Reviews from

haiku (storm drowns desert)

a storm in the desert

125 total reviews 
Comment from Ekim777
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A neat observation of a protective Mother Nature. Something we would all like to relate to. We have the cold, indifferent aspect of her too. A fine Haiku in the tradition of things. There is a hint of some alliteration.
-Ekim777

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
    Thank you. Glad you liked it.
Comment from Hareem.S
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This is a very good haiku about how a tortoise protects himself in a storm. You have made good use of alliteration in "shelters in shell". It was a pleasure to read this.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
    Thank you, Hareem. Glad you liked it.
Comment from Domino 2
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Very clever entry, mystery writer.

Top 's' alliteration and sounds throughout.

Very clever last line, and he doesn't have to pay rent either. :-)

Best wishes, Ray


 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
    Thanks, Ray. You'll have to check the prompt after the contest to see who I am.
reply by Domino 2 on 02-Sep-2014
    I will if I remember. :-)

    Good luck.
Comment from Nosha17
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Those beautiful creatures definitely have a built-in security system. Cute poem, with well chosen words and imagery. Enjoyable read, good luck in the contest. Faye

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
    Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.
Comment from playinaround
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Nicely done. I love the visual of the turtle all safe and warm in his shell while weathering the storm. Thank you so much for sharing this creative haiku!

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
    Glad you liked it. It's the first time I tried one.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
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Hi,

I like how you reference the turtles own safe house, on matter the pelting of the rain during the storm in the desert.

Good luck in the contest.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*-*)

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
    Thanks, Jax. I appreciate your comments and review.
Comment from lalajovanoski
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"haiku (storm drowns desert as)" storm drowns desert as wise tortoise shelters in shell nature's own safe house

Haiku - Storm writing prompt entry


 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
    Thanks.
Comment from Liisa
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Lovely haiku, thank you. Very exotic too, as here where I live we can only imagine great storms, deserts and tortoises. But what I love about writing is that one can easily write about things he hasn't seen if he has enough imagination. Liisa

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
    Just as I can only imagine snow... Although we do get it every few years. Thanks, Liisa. Appreciate your comments and review.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
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This is a good thought about desert storms. Very good imagery in "storm drowns desert" and a good work in simile with the tortoise and its shell.

ola thomas

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
    Thanks, Ola. My first haiku.
Comment from kiwisteveh
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Or he could turn it upside down and use if for a boat if it really flooded! :O)

I'm always a bit surprised by enjambment like this in a haiku - is it the done thing or not? I have no idea.

In any case your poem presents a vivid image and a good satori line.

Good luck.

Steve

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
    You got me, Steve. This is my first haiku. A couple of people said "take off 'as' at the end of that line" so I did. Then, someone else said, "add 'as' so the lines flow into one another", so I put it back.