Sergeant Major
Death and Dismemberment III30 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
A thoughtful tribute to the sacrifices made by soldiers - so often the news speaks only of those who died in battle and downplays those who were wounded, as if somehow that is not really all that bad. You do an effective job of reminding us that those injuries often affect a person's life for the rest of his life. I also like the spiritual optimism of the final verse.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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A thoughtful tribute to the sacrifices made by soldiers - so often the news speaks only of those who died in battle and downplays those who were wounded, as if somehow that is not really all that bad. You do an effective job of reminding us that those injuries often affect a person's life for the rest of his life. I also like the spiritual optimism of the final verse.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Thank you, adewpearl. You shine! Kit
Comment from cowley1963
Hi Kit, this is great.
Didn't see the end coming. Superb twist at the end, loved the religious connotation. An ideal end to a life of service and sacrifice, I guess you could call it back with his kindred.
Thanks for sharing this.
Steve.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Hi Kit, this is great.
Didn't see the end coming. Superb twist at the end, loved the religious connotation. An ideal end to a life of service and sacrifice, I guess you could call it back with his kindred.
Thanks for sharing this.
Steve.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Thank you, Steve. I can see Hank, straight and tall, embracing his men. Kit
Comment from martinC
Hi Kit
wow....this is so wonderfully written.
The very last lines were very moving indeed, and
you really captured some strong emotions.
An increadible write...sorry about the late reply, but the net has been down all day
martin
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Hi Kit
wow....this is so wonderfully written.
The very last lines were very moving indeed, and
you really captured some strong emotions.
An increadible write...sorry about the late reply, but the net has been down all day
martin
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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thanks, Martin. The net does these things - it's the little tiny bugs crawling around, feeding on electrons given off by the grand and glorious internet! Kit
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thanks, Martin. The net does these things - it's the little tiny bugs crawling around, feeding on electrons given off by the grand and glorious internet! Kit
Comment from ritareeact3
This one brought tears to my eyes as I read the last sentence of the last verse:
I walked into Heaven
between two rows of soldiers,
my men,
made whole and given back to me."
The sadness of war ending with a message of hope that someday all will be whole again.
Great job, again, Kit!
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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This one brought tears to my eyes as I read the last sentence of the last verse:
I walked into Heaven
between two rows of soldiers,
my men,
made whole and given back to me."
The sadness of war ending with a message of hope that someday all will be whole again.
Great job, again, Kit!
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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I can't read it aloud without crying myself, Rita! It's tough. I miss Hank and John. Kit
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I can't read it aloud without crying myself, Rita! It's tough. I miss Hank and John. Kit
Comment from RaymondJohn
It's an old story that's replaying itself now. Twice as many died of their wounds after the Civil War than those who died on the battlefield. Today, it's PTSS. It might not kill you, but it probably will mess up your life. Great poem. Best wishes. Ray
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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It's an old story that's replaying itself now. Twice as many died of their wounds after the Civil War than those who died on the battlefield. Today, it's PTSS. It might not kill you, but it probably will mess up your life. Great poem. Best wishes. Ray
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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My PTSD poem is on here - Horse Latitudes is about living with a veteran who is recovering from PTSD, 35 years after Nam. It's a good life, though. Kit
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My PTSD poem is on here - Horse Latitudes is about living with a veteran who is recovering from PTSD, 35 years after Nam. It's a good life, though. Kit
Comment from rama devi
It is a fine write. Thoughtful and well scribed with tone and pace of a busy sgt major who speaks in sentence fragments, as if still engaged in battle.
It makes the reader think of war and how atrocious it is for the soldiers who endure them.
No flaws to fix. I think this would have even more potent impact if accompanied by a photo or fitting artwork.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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It is a fine write. Thoughtful and well scribed with tone and pace of a busy sgt major who speaks in sentence fragments, as if still engaged in battle.
It makes the reader think of war and how atrocious it is for the soldiers who endure them.
No flaws to fix. I think this would have even more potent impact if accompanied by a photo or fitting artwork.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Thank you, rama devi. I have pictures of the men but I tend to want writers to respond from the writing first, so I know if it works without the extra help. Thanks again, Kit
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Thank you, rama devi. I have pictures of the men but I tend to want writers to respond from the writing first, so I know if it works without the extra help. Thanks again, Kit
Comment from StevenJosephBruening
A free form poem that is concise and smooth moohting in its format. Providiing only essential details needed to convey it message and purpose with the utmost sense of clarfication. EXtremeley Well done poem, wiout any spags tou be found.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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A free form poem that is concise and smooth moohting in its format. Providiing only essential details needed to convey it message and purpose with the utmost sense of clarfication. EXtremeley Well done poem, wiout any spags tou be found.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Thank you, Steven, for the honor of your review. Kit
Comment from Mirrorwall
I like this poem....though it's a bit unusual one
your words are very few yet they draw a very lucid picture in the readers mind
I think this is the bottom line of war and dispute
This is really a brilliant work
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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I like this poem....though it's a bit unusual one
your words are very few yet they draw a very lucid picture in the readers mind
I think this is the bottom line of war and dispute
This is really a brilliant work
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Thank you, Mirrorwall. I had sterling inspiration in the form of two Special Forces Sergeant Majors who both served in all three conflicts. Kit
Comment from Koba
Good poem! Good thoughts for a good ending. If only it could end like that! I have been meeting a lot of disabled vets in my work recently. It is so sad to see the pain and suffering they go through. I hope one day they are made whole.
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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Good poem! Good thoughts for a good ending. If only it could end like that! I have been meeting a lot of disabled vets in my work recently. It is so sad to see the pain and suffering they go through. I hope one day they are made whole.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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I hope that Hank was. If there is an afterlife, he must be whole, and with his men.
Comment from Walter L. Jones
No less a man, no greater a gift than self, what is the dream, to touch and love, so many empty and wondering, we are results of others, heavy the load carried, few have the courage to see, whole is the heart, better the writer, thank you, Walt
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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No less a man, no greater a gift than self, what is the dream, to touch and love, so many empty and wondering, we are results of others, heavy the load carried, few have the courage to see, whole is the heart, better the writer, thank you, Walt
Comment Written 02-Sep-2008
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2008
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Giant hug over the invisible wires to you. Kit
