Another Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "The Night has eyes"American Isekai
10 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
What a great image and metaphor: "The old scout wanted to say no, but the sorrowful look in the men's eyes touched a not yet dead part of his heart." Some intense foreshadowing: "Why the bird of death was there, they did not question; they should have.". The issue with the flare will keep the reader coming back. I am.
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What a great image and metaphor: "The old scout wanted to say no, but the sorrowful look in the men's eyes touched a not yet dead part of his heart." Some intense foreshadowing: "Why the bird of death was there, they did not question; they should have.". The issue with the flare will keep the reader coming back. I am.
Comment Written 11-May-2021
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
lancellot:
Oh, you are a clever one, you are! So, did the manmade star that lit up
the sky serve as a warning to one group and a signal for the battle for the
other? I am still amazed at how you keep all your stories going at the same time. Thanks for sharing!
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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lancellot:
Oh, you are a clever one, you are! So, did the manmade star that lit up
the sky serve as a warning to one group and a signal for the battle for the
other? I am still amazed at how you keep all your stories going at the same time. Thanks for sharing!
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Thank you very much
Comment from judiverse
Rawls' keen eyes will come in handy. Excellent description of the setting and the atmosphere it conveys. Paul creates a light moment with his pants and the men's lack of understanding of "balls." I always helps to add flashes like that in moments of tension, as the men don't know what's waiting for them out there. The enemy awaits, and it looks like a large number of them. Lots of tension in the scene. judi
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Rawls' keen eyes will come in handy. Excellent description of the setting and the atmosphere it conveys. Paul creates a light moment with his pants and the men's lack of understanding of "balls." I always helps to add flashes like that in moments of tension, as the men don't know what's waiting for them out there. The enemy awaits, and it looks like a large number of them. Lots of tension in the scene. judi
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2021
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Thank you very much
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You're welcome. judi
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoy reading your writing. Thank you.
The earl was showing Paul his compass when Master Rawls saddled next to them. (I know this is extremely but I had an editor tell me I needed to write, saddle beside them. It has to do with the definition of the words.)
Raymond did know who or how many were coming, but he did know they could not survive a fight in the open desert or reach the city gates before being overtaken in their exhausted condition. (I think the first line is missing a word - Raymond didn't(?) know who or how many were coming, )
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I enjoy reading your writing. Thank you.
The earl was showing Paul his compass when Master Rawls saddled next to them. (I know this is extremely but I had an editor tell me I needed to write, saddle beside them. It has to do with the definition of the words.)
Raymond did know who or how many were coming, but he did know they could not survive a fight in the open desert or reach the city gates before being overtaken in their exhausted condition. (I think the first line is missing a word - Raymond didn't(?) know who or how many were coming, )
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
Comment from dmt1967
This is another good and well written chapter, although, I must admit, I am not gripped by this book as I am with your other projects. Thank you for sharing and stay safe.
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This is another good and well written chapter, although, I must admit, I am not gripped by this book as I am with your other projects. Thank you for sharing and stay safe.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2021
Comment from kmoss
This is an interesting read. The bits of humor work well breaking up the seriousness. Is there something I should know about the vulture or is that yet to be discovered?
Nice job, as always!
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This is an interesting read. The bits of humor work well breaking up the seriousness. Is there something I should know about the vulture or is that yet to be discovered?
Nice job, as always!
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This is a very well-written chapter that has piqued my curiosity to read what was written before it. I am aware from this rendering that there are a group of men on some sort of trek that appears to be in danger of an attack. I do have to read from the beginning for a more thorough knowledge of the plot.
Ralf
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This is a very well-written chapter that has piqued my curiosity to read what was written before it. I am aware from this rendering that there are a group of men on some sort of trek that appears to be in danger of an attack. I do have to read from the beginning for a more thorough knowledge of the plot.
Ralf
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear lancellot, Now this story is getting very exciting, because I know in the next chapter or two, Raymond and Edward will cross swords.
I know you are always reminding us, that this novel is a study about justice, and fear, that it may not always prevail.
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Dear lancellot, Now this story is getting very exciting, because I know in the next chapter or two, Raymond and Edward will cross swords.
I know you are always reminding us, that this novel is a study about justice, and fear, that it may not always prevail.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
Comment from robyn corum
Lancellot,
Another fine chapter. With -- a FLARE? Man, you constantly keep me guessing in this novel. Of course, a lot of that is probably my fault since I didn't begin following you until this was well underway so I'm missed a lot. But... there you go. I will just have to wait it out.
Only a tiny note:
--> Raymond looked at his scratched and (scraped) legs and then at the legs of his squires.
--> do you just refuse to believe me about this?
Thanks!
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Lancellot,
Another fine chapter. With -- a FLARE? Man, you constantly keep me guessing in this novel. Of course, a lot of that is probably my fault since I didn't begin following you until this was well underway so I'm missed a lot. But... there you go. I will just have to wait it out.
Only a tiny note:
--> Raymond looked at his scratched and (scraped) legs and then at the legs of his squires.
--> do you just refuse to believe me about this?
Thanks!
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
Comment from Begin Again
Your story is definitely out of my ballpark so I really am not the one to comment on the particulars. I will say that it reads smoothly, the dialogue and actions are perfect for men, and I enjoyed it. I liked the man-made star (the flare) and the connection to both camps.
begun sprinting back to camp. not sure whether this should began
Smiles to you, Carol
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Your story is definitely out of my ballpark so I really am not the one to comment on the particulars. I will say that it reads smoothly, the dialogue and actions are perfect for men, and I enjoyed it. I liked the man-made star (the flare) and the connection to both camps.
begun sprinting back to camp. not sure whether this should began
Smiles to you, Carol
Comment Written 06-Apr-2021
