The Interview
Fate visits two men in different ways.137 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Bob, this is such a stunning story and the thing is there must be many mirrored occasions that quietly remain in many minds that were blessed for some strange reason. The 84th floor would have spelled disaster. Poor Brad was not spared. This gives me a very eerie feeling. I'm wondering, did the New Yorker buy the story. Your thought processes are so profound. Thank you for a very captivating read.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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Bob, this is such a stunning story and the thing is there must be many mirrored occasions that quietly remain in many minds that were blessed for some strange reason. The 84th floor would have spelled disaster. Poor Brad was not spared. This gives me a very eerie feeling. I'm wondering, did the New Yorker buy the story. Your thought processes are so profound. Thank you for a very captivating read.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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Thanks Ralf. did you also note that the big boss wasn't going to live either? His flight was doomed, remember? Bob
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Yes, didn't you see my mention of Brad?
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hey Bob. That is a great piece. It certainly a study in irony. His life was making a huge change but that change was nothing compared to the change coming within hours. Robert
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2019
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Hey Bob. That is a great piece. It certainly a study in irony. His life was making a huge change but that change was nothing compared to the change coming within hours. Robert
Comment Written 14-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2019
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Thanks Z. Did you also notice that the big boss was going to die too on tat flight? Some people missed that for some reason. :) Bob
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Yeah, and I also thought about the other men he would meet with would be gone too. He would be the ONLY character alive from the story. A couple of months ago I posted "The Eleventh of the Ninth" which was a perspective of a working observer in NYC on the day. It was far different from yours. Mine was just a narrative. Robert
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:) Bob
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(*_*)
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: ) Good artwork here. LOL Bob
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I tried something different.
Comment from A. Willow Bends
This is phenomenal, that this was submitted in 2006 and that the flight was #93. What are the odds of that? The piece itself is, of course, very well written, but the little bits underlying, in view of 9/11, my god! Thank you for suggesting I read this. Did it not give you an incredible jolt to realize you had written this? I can see why it surely is one of your most memorable pieces.
Wendy
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2019
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This is phenomenal, that this was submitted in 2006 and that the flight was #93. What are the odds of that? The piece itself is, of course, very well written, but the little bits underlying, in view of 9/11, my god! Thank you for suggesting I read this. Did it not give you an incredible jolt to realize you had written this? I can see why it surely is one of your most memorable pieces.
Wendy
Comment Written 15-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2019
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Hi, Wendy. You did get it that the flight 93 which Holcumb would take would also have a bad fate. Some reads did not get that part for some reason. Bless you and thanks again.
Comment from Sandra Montanino
I love your imagery of the film snapping off the reel. Fabulous! In your 8th paragraph there are some jumbled up lettering in the word "decor." "The poor suffer, the rich are slightly inconvenienced." What a great line! You need a comma between "Take care" and "Greg." I absolutely loved this piece. It was genius!! Gives me a chill. I went to New York with some of my family at the end of August that year and they went in both towers and rode the elevator all the way up. My granddaughter started crying and had terrible nightmares after September 11th. Also my cousin worked right across the street and told us some horrible stories about that day and people falling out of the buildings. You are a master writer!!
reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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I love your imagery of the film snapping off the reel. Fabulous! In your 8th paragraph there are some jumbled up lettering in the word "decor." "The poor suffer, the rich are slightly inconvenienced." What a great line! You need a comma between "Take care" and "Greg." I absolutely loved this piece. It was genius!! Gives me a chill. I went to New York with some of my family at the end of August that year and they went in both towers and rode the elevator all the way up. My granddaughter started crying and had terrible nightmares after September 11th. Also my cousin worked right across the street and told us some horrible stories about that day and people falling out of the buildings. You are a master writer!!
Comment Written 26-May-2019
reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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Awww. Thank you so much, Sandra. I am so elaed by your review and the six stars. I am glad you liked this one. Just checking, you did catch it that the big boss was also flying out on the ill-fated flight 93, right? Bless you, Bob
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I didn?t catch the airplane flight. But that?s just me. You are a greAt writer!!
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Thank you. Do you get it now? LOL (two people's lives will be affected, Greg's and Holcumb's) Bob
Comment from Gloria ....
This is quite the story, Bob, and most especially the ending, the World Trade Centre. I thought the height of the building was ominous, and even with all the signs you neatly wove into the story, I didn't pick up on it until the end. Yeesh, some guys just don't get no luck.
Very well done. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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This is quite the story, Bob, and most especially the ending, the World Trade Centre. I thought the height of the building was ominous, and even with all the signs you neatly wove into the story, I didn't pick up on it until the end. Yeesh, some guys just don't get no luck.
Very well done. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 26-May-2019
reply by the author on 26-May-2019
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Thanks so much, Gloria. Did you understand by the way that that big boss was going to be on the ill-fated crash also? :) Bob
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I sure did Bob. :)
Comment from WryWriter
This story held my attention all the way through. I assume there is follow-up? Dialogue and action right on target. Description of environment perfect. Good cliff-hanger ending. Suggestions below for your consideration:
They were all nicely tailored and manicured and carried ((omit an)) expensive-looking leather briefcases, along with their obvious incurable air of importance.
Dedicated((omit,)) and loyal. When a man turns forty however, he learns that very few successful enterprises need, or want, his services. (I would put these sentences together. "Dedicated and loyal; however, when a man turns forty, he learns that very few successful enterprises need, or want, his services.")
Today, Greg would meet with Brad Holcumb, and hopefully the man would be from the old school((omit,)) where an individual's merit and track record mattered in the hiring process.
d�?�©cor
From this height, the city seemed sculpted and silent((--)) but busy. Michael Jackson's (("))Thriller((")) blared from a boom box on a shelf behind his stand
.
but that's all right.((alright)
"Yes, Suh! You have a good day((omit,)) now((,)) and remember, God carries us to places for a reason."
Financial Services of America was located in suite 8425. The lock snicked((snapped)) closed behind Greg.
wearing a fuchsia((-))colored business suit, with a sprig of white flowers in her lapel.
"Yes, I have an appointment with Mr. Holcumb at nine o'clock. Greg Sanbetter((omit ')) ((is)) the name."
"Thank you," said Greg as he placed the magazine back on the end table and grabbed his briefcase, ((omit and))((then)) followed her down a short hallway, past three leather-padded doors to Holcumb's inner sanctum.
Family pictures, including a rather attractive brunette woman and three young children((,)) were displayed on a credenza behind him.
cell-phone((cellphone)) shut. He glanced at his watch, spun his chair back around and stood to shake Greg's hand.
"Greg Sanbetter! Glad you could make it. Sorry((omit,)) I kept you waiting."
He((Use name)) removed his glasses, put one of the ear hooks in the corner of his mouth and let them dangle before he said, "Yes, Sir.
He((Use name)) paused briefly and continued.
Just one of those guys who will always have his elevator stuck between floors,((.)) ((Ya'))ya' know what I mean?" He shook his head.
You've been around the red tape rhubarb for ((a))spell ((omit a while)), haven't you?"
"Uuh huh. Well, let me just ask you((.)) ((omit- -)) ((W))hat happened over there at Brody and MaCabee, anyway? Why did you leave?"
He scooted up in his chair; his mouth suddenly dry((,)) ((h))is upper lip a constellation of tiny droplets.
What the hell, we all want that((;)) don't we?
"Okay then.((")) He clasped his meaty hands together.
"No. Of course not. That'll be great," said Greg((.))
"Yes, Brad((omit space)) .
The air was heavy and damp but clean((omit -))smelling. All was well with the world.
Our whole world will change after today((.)) or ((!))
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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This story held my attention all the way through. I assume there is follow-up? Dialogue and action right on target. Description of environment perfect. Good cliff-hanger ending. Suggestions below for your consideration:
They were all nicely tailored and manicured and carried ((omit an)) expensive-looking leather briefcases, along with their obvious incurable air of importance.
Dedicated((omit,)) and loyal. When a man turns forty however, he learns that very few successful enterprises need, or want, his services. (I would put these sentences together. "Dedicated and loyal; however, when a man turns forty, he learns that very few successful enterprises need, or want, his services.")
Today, Greg would meet with Brad Holcumb, and hopefully the man would be from the old school((omit,)) where an individual's merit and track record mattered in the hiring process.
d�?�©cor
From this height, the city seemed sculpted and silent((--)) but busy. Michael Jackson's (("))Thriller((")) blared from a boom box on a shelf behind his stand
.
but that's all right.((alright)
"Yes, Suh! You have a good day((omit,)) now((,)) and remember, God carries us to places for a reason."
Financial Services of America was located in suite 8425. The lock snicked((snapped)) closed behind Greg.
wearing a fuchsia((-))colored business suit, with a sprig of white flowers in her lapel.
"Yes, I have an appointment with Mr. Holcumb at nine o'clock. Greg Sanbetter((omit ')) ((is)) the name."
"Thank you," said Greg as he placed the magazine back on the end table and grabbed his briefcase, ((omit and))((then)) followed her down a short hallway, past three leather-padded doors to Holcumb's inner sanctum.
Family pictures, including a rather attractive brunette woman and three young children((,)) were displayed on a credenza behind him.
cell-phone((cellphone)) shut. He glanced at his watch, spun his chair back around and stood to shake Greg's hand.
"Greg Sanbetter! Glad you could make it. Sorry((omit,)) I kept you waiting."
He((Use name)) removed his glasses, put one of the ear hooks in the corner of his mouth and let them dangle before he said, "Yes, Sir.
He((Use name)) paused briefly and continued.
Just one of those guys who will always have his elevator stuck between floors,((.)) ((Ya'))ya' know what I mean?" He shook his head.
You've been around the red tape rhubarb for ((a))spell ((omit a while)), haven't you?"
"Uuh huh. Well, let me just ask you((.)) ((omit- -)) ((W))hat happened over there at Brody and MaCabee, anyway? Why did you leave?"
He scooted up in his chair; his mouth suddenly dry((,)) ((h))is upper lip a constellation of tiny droplets.
What the hell, we all want that((;)) don't we?
"Okay then.((")) He clasped his meaty hands together.
"No. Of course not. That'll be great," said Greg((.))
"Yes, Brad((omit space)) .
The air was heavy and damp but clean((omit -))smelling. All was well with the world.
Our whole world will change after today((.)) or ((!))
Comment Written 25-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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Thanks so much for your review and your help. Bless you, writer. Bob
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And may God Bless you also! : )
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:) Bob
Comment from Gail Denham
The whole world stopped, didn't it. Of course the ending was stunning. The leadup to the job offer was good, many excellent metaphors, esp. in the first few paragraphs. While I could understand the buildup, Greg's nervousness and such I would wish that part were shorter, perhaps snappier. However, considering the story, perhaps it couldn't be. The shoe shiner part is a bit of stereotype for me. Altho, after the ending, of course, you see why his talk was meaningful.
The story brings out the reality of what happened that day.
Good job.
reply by the author on 24-May-2019
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The whole world stopped, didn't it. Of course the ending was stunning. The leadup to the job offer was good, many excellent metaphors, esp. in the first few paragraphs. While I could understand the buildup, Greg's nervousness and such I would wish that part were shorter, perhaps snappier. However, considering the story, perhaps it couldn't be. The shoe shiner part is a bit of stereotype for me. Altho, after the ending, of course, you see why his talk was meaningful.
The story brings out the reality of what happened that day.
Good job.
Comment Written 24-May-2019
reply by the author on 24-May-2019
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Thank you, Gail. I am so glad you understood the story and furthermore why I had certain areas in the story like the shoe shine guy. It did have a purpose of course. thanks so very much, my friend. You did understand that flight 93 that Holcumb was going to take also crashed? Right? LOL Bob
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It was interesting for sure - and yes, I did understand about flight 93. It crashed not far from my good friend's daughter's place. Those were awful times.
Comment from kahpot
I think this story is riveting, the descriptions of the characters, surroundings, the anxiety and self worth of these characters, the interview is extremely well done, I stumbled on just one part, " three men and a woman followed him into the elevator. they were all nicely tailored and manicured and carried an expensive-looking brief cases" should this be "case" not plural? the ending is the greatest read, it delivers an unknown blow in two ways, how lucky Greg was to have to report on the 13th, how devestated yet relieved he must have been, an excellent read and worth every minute****kahpot
reply by the author on 24-May-2019
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I think this story is riveting, the descriptions of the characters, surroundings, the anxiety and self worth of these characters, the interview is extremely well done, I stumbled on just one part, " three men and a woman followed him into the elevator. they were all nicely tailored and manicured and carried an expensive-looking brief cases" should this be "case" not plural? the ending is the greatest read, it delivers an unknown blow in two ways, how lucky Greg was to have to report on the 13th, how devestated yet relieved he must have been, an excellent read and worth every minute****kahpot
Comment Written 23-May-2019
reply by the author on 24-May-2019
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A sincere thank you, Kahpot. I appreciate this review very much. Bob
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Thank you friend, what I meant earlier was, if I think I see a (whoops) I find it hard to continue and give my full attention to the rest****kahpot
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I understand I guess. :) Bob
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I understand I guess. :) Bob
Comment from robyn corum
Bob, (4)
Hello, there, friend. This was an interesting post but it's far from the stuff I'm used to from you. And, if you'll allow me to be honest, I can also tell it was written a while ago. Your skill set is much improved since the time this was written, imo.
The very opening confused me. You started out with two metaphors in one sentence. (Possibly three, depending on how one defines them.) I would think that, unless you can make them work together - like maybe the 'nuts and bolts that rattle loose' affecting the reel of film? - then you should try to avoid confusing the images in the readers' minds?
Other notes:
1.) This seemed to be wordier than necessary. I think you spent a lot of time at the beginning in his past work history and etc, when much of that was not needed. Referring to it later, during the interview, imo, was plenty. And all the wandering around and coffee stuff - I'm not sure what that accomplished. Every word you write should MOVE THE STORY FORWARD or reveal something imperative about your plot or your character. I always advise that you challenge yourself to pretend that you must PAY $20 for EVERY WORD you use.
Write your story, then go back and eliminate EVERY single word you can. Or reword each sentence to streamline them. (Of course, I know you know these things.) *smile*
2.) Thinking he would prosper more quickly at Prudential Equity, (h)e had quit
3.) Now, for the first time in nearly a year, he felt invigorated.
--> totally conflicts with opening statement and confuses the reader - what has happened since the opening to make the change?
4.) that he was either overqualified or underqualified for the current trends.
--> that seems to be pretty obvious and so there's no need to state it - either he would be qualified for the job or not
5.) They were all nicely tailored and manicured and carried an expensive-looking leather briefcases,
--> delete the 'an'
6.) along with their obvious incurable air of importance.
--> along with incurable airs of importance.
7.) Greg was a fairly tall man with a medium build, a tanned face and icy blue eyes.
--> I don't think this usually works - having the MC describe himself
8.) Heading that way, he took in the plush d�?�©cor as he
--> Evil Eddie got you
9.) As he moved along, Greg noted the glittery strokes reflecting the conceit of associates who leased in the building.
--> what does this mean? What are you referring to?
10.) "I (q)uit chasing skirt because I was afraid of being murdered
--> What is the purpose of the shoe-shine man? The introduction of a character should be for a PURPOSE. What does this man ADD to your story?
11.) looked like extras in an old (Cary) Grant movie
12.) at nine o'clock. Greg Sanbetter'(s) the name."
13.) "Very well(.)" She glanced at the planner on the
14.) (")Very well, I'll let Mr. Holcumb know you're here."
--> notice this is a repeat of 'very well'
--> what is the importance of her and her donut?
--> does it move the story forward?
15.) Sure you won't have some coffee?"
--> As a reader, I'm thinking - can she not see his Starbucks cup?
16.) Our whole world will change after today(.)
I think this story has a lot of potential, but not in its current state. I have to be honest and say it doesn't even really look like you checked it out much before you re-posted it. (And we all know our work needs to be checked and rechecked and rechecked before putting it before the public again - especially if we haven't seen it for a while.)
I hope, hope, hope you won't think I'm rude. So many people do. But I'm in this business to learn and grow and do it for REAL. I always hope and assume others are too. And to that end, I always try to treat folks like I want to be treated. You can tippy-toe and be kind and kissy-kissy all day - but that doesn't help folks. And I would rather have good, honest tips and comments than kisses (I have grandkids for kisses.) *smile*
The way I see it, if the people here are kind enough to be MEAN when I need it, I'm SMART enough to see through the bull and know what's right and what's wrong. What's right on-target and what's completely off the wall. I know you have been doing this long enough to be the same way. Yes?
So, here's the deal. You look at everything I've said. Use what you like -- IF ANYTHING. And TOSS THE REST.
The main thing is ALWAYS KNOW this comes from a good place and I really want you to know I enjoy reading your work and think you are far and away one of the most talented writers here. (You already know that.)
I will pop back over and re-rate as soon as you holler and tell me you've edited. Please don't hate me. Sending hugs -- (Don't holler. Don't hate??)
reply by the author on 23-May-2019
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Bob, (4)
Hello, there, friend. This was an interesting post but it's far from the stuff I'm used to from you. And, if you'll allow me to be honest, I can also tell it was written a while ago. Your skill set is much improved since the time this was written, imo.
The very opening confused me. You started out with two metaphors in one sentence. (Possibly three, depending on how one defines them.) I would think that, unless you can make them work together - like maybe the 'nuts and bolts that rattle loose' affecting the reel of film? - then you should try to avoid confusing the images in the readers' minds?
Other notes:
1.) This seemed to be wordier than necessary. I think you spent a lot of time at the beginning in his past work history and etc, when much of that was not needed. Referring to it later, during the interview, imo, was plenty. And all the wandering around and coffee stuff - I'm not sure what that accomplished. Every word you write should MOVE THE STORY FORWARD or reveal something imperative about your plot or your character. I always advise that you challenge yourself to pretend that you must PAY $20 for EVERY WORD you use.
Write your story, then go back and eliminate EVERY single word you can. Or reword each sentence to streamline them. (Of course, I know you know these things.) *smile*
2.) Thinking he would prosper more quickly at Prudential Equity, (h)e had quit
3.) Now, for the first time in nearly a year, he felt invigorated.
--> totally conflicts with opening statement and confuses the reader - what has happened since the opening to make the change?
4.) that he was either overqualified or underqualified for the current trends.
--> that seems to be pretty obvious and so there's no need to state it - either he would be qualified for the job or not
5.) They were all nicely tailored and manicured and carried an expensive-looking leather briefcases,
--> delete the 'an'
6.) along with their obvious incurable air of importance.
--> along with incurable airs of importance.
7.) Greg was a fairly tall man with a medium build, a tanned face and icy blue eyes.
--> I don't think this usually works - having the MC describe himself
8.) Heading that way, he took in the plush d�?�©cor as he
--> Evil Eddie got you
9.) As he moved along, Greg noted the glittery strokes reflecting the conceit of associates who leased in the building.
--> what does this mean? What are you referring to?
10.) "I (q)uit chasing skirt because I was afraid of being murdered
--> What is the purpose of the shoe-shine man? The introduction of a character should be for a PURPOSE. What does this man ADD to your story?
11.) looked like extras in an old (Cary) Grant movie
12.) at nine o'clock. Greg Sanbetter'(s) the name."
13.) "Very well(.)" She glanced at the planner on the
14.) (")Very well, I'll let Mr. Holcumb know you're here."
--> notice this is a repeat of 'very well'
--> what is the importance of her and her donut?
--> does it move the story forward?
15.) Sure you won't have some coffee?"
--> As a reader, I'm thinking - can she not see his Starbucks cup?
16.) Our whole world will change after today(.)
I think this story has a lot of potential, but not in its current state. I have to be honest and say it doesn't even really look like you checked it out much before you re-posted it. (And we all know our work needs to be checked and rechecked and rechecked before putting it before the public again - especially if we haven't seen it for a while.)
I hope, hope, hope you won't think I'm rude. So many people do. But I'm in this business to learn and grow and do it for REAL. I always hope and assume others are too. And to that end, I always try to treat folks like I want to be treated. You can tippy-toe and be kind and kissy-kissy all day - but that doesn't help folks. And I would rather have good, honest tips and comments than kisses (I have grandkids for kisses.) *smile*
The way I see it, if the people here are kind enough to be MEAN when I need it, I'm SMART enough to see through the bull and know what's right and what's wrong. What's right on-target and what's completely off the wall. I know you have been doing this long enough to be the same way. Yes?
So, here's the deal. You look at everything I've said. Use what you like -- IF ANYTHING. And TOSS THE REST.
The main thing is ALWAYS KNOW this comes from a good place and I really want you to know I enjoy reading your work and think you are far and away one of the most talented writers here. (You already know that.)
I will pop back over and re-rate as soon as you holler and tell me you've edited. Please don't hate me. Sending hugs -- (Don't holler. Don't hate??)
Comment Written 23-May-2019
reply by the author on 23-May-2019
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Thanks so much for your in-depth review, Robyn. Bob :)
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You're so awesome.
Comment from misscookie
H my dear friend you did it again
I loved every word I remember those day looking for a job with knots in my stomach and praise God when I was hired I love the way your story flow one could vision step by step even when he wanted to eat the women's donuts ( smile) thank you for sharing and I thank God you were safe on that terrible day 9/11
Until next time
cookie
reply by the author on 23-May-2019
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H my dear friend you did it again
I loved every word I remember those day looking for a job with knots in my stomach and praise God when I was hired I love the way your story flow one could vision step by step even when he wanted to eat the women's donuts ( smile) thank you for sharing and I thank God you were safe on that terrible day 9/11
Until next time
cookie
Comment Written 23-May-2019
reply by the author on 23-May-2019
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Bless your heart. Thank you so much, M'lady. Bob
