Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Country Justice"A collection of my poems
100 total reviews
Comment from ElPoetry001
Five stars.
Yes, if Ben is her [Ben Hur], then who is him.
Nowadays if a person wants to announce their dominant sexual interest [gay/heterosexual], they usually do it on their own terms.
Which makes me sad for a successful man, years ago, that produced a product to alleviate pain.
The manufacturer must have had a grudge: The product was sold as: "Ben Gay."
Funny story, looking for watermelons, and finding a cane.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Five stars.
Yes, if Ben is her [Ben Hur], then who is him.
Nowadays if a person wants to announce their dominant sexual interest [gay/heterosexual], they usually do it on their own terms.
Which makes me sad for a successful man, years ago, that produced a product to alleviate pain.
The manufacturer must have had a grudge: The product was sold as: "Ben Gay."
Funny story, looking for watermelons, and finding a cane.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind words - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from mumsyone
Easy to see why this one won the contest. Congratulations! I hadn't come across it until now. Very well done; good rhyme and meter; consistent message throughout; and a great and unexpected twist at the end!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Easy to see why this one won the contest. Congratulations! I hadn't come across it until now. Very well done; good rhyme and meter; consistent message throughout; and a great and unexpected twist at the end!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the kind words - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from jackpeg
Took me a second or two to figure out what you meant by "obvious knob." Worth reading in our annual erotic open mic gathering next week. Has a splendid, rollicking rhythm to it, mindful of Robert W. Service.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Took me a second or two to figure out what you meant by "obvious knob." Worth reading in our annual erotic open mic gathering next week. Has a splendid, rollicking rhythm to it, mindful of Robert W. Service.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thank you - Service wasn't averse to a surprise ending either - gotta love 'My Husky Team' amongst others. It should actually be more reminiscent of Banjo Patterson - I often think the two are equivalent - I borrowed the rhyming and metrical pattern from his 'Bush Christening' - a true comic classic.
Steve
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I'll have to look up "Banjo Patterson."
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I looked up Banjo and read a couple of his poems. Excellent! I'd compare him to the English Rudyard Kipling. Thanks for dropping his name. I can see why he's an Aussie favorite. His work is agreeable to any poetry lover.
Comment from S.Yocom
Well, I can understand why you won the contest, Steve. This is a truly funny tale with a surprise ending, the kind we used to call a shaggy dog story. You told it well, with both inner and end rhymes, and you gave me a laugh. Well done.
Sally
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Well, I can understand why you won the contest, Steve. This is a truly funny tale with a surprise ending, the kind we used to call a shaggy dog story. You told it well, with both inner and end rhymes, and you gave me a laugh. Well done.
Sally
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thanks, Sally.
Always happy to hear about the laughter.
You think that's shaggy - I've got a few tales that are way shaggier than that!
Steve
Comment from gazzagodbod
great poem my friend missed this contest but a worthy winner me thinks great stuff thanks so much for sharing and congratulations gazza
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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great poem my friend missed this contest but a worthy winner me thinks great stuff thanks so much for sharing and congratulations gazza
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Yeah, this would have been up your alley. Second place was a beauty too by phattp...
Thanks for the review.
Steve
Comment from JW
Not only is your poem, very well written, it is cute as well and come with a very unexpected ending. I can only imagine the judge's face when he made the discover.
Great job! JW
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Not only is your poem, very well written, it is cute as well and come with a very unexpected ending. I can only imagine the judge's face when he made the discover.
Great job! JW
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thank you.
Not he sort of surprise you want when your expectations are high...
Steve
Comment from Piccalily Potter
Brilliant! I loved the twist at the end, that was brilliant.
I liked the beat of the words as I said them in my head and the whole thing flowed together very well. Good luck in your contest entry.
Piccalily Potter
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Brilliant! I loved the twist at the end, that was brilliant.
I liked the beat of the words as I said them in my head and the whole thing flowed together very well. Good luck in your contest entry.
Piccalily Potter
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thank you, PP.
Plenty more funny stuff in my portfolio if you ever have time to peek, along with my teddy bear poem you also reviewed.
Steve
Comment from DALLAS01
This was too funny. The poem flowed from beginning to end , as a matter of fact, it moved to a rhythmic beat that one could easily get caught up in. The story itself is quite humorous but when put to rhyme, with a little music, it could be a gold record.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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This was too funny. The poem flowed from beginning to end , as a matter of fact, it moved to a rhythmic beat that one could easily get caught up in. The story itself is quite humorous but when put to rhyme, with a little music, it could be a gold record.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thank you.
Not a musical bone in my body, unfortunately! I'd best stick to words on paper.
Steve
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi kiwisteveh
Interesting town this one, and the judge got a bit more than he bargained for by the sound of it! Amusingly wrtten story, works well in the quatrain.
Patrick
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Hi kiwisteveh
Interesting town this one, and the judge got a bit more than he bargained for by the sound of it! Amusingly wrtten story, works well in the quatrain.
Patrick
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thanks, Patrick - glad you enjoyed my amusing little tale.
Steve
Comment from LadyCosgrove
Oh my word! How to make a judge look stupid lol
A marvellous tale - so sombre and serious - with a perfect twist in the tail.
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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Oh my word! How to make a judge look stupid lol
A marvellous tale - so sombre and serious - with a perfect twist in the tail.
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Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Why, thank you, my Lady! Always look out for the sting in the tail.
Steve