Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Redemption"A collection of my poems
97 total reviews
Comment from KG Writes
kiwisteveh Shoot, you almost brought tears with this one! First, we have to admit and then we have to forgive ourselves. Very well done. Kept the reader enthralled right to the last verse. Great illustration to compliment your piece. Very best of luck in the contest. KG Writes
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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kiwisteveh Shoot, you almost brought tears with this one! First, we have to admit and then we have to forgive ourselves. Very well done. Kept the reader enthralled right to the last verse. Great illustration to compliment your piece. Very best of luck in the contest. KG Writes
Comment Written 10-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thank you!
A couple of readers have mentioned getting the shivers out of this tale....
Steve
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kiwisteveh I can well imagine they did! You are most welcome for the review. Enjoy your day. KG Writes
Comment from Ben Colder
An experience we all shall have. Something to look forward too, the Shinning face received. Well done poet. This is written with a great rhythm and flows like a breeze.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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An experience we all shall have. Something to look forward too, the Shinning face received. Well done poet. This is written with a great rhythm and flows like a breeze.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thanks, Ben
Steve
Comment from Ekim777
Ripe for a place in the Gothic (Read post modern) tradition. It echoes from the shades of Edgar Allen Poe. Even the perfect cadence resembles some dark ballad of the 19th century. I can hear my poet say; "I don't care for traditions; I write from my soul. Even our dark unconscious has the tread marks of our personal and universal past. Though we live in decadent times there is no reason why we shouldn't be technically polished and even perfect. "Down the long and narrow street, Dawn in silver-sandaled feet, crept like a frightened girl." So wrote Oscar Wilde. But yes it seems that our narrator, the poet has found his true voice. He grips us to the end even in the shadow of death. Welcome home again, my dear fellow poet. Welcome to the world of irrational terrors. -Ekim777
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Ripe for a place in the Gothic (Read post modern) tradition. It echoes from the shades of Edgar Allen Poe. Even the perfect cadence resembles some dark ballad of the 19th century. I can hear my poet say; "I don't care for traditions; I write from my soul. Even our dark unconscious has the tread marks of our personal and universal past. Though we live in decadent times there is no reason why we shouldn't be technically polished and even perfect. "Down the long and narrow street, Dawn in silver-sandaled feet, crept like a frightened girl." So wrote Oscar Wilde. But yes it seems that our narrator, the poet has found his true voice. He grips us to the end even in the shadow of death. Welcome home again, my dear fellow poet. Welcome to the world of irrational terrors. -Ekim777
Comment Written 10-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Ah, Mike, your review seems almost as poetic as my poem!
Thanks for the reference to the Wilde poem which I didn't know (but do now!) and for the generous helping of stars.
Steve
Comment from Devon Phipps
Very nice, and also very inspirational. It made me feel many different type of feelings, but also it allowed me to feel serenity as well. Thank you for posting such a lovely piece of work and I hope to see more from you. Thank you
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Very nice, and also very inspirational. It made me feel many different type of feelings, but also it allowed me to feel serenity as well. Thank you for posting such a lovely piece of work and I hope to see more from you. Thank you
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thanks, Devon.
Steve
Comment from janalma
Wow, what a story. This gave me goose-bumps, especially the last verse. Very well done in my inexpert opinion. The story of redemption is old as the hills, but you've given it a fresh flavor. I don't know what you call this type of poem but it read very smoothly.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Wow, what a story. This gave me goose-bumps, especially the last verse. Very well done in my inexpert opinion. The story of redemption is old as the hills, but you've given it a fresh flavor. I don't know what you call this type of poem but it read very smoothly.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind words - you are noit the only one to get the goose-bumps as the ending draws near....
Steve
Comment from michaelcahill
Wow. I honestly did not think for a moment my heart would be lifted with joy at the end of this piece. I wish I had a six to add to the many you will receive for this. This is like a writing lesson for me. Sometimes words like "the" and "a" are the correct words as they belong and make sense. I have been going over board trying to eliminate them. So foolish when I see how your piece flows so perfectly. Yet the wording is beautifully poetic much like a song would read. It would be a snap to put this to music. It would make a great folk ballad. Well, suffice to say, I think this has an excellent chance. Best of luck. In any event, one awesome piece of poetry, mikey
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Wow. I honestly did not think for a moment my heart would be lifted with joy at the end of this piece. I wish I had a six to add to the many you will receive for this. This is like a writing lesson for me. Sometimes words like "the" and "a" are the correct words as they belong and make sense. I have been going over board trying to eliminate them. So foolish when I see how your piece flows so perfectly. Yet the wording is beautifully poetic much like a song would read. It would be a snap to put this to music. It would make a great folk ballad. Well, suffice to say, I think this has an excellent chance. Best of luck. In any event, one awesome piece of poetry, mikey
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Mikey, thanks for the kind words and the virtual six.
I hadn't thought of this as a ballad, but yes, it could be sung in folk style...
Steve
Comment from denhagan
This is a poem that tells a story about redemption, written in the quatrain style with good rhythm and rhyming throughout the poem. Nice picture to accompany the poem.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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This is a poem that tells a story about redemption, written in the quatrain style with good rhythm and rhyming throughout the poem. Nice picture to accompany the poem.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thank you.
Steve
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You're welcome Steve,
Dennis
Comment from abbasjoy
I wish I had a six star left for this poem. It kept me at the edge of my chair, because I thought for sure something sinister was going to happen. The stage was set, but the ending was unexpected.
Guilt has a way of torturing you, and sometimes death is seen as a welcome relief. This individual however, felt the arms of someone who loved him, and was welcoming him home, despite all he had done wrong. Could this have been his Saviour?
Well written, and quite poignant at the end.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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I wish I had a six star left for this poem. It kept me at the edge of my chair, because I thought for sure something sinister was going to happen. The stage was set, but the ending was unexpected.
Guilt has a way of torturing you, and sometimes death is seen as a welcome relief. This individual however, felt the arms of someone who loved him, and was welcoming him home, despite all he had done wrong. Could this have been his Saviour?
Well written, and quite poignant at the end.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thanks for the thoughtful reading of my poem and the virtual six.
Steve
Comment from The poet RG
Rhyme and tempo made this flow off the page and into my imagination. A tale of guilt and redemption - the mystery man, the angel of death, come to exact his judgment?
Cheers
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Rhyme and tempo made this flow off the page and into my imagination. A tale of guilt and redemption - the mystery man, the angel of death, come to exact his judgment?
Cheers
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Matoshka
God is so forgiving, His mercies abundant and is love without limitations. I loved your words of in the end, we are held by our Father who loves us so. We are the hardest judges of ourselves, but he long ago had forgiven this poor son. I loved this very much. Blessings and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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God is so forgiving, His mercies abundant and is love without limitations. I loved your words of in the end, we are held by our Father who loves us so. We are the hardest judges of ourselves, but he long ago had forgiven this poor son. I loved this very much. Blessings and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
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You are so welcome, Steve, I enjoyed it very much. Blessings