The Raiment of Autumn
a poem in anapestic meter117 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
When winter comes calling to steal the last leaf is a fitting line that is so true of winter arriving and Autumn disappearing. This unique poetic form captures the sadness of all the Fall colors fading away.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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When winter comes calling to steal the last leaf is a fitting line that is so true of winter arriving and Autumn disappearing. This unique poetic form captures the sadness of all the Fall colors fading away.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Elaine, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from Deniz22
Stark, bare, bleak personified by the picture and your always excellent word choices. The only downside is that Sawyer looks like he's been reading the poem and not joyfully anticipating winter! :)Dennis
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Stark, bare, bleak personified by the picture and your always excellent word choices. The only downside is that Sawyer looks like he's been reading the poem and not joyfully anticipating winter! :)Dennis
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Dennis, thank you so very much, my generous friend :-) Brooke
Comment from Dean Kuch
"and once all the fire of her garments is gone"----->since you've used "once", wouldn't "are" be more grammatically correct in this line, Brooke?
"and once all the fire of her garments are gone..." Just a thought...
Good alliteration in "until her apparel is savagely shed."
Good use of enjambment to keep a constant flow of thought and theme; the cold brutalities of winter.
Excellent, poet...
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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"and once all the fire of her garments is gone"----->since you've used "once", wouldn't "are" be more grammatically correct in this line, Brooke?
"and once all the fire of her garments are gone..." Just a thought...
Good alliteration in "until her apparel is savagely shed."
Good use of enjambment to keep a constant flow of thought and theme; the cold brutalities of winter.
Excellent, poet...
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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all the fire of her garments - the subject in that phrase is fire, which is singular, not the plural garments, which is part of the modifying prepositional phrase - this is something I see done incorrectly enough that I have it as one of the lessons in my SPAG class Thanks for your thoughtful review, Dean :-) Brooke
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Then what is garments, since you are speaking about "her"? Just curious...
I'm far from a grammar expert, and I think we both know that. It just reads awkward the way you have it written to me.
Anywho, you're very welcome, and everyone has their opinions, right, or wrong... :}
Comment from Glasstruth
Very elegantly written. Winter, the thief who steals the last leaf shows the cruel side of the weather which you paint very cold and unkind Old Man Winter. Great rhythm throughout. As always the rhyming is tops. Superb! Lesl
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Very elegantly written. Winter, the thief who steals the last leaf shows the cruel side of the weather which you paint very cold and unkind Old Man Winter. Great rhythm throughout. As always the rhyming is tops. Superb! Lesl
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Thanks so very much, Les :-) Brooke
Comment from ravenblack
needless to say, you don't for a moment allow the anapestic meter to become a pest pestering you. you really show winter as a savage thief, ripping-off falls garments, leaving her to shiver as he gleefully takes that last leaf. I despise winter and he is in every sense the cold-hearted brute that you describe.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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needless to say, you don't for a moment allow the anapestic meter to become a pest pestering you. you really show winter as a savage thief, ripping-off falls garments, leaving her to shiver as he gleefully takes that last leaf. I despise winter and he is in every sense the cold-hearted brute that you describe.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much, ravenblack, my fellow winter despiser :-) Brooke
Comment from TAB_that's me
No fair bringing on winter before its time - lol. Let's stick with the autumn part of the poem:) Great job - good luck.
Teresa
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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No fair bringing on winter before its time - lol. Let's stick with the autumn part of the poem:) Great job - good luck.
Teresa
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Teresa, I was hoping to insult winter into staying inside this year :-) Brooke
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okay, that would be great:)
Comment from angelface2
Brooke, this is so much, such a neat poem and I like it so much. You always make them flow with great rhythm and that makes them read easily. they also always make sense, and they never seemed forced. Great job. Miss Sally :>D
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Brooke, this is so much, such a neat poem and I like it so much. You always make them flow with great rhythm and that makes them read easily. they also always make sense, and they never seemed forced. Great job. Miss Sally :>D
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Thanks so very much, Miss Sally :-) Brooke
Comment from Sasha
Anapestic tetrameter sounds like an exotic spice used to make Italian food. I read the rules, like a good girl, and was more lost then before I read them...I have a reputation to maintain and seem to be succeeding. Lovely poem, excellent imagery and delightful descriptions that took me back to my childhood (the nice parts). Beautifully written and deeply moving too. Thanks so much for the fun trip down memory lane. I have all the confidence that you adhered to the rules and that this is a terrific entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Anapestic tetrameter sounds like an exotic spice used to make Italian food. I read the rules, like a good girl, and was more lost then before I read them...I have a reputation to maintain and seem to be succeeding. Lovely poem, excellent imagery and delightful descriptions that took me back to my childhood (the nice parts). Beautifully written and deeply moving too. Thanks so much for the fun trip down memory lane. I have all the confidence that you adhered to the rules and that this is a terrific entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Valerie, sitting here laughing. Thank you so much, my friend. I can always count on you to leave me smiling :-) Brooke
Comment from skye
Using the words of garment, rainment, apparel, bleak and quiver makes this wintery poem absolutely memorable.
Love the chosen art, love the imagery, and can feel the cold on the bare limbs, both human and nature.
excellent.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Using the words of garment, rainment, apparel, bleak and quiver makes this wintery poem absolutely memorable.
Love the chosen art, love the imagery, and can feel the cold on the bare limbs, both human and nature.
excellent.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Skye, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from nancy_e_davis
The garments of autumn are golden and red
until her apparel is savagely shed.
How bleak is the prospect, how deep is the grief
when winter comes calling to steal the last leaf. LOVE THAT!
It's like jumping from the oven into the freezer. LOL This is a very nice poem lamenting the transformation form Autumn to winter. :<) Nancy
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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The garments of autumn are golden and red
until her apparel is savagely shed.
How bleak is the prospect, how deep is the grief
when winter comes calling to steal the last leaf. LOVE THAT!
It's like jumping from the oven into the freezer. LOL This is a very nice poem lamenting the transformation form Autumn to winter. :<) Nancy
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2014
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Nancy, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
