possible a long life ahead with a LOT MORE to do. Let's don't end it yet, right???
That's it. Use anything that sounds helpful and trash the rest. I think you have created a lovely, compelling story that people will enjoy and that will linger afterwards. AND shown folks that you do have a gift for storytelling. Kudos!
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Love your suggestions and I agree with them. I plan on revising the story. I need help with prose and these will make the story stronger. Thanks so much. Elaine
Comment from RodG
I would like to believe this story about a dachshund and a man, both with disabilities, is true. It does seem like Sir Winston and Carl were meant for each other.
May I suggest compressing your introductory paragraph and getting right into the action. Make us see Winston through his actions. The best element of your story is the dialog.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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I would like to believe this story about a dachshund and a man, both with disabilities, is true. It does seem like Sir Winston and Carl were meant for each other.
May I suggest compressing your introductory paragraph and getting right into the action. Make us see Winston through his actions. The best element of your story is the dialog.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Thanks so much. Elaine
Comment from Midi O'Rourke
Oh, how well written. Very good that you timed the visit * two weeks later * because of the timeit takes to get and adjust to a prosthetic leg. Also, it is very believable.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Oh, how well written. Very good that you timed the visit * two weeks later * because of the timeit takes to get and adjust to a prosthetic leg. Also, it is very believable.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Thanks again for a generous amount of stars. Elaine
Comment from cupa tea
I see nothing to correct as in spelling or sentence structure. I love the piece because I have hearing loss. I agree, you have to try your best to overcome the disability, accept it, and get on with your life.
Good Luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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I see nothing to correct as in spelling or sentence structure. I love the piece because I have hearing loss. I agree, you have to try your best to overcome the disability, accept it, and get on with your life.
Good Luck in the contest!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021
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Thanks for reading and enjoying. Elaine
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Heartwarming and charming tale well told. A fine entry for the contest--it may be a winner--spot on for the theme--I haven't read another like it.
in title: dachsund=>Dachshund
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
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Heartwarming and charming tale well told. A fine entry for the contest--it may be a winner--spot on for the theme--I haven't read another like it.
in title: dachsund=>Dachshund
Comment Written 10-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
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Thanks so much. Elaine
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A sweet little story about this amazing dog who is happy and spreads his happiness despite his disability and thank goodness for this wheeled mobility invention that helps him get around, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
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A sweet little story about this amazing dog who is happy and spreads his happiness despite his disability and thank goodness for this wheeled mobility invention that helps him get around, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
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Thanks so much. Elaine
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
What a great story, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. Yes, animals have a way of knowing which people need their love. The picture is precious and so perfect for your words. Your story has good flow and a great message. In the future, I would suggest you show, not tell.'
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Winston visits carl ( Carl ) for two more weeks. Man and canine enjoy each other's company. Carl even has doggie treats for his
Life is not what do ( you ) not have, but what you do have. Sir Winston has the best personality and we are so happy to have him."
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
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What a great story, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. Yes, animals have a way of knowing which people need their love. The picture is precious and so perfect for your words. Your story has good flow and a great message. In the future, I would suggest you show, not tell.'
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Winston visits carl ( Carl ) for two more weeks. Man and canine enjoy each other's company. Carl even has doggie treats for his
Life is not what do ( you ) not have, but what you do have. Sir Winston has the best personality and we are so happy to have him."
Comment Written 09-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
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Thanks for the suggestions, they are needed. I am honored you enjoyed my dachshund tale. Elaine
Comment from Anne Johnston
What a great story you have written for this contest. Wonderful how this man and dog both learned to adapt to their disabilities and stay happy and upbeat. Very well written.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
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What a great story you have written for this contest. Wonderful how this man and dog both learned to adapt to their disabilities and stay happy and upbeat. Very well written.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
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Thanks so much. Elaine
